Played a bit of Veilguard...gotta say...this really blows. It acts and plays like a Marvel Avenger's movie in a negative sense.
If it's not actually a female protagonist story, stop using the dam female protag if it's just a guy building a harem. It's rage inducing.
I revised mine to a more generic magic user class and spells, hope this is fine.
revised background, still debating whether or not to revise the class a bit.
Tried to define magic and spells more, I don't know if this seems fine to you or not. Still thinking of another flaw, and might tweak the...
Getting image links to work has proven to be a near torturous experience lately So have a few other ideas I might debate a bit too, but: Also...
Its okay to have your hero not be an average guy with no powers/magic and a complete doormat, anime.
I have never seen My Hero Academia but all the people insisting I should watch it, makes me not want too.
Every jackass who visits a gun range with their drinking buddies always thinks they're special ops. You're not fucking special ops.
“Him? Ew, no!” She took up a quick defensive stance as a reactionary measure to show her form as she partially lifted her knee and moved her arms...
“That was different.” She didn’t bother explaining how. “Besides, the rules of all of that stuff’s changed. You’ve saw we got actual demons...
While this wasn’t the first time someone said they were going to punch her in the face. But in her experience, not many actually do it. She was...
She knew better than to say too much to their faces, but she slumped at a table with her arms out in front of her. She always hated this place...
Looking back at your old writing is pretty embarrassing
(That wasn't supposed to be a seperate post, images were broken and trying to fix it apparently did it really fucked up trying to edit)
not to give you too much work but might help if you do it please, cause my brain is really bad at sorting this stuff
alrigh took a bit to revise, still a little confused but think I did. Think I have a good diverse selection of things to recruit too so that...
Tried cleaning the military sections up a bit with the cost but I’m still not too sure what I’m doing here
actually what I'm not clear on is if we can still recruit soldiers from territory controlled by a dfferent noble stronghold we don't control....
still think I might need to add a couple more things, but I think I might be almost done.
Separate names with a comma.
