Yet another generic mind control story...
It's a good story, but I dislike the idea that you take on the role of a scheming and conniving minx. I personally would rather the princess...
Could have been great, except you weren't nearly creative enough with it: and voices change with the body because they're generated by the vocal...
Links?
I have the following to say, "DIE JHON DOE, DIE!!!"
I haven't even read the story and I already dislike it. These are REAL women whose pictures you're using none of whom wanted to be trapped in...
Link?
The introduction doesn't GRAB people and give them a good reason to look past the front page.
If you could only alter your own past with this, I'd be cool with it, but right now it's seriously OP...
You're using the wrong POV, if this is a story of your past, it should be written from the first person, with words like 'I' 'My' and 'mine'
I expected better from You Majus.
Seriously, get Grammarly: it will improve your writing greatly.
I'm sorry, I just can't get into this, the premise is too non-con.
I dislike the premise right from the beginning: I'm not quite sure why, but it has something to do with the fact that the protagonist has never...
Much too much non-consent for my taste...
Link, please?
This story espouses rape and Non-con: you are perverting what should be the ultimate joy into a hideous abomination.
My first comment, right off the bat, is: CHANGE THE DEFAULT NAME!!! Leaving the protagonists name as just "Jhon Doe" is lazy and really detracts...
Links, and it please you?
Yet another lame mind control story: nothing new, or interesting...
Separate names with a comma.
