Recent content by parkingdiscount

Some feedback. English stuff aside since authors are not native speakers. Anyway, I recommend avoiding using names that are too similar. Unless your characters already stand out well, it becomes confusing when everyone is named a variation of Anne. People aren't going to bother reading the...

That's kinda how life is. The better writers on this site aren't here just to write a quick jerk off smut. They are often here to experiment and try their hand at writing a story. It can take a lot of time and effort to actually write, many of which can be times they just do not have any...

What are your goals with this story? You could do some research on the actual issues plaguing Japan's birth rates and make a satirical commentary of the government's efforts to combat it, think of this like some well masked social commentary. If you are just writing standard smut with no...

"Sweet lord!" Jackie exclaims as he slams his hands on the metallic safe. "We are rich, boys and girls!" <<------ Open the conversation how you wish to, the first line usually sets the stage so an appropriate starter works. Here we are staging the scene with a safe and Jackie being the first...

I think at the end of the day doing something unorthodox in your writing COULD work and turn out great, IF you have a good baseline knowledge of what you are doing and execute it properly. If you watched the video Hans Zimmer did about his Dune soundtrack, he took the initiative to break off...

Yea not sure why I accidentally wrote the FPP example in third XD, fixed.

POV switches are actually not as bad if you can write it naturally, the most important is having motive and consistency. If you are going to switch only three chapters out of forty, don't bother with it. The reader needs to be able to pick up on the switch naturally and don't feel like it breaks...

Characterization can be difficult since we tend to write characters similarly, a common sin of newbie writers is to have every character almost as confident as each other and talks almost the same level of language command so much so that readers think its the same person talking to themselves...

Some feedback from a quick read-thru: The sex feels a little too rushed. To quote an excerpt from your chapter: "Her tits jiggle with every thrust, as you fuck her and fuck her, until they pop out of her bra. You bend, putting her exposed nipple in your mouth, sucking and licking. She uses her...

I don't have a very good command of the English language, so when I write I often fall on a few basic phrases and words, a sin in writing. I don't think you should beat yourself up over your writing, writing here or on any place like Wattpad is akin to trying to get a graphic design open...

Well then in that case does making the Persona canon sexualized add to it in a way that you envision being useful? Does it achieve any goals that the original story does not already achieve without smut? If you find yourself writing for too long and realizing 15 chapters in that you have no need...

It also depends if you want to incorporate a level of believability to a story, or just want a fantasy to play out quickly. I mean if you have characters that know each other for a lifetime like a brother/sister in an incest story then it would be pretty unbelievable if they were normal...

Yeah ikr. Its like those mid to rich people telling us poor folk that they could only afford last year's Porsche and not this years'. Meanwhile if I get one comment I am happy enough. Signed, Someone with only double digit likes here.

Most readers wouldn't interact with the story to leave a like, its an active decision that even if someone enjoys your story they wouldn't bother to press it. Also deleting the story just because it didn't become a front page blockbuster in a day is an unrealistic expectation. Stories don't...

Wattpad, CHYOA and Literotica are all filled with beginner works with absolutely no writing experience but a shit load of badly written smut. There are a few gems in the rough but most, and by extension a lot of the popular works are actually just some teenager-esque written fantasy that has no...