Monster Girl Brothel Discussion Thread

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by FallenSaint, May 29, 2018.

  1. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    Hey everyone, I'm picking this story up after a hiatus, so lets have some fun with some sexy monster hookers!

    https://chyoa.com/story/Monster-Girl-Brothel.8296

    The synopsis is simple: After a few years on the Road, Silvan the beast tamer is ready to settle down. He has small group of monster girls following him when they come to a small frontier village. Needing money and a home, Silvan sets up shop in a barn behind the local tavern, pimping out his girls.

    Slowly Silvan and his girls grow in popularity in the town and demand increases. Silvan finds himself searching out more monster girls to fill the brothel and faces the trials and tribulations of meeting the town's expectations and taking care of his growing harem.

    I'm starting with an alternate path from the beginning. Some of the pages will have similarities to their original path, but that is simply because the pairings are the same for those. Once the ball gets rolling, I'll begin doing some different paths and adding in new stuff.

    Also, I'm open to suggestions for monster girls that should appear in the story. There are thirty one stalls for the girls, but three are already taken from the beginning, so we need to fill up twenty eight spots. Any feedback would be awesome and appreciated.

    And as always, a big shout out to Hematoma who started the forum game that this story is based off of, and to all the players that I got to enjoy it with. Please be on the lookout for cameos!
     
    Yarkoz and Duskford like this.
  2. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Glad to see you picking up the story again, Fallen Saint! As for the girls, my favorite was the human girl, Pepper, but I liked the ooze woman hematoma used on the game, Lea. Lady Clair also was fun.
     
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  3. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    Glad yoy still enjoy the story! I habe been meaning to do the alternate openings for a while but was working on another project.

    Good news and bad news time!

    Good news: Pepper lives in the town and can be added on any path.

    Bad news: Lady Clair may be a Mona/Gert exclusive. All PCs from the game will show up but because each path starts differently, both subtle and massive differences can appear, such as the brothel roster. Lea will also probably not show up but an Ooze is planned for all paths....

    So any girls you want to show up on this new path? Any type of monster you think would fit?
     
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  4. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Well, aside from Pepper, maybe a succubus girl/woman could be a nice addition (can't remember now if there was one in the old path without rereading the whole thing).
     
  5. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    Sisters actually. Silvan was taming the younger one to use against older.

    Anymore?
     
  6. moonblack

    moonblack CHYOA Guru

    I would say Mermaid, but I don't think she would really fit. Same for a Dryad and a Yuki-Onna. So maybe some sort of Nymph? A cyclops? A female Oni?
     
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  7. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    Dryad, Yuki-Onna, and Oni would all rock. Maybe Cyclops but not sure about mermaid...
     
  8. GenericEditor168

    GenericEditor168 Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    Dragon-girl.
     
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  9. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    One was planned just never got to her. I might make that one a priority on the new path.
     
  10. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    Ok here are the current roster plans:

    Path 1 only: Dahlia the doll, Cynthia the Centaur, and the succubus sisters.

    Path 2 only: Imp, dryad, fawn, and oni (red)

    Path 3 only: Goblin, and mermaid. Still thinking on Cyclops.

    All paths: Pepper, Lady Clair (different reason for each path), dragon, Yuki-Onna.

    I am still open to more suggestions and plan to do some research tomorrow on more options.

    Trying to avoid werewolves and orcs since i have done a lot with them in other stories.
     
  11. moonblack

    moonblack CHYOA Guru

    This I want to see, as I am really curious how you'll make it work.

    Did anyine mention Lamia and Naga yet?

    For further inspiration, if you have not done so yet take a look at the Dieselmine's "Violated Hero" games (just the pictures should be enough).
     
  12. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    I thought for the mermaid he would have a large tub or small pond made but it would be pricey. Also thinking of a sphinx in one or multiple paths.

    Lamia was a thought but not sure yet.

    I will look into those thanks.
     
  13. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Liking the proposed suggestions. The mermaid would be cool if you can make it work.

    As a new suggestion, maybe you can try to work in a vampire girl too. Regarding Pepper, perhaps you can make her stay at the brothel working full time in one of the alternate paths, as I tried to do in a chapter I wrote.
     
  14. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    I think I'll have the mermaid basically be late in path 3 so that he will have time to get build up a bit of money. Trying to decide between having a small pond built or just a big tub. I'm still a little shaky on how I'm going to pull this one off.

    The Vampire could work but I'm worried that it might be a little overdone also. Though the taming scene could be awesome since they both have fangs and bite.

    Pepper being a full time whore is actually my thoughts on path 2. I'm looking at Reikan having an early cameo flirting with Pepper (unsuccessfully...) and then coming back later after a tragic (not really) event and needing Silvan's help. When they finish up the mission (And return with a girl) Pepper will be unlocked due to planned circumstances. (Yes, I'm being vague on purpose...)

    Also I'm thinking the dragon will be an Elder Dragon that is at least three thousand years old and feels a bit superior to most people. Also a major tsundere... (Footjobs anyone?)
     
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2018
    Duskford likes this.
  15. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Maybe the pond is a better idea, you can just say there is a pond behind the brothel, without the need to build one. How they will be able to bring the mermaid there is another story, lol.

    Looking forward to seeing this plot for Pepper! Another suggestion for her, maybe it would be cool to have her in scenes with monster men too.

    The dragon sounds like a really fun character.
     
  16. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    The only problem with the pond is that i didn't mention one in the opening so I would feel like i pulled a DC retcon or somthing.

    Pepper likes adventure so it is possible that she goes along on some of the trips and gets into trouble.

    Yeah for the dragon i thought she would act too good to fuck the clients and only offer a foodjob (followed by making them clean the mess off her feet) and then deciding they deserved a reward which would be the actual sex. Never wrote a tsundere before so please be gentle with the criticism once i try lol.
     
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  17. GenericEditor168

    GenericEditor168 Really Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    Could the dragon give handjobs as well? Feet isn't everybody's thing.
     
  18. FallenSaint

    FallenSaint Really Really Experienced

    Yes she can, and will anyway, the feet thing is just to show some superiority and give readers a laugh at the tsun tsun dragon.