A story about a young blonde girl from Russia
- Thread starter Motease01
- Start date
It obviously hadn't been renovated since thirty years
to
It obviously hadn't been renovated in thirty years
and
waste piled up on the parking lot
and
waste piled up in the parking lot
Zingiber's suggestion could also be
Worried, Lilija was figuring how long her money would last.
Thast last one is just an added comma.
Really, I think what you've written would be perfectly fine in a post. Length-wise try for two at minimum and you should be fine, though more might be appreciated by readers, but it really depends on the scene.
to
It obviously hadn't been renovated in thirty years
and
waste piled up on the parking lot
and
waste piled up in the parking lot
Zingiber's suggestion could also be
Worried, Lilija was figuring how long her money would last.
Thast last one is just an added comma.
Really, I think what you've written would be perfectly fine in a post. Length-wise try for two at minimum and you should be fine, though more might be appreciated by readers, but it really depends on the scene.
Kaitou1412
Moderator
At this point I agree. The story has taken off and this thread is now used for help with editing and feedback. That's the criteria for Feedback, not Ideas.
Topic moved.