5/Day 1/Month

I am a strong supporter of women in STEM.
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Not a line I ever thought I'd read in a CHYOA story, but worth a chuckle.

The writing is fine; mostly correct from a technical standpoint (except for punctuation at the end of quotes), fairly consistent tone. The question prompts at the end of chapters are probably the biggest weakness, and I'd normally prefer a little more detail on the sex scenes but they're not bad. I think the hardest part for me to grasp was "noclip", which I guess is some kind of a game thing?

As premises go, my only real concern is with the utter nonchalance of needing medical assistance to ejaculate five times a day - complete with insurance covering things. It feels like [insert character name here] could do with a bit more conflict. Does he need to hire a prostitute, and where does he get the money for that? Does he have a girlfriend, and how does she feel about it? Maybe his mother sees his suffering and decides to help out? I think there's good potential in the story, but I think getting off should in this case be a bit more difficult and involve a few more consequences.

Then again, you have plenty of ongoing branches to deal with, so don't feel obliged to change the story - just something to keep in mind going forward, maybe.
 
Zeebop said:
Not a line I ever thought I'd read in a CHYOA story, but worth a chuckle.

The writing is fine; mostly correct from a technical standpoint (except for punctuation at the end of quotes), fairly consistent tone. The question prompts at the end of chapters are probably the biggest weakness, and I'd normally prefer a little more detail on the sex scenes but they're not bad. I think the hardest part for me to grasp was "noclip", which I guess is some kind of a game thing?
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Thank you. Yeah, it's a concept in a lot of games where you can fall through the map by accident or on purpose. I think my weakness regarding question prompts is that I may be ending chapters prematurely or too late instead of looking for a natural point to end, and give the reader a choice.

Zeebop said:
As premises go, my only real concern is with the utter nonchalance of needing medical assistance to ejaculate five times a day - complete with insurance covering things. It feels like [insert character name here] could do with a bit more conflict. Does he need to hire a prostitute, and where does he get the money for that? Does he have a girlfriend, and how does she feel about it? Maybe his mother sees his suffering and decides to help out? I think there's good potential in the story, but I think getting off should in this case be a bit more difficult and involve a few more consequences.

Then again, you have plenty of ongoing branches to deal with, so don't feel obliged to change the story - just something to keep in mind going forward, maybe.
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This is a good point. There is a twist that I haven't really revealed yet, which is that his ex-girlfriend is a nurse at the facility. I think these could be really good ideas to revisit. Maybe a no-insurance branch where he has to settle for whoever can help him. I'll try to introduce more conflict and make the story more engaging.

remysloane said:
Most stories I enjoy on here have longer chapters with more character development. But based on how most stories here are written, I could be in the minority there.

I enjoyed this chapter:

https://chyoa.com/chapter/The-trans-nurse.1097334
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Fair enough. I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter. I feel like it's necessary to start with a sex scene, even a brief one so that the story remains interesting for readers. Slow burn stories definitely have an appeal. My protagonist, I suspect is boring to others because I tried to keep him a blank slate the reader could project themselves onto. He doesn't even have a canon name. The character development that I want to have is mainly in the sexual partners, as he speaks with and learns about these women. And men when I do an alternate gay universe.
 
Only one page in. Silly concept, but I'm here for it. I love, love, love the fact that one of the first things you do is drop a reference to the MC's ex-girlfriend, not a girlfriend or a spouse. That's clever. It really assuages that little voice of guilt, for some reason. A single man might feel awkward whipping his dick out for a total stranger every few hours. But a single man fresh from a breakup? He's got something to prove! ;)

Chapter 2: Oh gods it's going off the rails already. It's not a train wreck yet, but I can see it coming. (That's okay. I knew the dangers when I boarded a train inside of a maths problem.)

The only issue I have with this page is that you gave the medic in the ambulance the most stereotypical Australian name ever.

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty curious to see what happens if I ask the driver to join in. I'll learn a lot about the story's sense of humor when I see whether the ambulance immediately crashes or not.

Chapter 3: Yeah, okay, we're done here. ب_ب
 
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CurvyLinesEverywhere said:
Only one page in. Silly concept, but I'm here for it. I love, love, love the fact that one of the first things you do is drop a reference to the MC's ex-girlfriend, not a girlfriend or a spouse. That's clever. It really assuages that little voice of guilt, for some reason. A single man might feel awkward whipping his dick out for a total stranger every few hours. But a single man fresh from a breakup? He's got something to prove! ;)

Chapter 2: Oh gods it's going off the rails already. It's not a train wreck yet, but I can see it coming. (That's okay. I knew the dangers when I boarded a train inside of a maths problem.)

The only issue I have with this page is that you gave the medic in the ambulance the most stereotypical Australian name ever.

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty curious to see what happens if I ask the driver to join in. I'll learn a lot about the story's sense of humor when I see whether the ambulance immediately crashes or not.

Chapter 3: Yeah, okay, we're done here. ب_ب
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lol.

It's funny you mention that, because I took someone's suggestion and made that the start of the isekai arc.
 
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