A Party Gone Wrong

DeviantChalice

DeviantChalice

Really Experienced
Non-con story, so back out now if that bothers you.

https://chyoa.com/story/A-Party-Gone-Wrong.34894

I'm quite happy with how this has been received so far. It's been a while since I last wrote erotica for like, an audience, and the adventure book format is a lot of fun because I struggle to decide where a story is going sometimes so why not all the ways.

Still, I find it hard to work out what to prioritise and since I want every chapter to have a meaningful choice, it's going to get out of control really fast unless I prune and/or merge paths (which is something I've started doing with some chapters terminating in an "end screen".

Anyway anyone have any thoughts? Questions? Comments?

Edit: I realise a lot of you are American so sorry for posting this while you're all asleep.
 
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DeviantChap said:
Still, I find it hard to work out what to prioritise and since I want every chapter to have a menaingful choice, it's going to get out of control really fast unless I prune and/or merge paths (which is something I've started doing with some chapters terminating in an "end screen"..
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I hear that. What I've been doing is focusing on the chapters that are getting more likes and comments or even bookmarks than others. So, I've ended up with about three distinct separate paths that I'm dating, and about three sub-paths within one of the main paths, which I'm sure you can count is only 6, which is a heck of a lot more manageable than 16384 lol. But I definitely understand the desire to update everything. There are some chapters/paths I want to update, and I have ideas for, but I'm restraining myself.
 
SnoopWorg said:
I hear that. What I've been doing is focusing on the chapters that are getting more likes and comments or even bookmarks than others. So, I've ended up with about three distinct separate paths that I'm dating, and about three sub-paths within one of the main paths, which I'm sure you can count is only 6, which is a heck of a lot more manageable than 16384 lol. But I definitely understand the desire to update everything. There are some chapters/paths I want to update, and I have ideas for, but I'm restraining myself.
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I think prioritising things that get more likes and comments is definitely a good idea, although I don't think bookmarks are directly visible? If they are I missed it.

I'm not a huge fan of long runs of no meaningful choice, so I think I'm going to try and enforce a principle that the protag is eventually going home and as soon as she gets home, safe in her bed, alone, the story is over. But I like my binary choices. They're one of the most fun things :3
 
DeviantChap said:
I think prioritising things that get more likes and comments is definitely a good idea, although I don't think bookmarks are directly visible? If they are I missed it.
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No, you're right, but you do get notified when someone bookmarks a chapter, so it's something I like to keep a mental record of because it tells me that those people are obviously interested in seeing what happens next from that chapter.

DeviantChap said:
I'm not a huge fan of long runs of no meaningful choice, so I think I'm going to try and enforce a principle that the protag is eventually going home and as soon as she gets home, safe in her bed, alone, the story is over. But I like my binary choices. They're one of the most fun things :3
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Yeah, I like to include some kind of choice every so often, which is why the my main route has about three sub routes. Although looks can be deceiving. Since I'm using game mode, a lot of my chapters change based on previous choices, but instead of being two chapters, the variables decide what's being seen. I see you're also using game mode on your story. Have you used it much yet?
 
DeviantChap said:
Not at all. I toggled it on but couldn't really work out how to use it and decided to write more instead.
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Might be worth considering. Even something as simple as a {if Raped = true} conditional statement would allow you to funnel branches into one chapter. So for instance, such as the plot where the older guy drives her home, you could have single 'home' chapter that you can direct multiple paths to and use the conditional if/else statements to determine what the reader sees.

It doesn't cut down on writing, but the benefit is that it forces the story to go tall rather than wide.
 
I don't think at the moment the story is wide enough to be worth that, but thanks for the explanation. Tbh if it gets involved enough I might port the whole thing into Twine instead.
 
DeviantChap said:
I don't think at the moment the story is wide enough to be worth that, but thanks for the explanation. Tbh if it gets involved enough I might port the whole thing into Twine instead.
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Yeah, I agree and I already use twine to keep track of chapter paths. I just find the visual box layout a lot easier to navigate than the list format of the chapter map. In terms of game mode, Twine is also superior and you can do a lot of things with variables and conditional branches that you can't do here. If I could port anything from Twine to Chyoa, it'd probably be the <<switch>> mechanic for random outcomes. But what you don't get with twine is the live feedback of likes/comments on chapters. Partly that's a dopamine rush, but it's also good to know what readers are engaging with.
 
Help I think I just wrote a consensual sex scene in this story.

Sometimes (almost always) characters take a life of their own after a little while and I guess there's a version of events where two horny loner teenagers have fun having sex with each other.

Edit: This isn't actually a problem. I just find it funny.
 
Is there anything noticeably lacking from this story that people think might be good?

(besides good writing talent. Can't fake that one)
 
I absolutely love this story, which seems weird to say about a story entirely based around a young woman's life being ruined, but anyway >.> I think the writing is good and the scenes are very hot. I'm afraid I don't really have much in the way of criticism. I wait a bit in between reads to let more content build up and I don't think I've read any of the more recent additions as a result so not really sure what's new since I last read. I'll probably check it out again soon since it seems a lot has been added since my last read. I do like the addition of the epilogues. It's nice to have some sort of understanding of how this party ended up effecting the rest of her life.
 
TheLeherengin said:
I absolutely love this story, which seems weird to say about a story entirely based around a young woman's life being ruined, but anyway >.> I think the writing is good and the scenes are very hot. I'm afraid I don't really have much in the way of criticism. I wait a bit in between reads to let more content build up and I don't think I've read any of the more recent additions as a result so not really sure what's new since I last read. I'll probably check it out again soon since it seems a lot has been added since my last read. I do like the addition of the epilogues. It's nice to have some sort of understanding of how this party ended up effecting the rest of her life.
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Thanks. The epilogues are actually in large part thanks to BonusPhantom, who offered to write the preggers epilogue. Then I realised that treatment would go well with a few other places in the story and give an actual ending (and encourage me to write other parts of the story, damnit)
 
DeviantChap said:
Thanks. The epilogues are actually in large part thanks to BonusPhantom, who offered to write the preggers epilogue. Then I realised that treatment would go well with a few other places in the story and give an actual ending (and encourage me to write other parts of the story, damnit)
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I did remember that someone else had suggested it, but couldn't remember where. So, couldn't give proper credit. Thank you BonusPhantom.
 
I'm tryna plan the path where Clara goes to the older man's house as a reluctant prostitute, and have him lay out some outfits for her to put on. Any ideas for what she could end up wearing? (I mean besides the obvious schoolgirl outfit)
 
DeviantChap said:
I'm tryna plan the path where Clara goes to the older man's house as a reluctant prostitute, and have him lay out some outfits for her to put on. Any ideas for what she could end up wearing? (I mean besides the obvious schoolgirl outfit)
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Ooh hmm... School girl uniform obviously as stated... Maybe cheerleader outfit? Some kind of halloween sexy outfit, like a sexy witch, or angel?
 
OK but I gotta narrow it down from many many options so let's see what people actually like.

Strawpoll time! POLL CLOSED

Edit: So far, the most eagerly-anticipated chapters in my story A Party Gone Wrong are the ones after she leaves the party in Chapter 3 lol
 
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As I gather, this is most readers' experience of the story
 

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