The alternate start with Zack's wandering eye toward Victoria contributing to Zack and Lisa breaking up seems totally compatible with Victoria thinking ill of him. The main start doesn't have as obvious a hook, but there are numerous possibilities. Victoria could have heard something second-hand via Ashley or Brandon that turned her off, or suffered a hidden injury like Chloe's body image issue. Zack's drunken indiscretion that cost him losing Lisa might have soured Victoria against him, especially if she were present at the party, or if that hadn't been the only episode of him taking poor care of himself. So yes, totally. What she'd make of it if Zack came on to her? Maybe just the cold shoulder. Maybe disappearing or having Heather fend him off. -Z.
Now that IS bold. I'd love to see how that plays out and where it comes from, so if you're pleased with it, I say post it, Cretan_Bull. I could see it as something Zack doesn't pick up on until Victoria just can't take it anymore. "You're with Heather now? You really deserve each other, seeing as you both..."
Given how quick to judge she was in duskford's main thread after the party, and how fallacious, though understandable, her thinking can be in various threads, this is definitely not out of the question. We as authors know Zack has a poor habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time in his sex life, but to Victoria, he might be no better than unreformed Kurt. Kurt even acknowledges that in a thread. And Patzo's right, Zack may have a reputation similar to Heather's in her mind. (Frankly, I can see Kurt trying to use that to his advantage in the beginning.)
If I was the one writing the thread, I'd have Vicky hating only Zack, which would already create a few interesting situations. If she hated Heather as well, one would have to wonder what she's doing at the cabin at all, considering that, amidst seven people, she hates two (including the hostess) and never met one (Kurt). On another note, I'd just like to say I'm enjoying the hell out of the colaborative threads spanned by Zingiber's thread. Everyone's doing a really great job there.
In that universe, I'd strengthen her relationship with Gavin, and maybe as a way to convince him to go and have fun (given how recluse he can be), she decides to follow along. She already knows Ashley and Brandon too, so it wouldn't be a complete bust for her. She may feel ambivalent toward Heather if anything though, because she might be able to respect her for who she is because she's outwardly honest with herself, as opposed to Zack who she'd see as pretending to be nice to get her in the sack. And oh yeah, that's been great guys! Let's try and keep it up!
Yeah, on the alternate universe Cretan_Bull14 created, Zack can easily be mistaken by a jock if you don't know him well, maybe Victoria's hate for him can come from that. I agree that ambivalence is the way to go regarding Heather.
I had an idea that could be interesting, to have the characters camping in the woods near the cabin! I'll do with only Zack and Taylor on my main thread, but in an alternate, it could be fun to send everyone.
That might be a great alternative in the "ultra-compact cabin" threads -- maybe some of the group bring tents and opt for sleeping outside than in, which could generate some interesting scenes and, shall we say, shadow puppets from inside said tents
So I just finished my Ashley-Kurt sequence in my alternate timeline (Where Kurt finds her in his bedroom) and I'm all kinds of confused about what I created. My original plan was to have Ashley beg Kurt to fuck her, have the scene and be done with it. But half way through writing the "Beg" scene I had her tell the story of getting taken behind the boulder and it occurred to me, Ashley wouldn't beg. So I cut that scene short and moved to the next one. And that scene has all kinds of stuff in it I never planned. If you haven't read it, read it before you continue onto my thoughts. I'll admit I was not thinking any of this as I wrote the scene. The problem is I think Ashley and Kurt might actually have feelings for each other in that scene, and if that's the case I kind of want to see that explored, by me or someone else. The key to that whole thing is that Kurt wants to "fuck her like one of his sluts" but when she refuses to beg he can't do it. So when he pushes her out of the bed he does it reluctantly. When he says "Aren't you glad you won?" he's not mad that he lost, but that she has proven herself as more than just "another slut." And when she leaves the bed, she's hurt because she does want to fuck him. But even though she claims she wants to be fucked like a "slut" her strength won't let her reduce herself to that. So in the first scene you have two strong wills battling. In scene 2 Ashley takes control and Kurt is left powerless. That reverses in scene 3 and 4. Then in scene 5 when he takes her against the door, at that moment I see them as having returned to the strong wills they were in the 1st scene, but this time with respect for each other. Then as they get more playful before the second fuck I see the feelings emerging. Is that how it came across to you all? And are you interested in seeing this path continued? Certainly there are roadblocks- breaking up with Brandon and Kurt allowing himself to feel again after swearing he never would, that could make it interesting. I have no plans to ditch the main story, but this path has me more intrigued now.
I suspect they still don't *like* each other enough to be a good pair, and each of them is probably up to here (reaches up to eyebrows) with misplaced expectations and lacking any compensating "work it out" skills, but this might be an important encounter for the both of them that reveals more of their (grown-up?) selves. But maybe they'll give it a try. I can imagine Ashley running to someone (Heather? Victoria? Hannah via telephone?, all "AAAAHHH! I slept with Kurt and I LIKED IT!!!" or some other flavor of "WHO AM I AND WHAT DO I DO NOW?") while Kurt goes off to stalk around in the woods and try to figure out what he feels (Or maybe Heather will catch the strange look on his face and ask him.) It's nice when your characters start driving a little.
So, I'll tell you how I saw the scene, henrytemp. I'm not so sure about them having feelings for each other, I think Kurt gave what Ashley was craving for and she was receptive. On this line of threads, Ashley likes sex very much and she enjoyed when Brandon surprised her with stunts like the one at the beach, but it seemed that in the two years they have been together, Brandon settled and became less spontaneous, and Ashley misses that. So when Kurt appeared and was willing to just take her, she jumped at the opportunity of feeling what she had with Brandon again. As for the feelings part, you could elaborate from here, as you already hinted that Ashley became attracted to him the moment she saw him, or make Kurt start thinking too much about the encounter, wondering if he found a girl who likes sex as much as he does it, just the way he likes it. That said, I think it can be very interesting to continue developing this path, as well as your main story, which is just as good.
Well, rather than leaving a comment on every thread, holy shit. Those last few threads have been intense. Hot as flames. There's a spark there, for sure, but... We got into this in that first scene's comments a while back. I think Ashley likes guys who challenge her in some way, and while Brandon has become "safe," the fact that Kurt drives her up the wall is what makes him hot. I think you absolutely could write that as Ashley thinking she has more in common with Kurt than with Brandon, and that Kurt thinks she's "not like those other sluts," so they enter a relationship with each other. It would be great drama for all involved: a messy breakup between Ashley and Brandon, Heather chewing out Kurt for sabotaging them, Zack and Victoria's relationship tested by taking opposite sides, Chloe jealous of Ashley but unable to confide in a disapproving Gavin. Now, I definitely saw the two of them having fun and recognizing a sexually adventurous kindred spirit. I can see further Ashley/Kurt adventures happening, because even if they can't stand each other outside the bedroom, they understand each other in there. But! I don't know if Ashley and Kurt have enough in common to make such a relationship last: when the honeymoon ends and the sex slows, they'll have to have conversations about topics besides how much one wants to fuck the other. And then they'll have to walk away from those conversations not wanting to kill or hate fuck each other on the spot. It's a stretch, but the more you reform and "humanize" Kurt, the more I'd buy into it.
Patzo described the perfect situation for them, it's very true they'd have to find other things to do besides sex. So, what's probably more plausible for them is a hot, very intense fling, beginning on that Spring Break, maybe extending into the summer, but more than that would probably kill their relationship.
You know, the more I think about it, the more I think it could work. The big sticking points are: > Is Ashley sure in her relationship with Brandon? > Does Kurt see Ashley as someone he could care for? Because if she wants a boyfriend who's as steady, reliable, and caring as Brandon, but who also has Kurt's sexual ferocity; and if Kurt's willing to risk being hurt so he can connect with a girl again; yeah, I think they could make it work. Hell, even if Ashley just wants a fling on the side and Kurt likes secretly fucking other guys' girlfriends, they could keep an affair running because they're on the same wavelength about their expectations. Either way, if they both want the same thing and are upfront about it, you can get a lot of mileage out of some very complicated feelings they have for each other.
So, I'm still working on structuring the future of my main story, like I've said on my latest thread, but I think I have the main plot element decided. How do you guys feel about a story with a sorta threeway relationship between Zack, Victoria and Heather?
Well, I was kind of pulling for Chloe turning both her boy friends into boyfriends, but the main story isn't heading that way. I like Zack/Victoria/Heather. It will be an interesting background piece as you structure your "Back To The Lake" follow-up. I presume you're aiming at Zack in the middle of the 'V' given the progression to this point in the story (Wikipedia: polyamory terminology), though maybe I missed something and it'll be Heather. Coming into the story I could kind of see any of them, really, as the center point. Victoria as To Know Her Is To Love Her. Heather as She Knows What She Wants. Zack as The Kid In The Candy Store. Or as three different committees of two, to surprise or challenge, or have a "why oh why does X...?" discussion about the other one. -Z.
Finally decided that the multi-ending copy/paste format wasn't really made for chyoa, so I'll focus on just one path for now but with a possible return to one or two of the other possible outcomes later on. I simply didn't feel like I was getting anywhere with that kind of work, and it really makes a mess of the co-writing aspect of the site. ; ) So, I deleted most of the posts from the site, but saved the non-repeated ones on my computer. No need to panic about it! ; )
