At the Cabin
- Thread starter johnhoftb
- Start date
Zingiber
Really Really Experienced
I imagine one of the girls or even Gavin might have a karaoke app on their phone.
Seems like a good bet that the cabin would have one if it got used for more than just Heather's family vacations.
Yarkoz
Really Really Experienced
True, true. I can see Hannah having one because... Hannah, and if Gavin doesn't have one on his laptop, downloading one would be easy. And exactly, I believe Robert would have one anyway there because I feel that he uses it for company retreats, and nothing breaks the ice among board members than a drunken night of singing (and aftershow "parties," but I digress -- sort of).
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
I was actually thinking about that a few days ago, a scene with Zack taking up the microphone to sing a love song to one of the girls, lol.
Well, in my head, there's a shelf by the wall where the TV is mounted. On that shelf, we have family portraits, books, a few trinkets and an entertainment system which includes a karaoke machine.
Yarkoz
Really Really Experienced
I was thinking the opposite actually! Heather musters up the gumption to declare her emotional intentions toward Zack, or she just declares a curious, yet strong, interest in him. I think the latter would work best in the more lighthearted threads (and at the moment, it fits better with what's in my mind). I was thinking that with Peter toward Hannah, and she decides on one final night with her ex (during which fun secrets are revealed).
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
That can work too! Heather doing a stunning performance, singing to Zack while doing a sexy dance for him. Peter to Hannah can be fun as well, lol, curious about those fun secrets.
Cretan_Bull14
Really Experienced
Well, after months and months of family health issues, other people's bullshit, and my own personal demons rearing their ugly heads, I'm finally writing again. I'm continuing Zack, Heather, and Vicky's discussion in the hot tub, as well as Zack and Heather back in town. Glad to see everyone else is still tossing ideas around. Can't wait to read about some of these karaoke performances.
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
Glad to know you're back, Cretan_Bull14, your scenes are shaping up to be really awesome, especially the one with Zack and Heather back in town, I didn't anticipate that voyeur twist at all! As for the karaoke idea, I'll probably do it if no one picks it up; if not here, than on Azure Rocks Chronicles.
Yarkoz
Really Really Experienced
By all means, if you want to start it in At the Cabin, Duskford. Again, I was thinking it would be more appropriate in a light-hearted fun threads, but if it's in Azure Rocks, that can be arranged. The scenes most fleshed out in my heads are of various characters singing their songs and the sexy aftermaths.
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
I think it fits a more light-hearted tone as well, Yarkoz, plus, I don't know if I'd be able to fit it in the Chronicles. I've started a new path on At The Cabin for when I want to unwind for a bit from ARC, a path that I intend to be on the lighter side; I'll see if I can work the idea in it, but if anyone wants to try it out before I do, be my guest.
Cretan_Bull14
Really Experienced
If a karaoke battle breaks out, in addition to the seduction song and the silly duet, there has to be someone who takes a great song and totally ruins it. 
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
If a karaoke battle breaks out, in addition to the seduction song and the silly duet, there has to be someone who takes a great song and totally ruins it.
Totally! I was thinking about having all the girls team up for a sexy performance, dancing and driving the guys crazy.
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
Got to say I'm having fun writing my new path for At The Cabin. It'll allow me to work some angles I won't be able to on Azure Rocks Chronicles. As a matter of fact, in ARC, the cabin part will be very different from any version of At The Cabin. I'll probably try to have a system where I write for the two stories on alternate weeks.
I've been reading this story "The Game" It has a good setup of a strip poker but the story map is huge, many dead ends and the story hasn't really developed. that said the author has been plugging away and I'm sure in the end it will be a great story. It has had me thinking about an idea that's been bouncing around my head for a while, I mention it here b/c I'd thought about doing it with these characters. the idea was to set up a game of spin the bottle between the characters, but to truly make it random ie use a number generator or something and just go with what happens and write the story as it plays out.
On top of that was thinking about a points system, where interactions between characters would build to allow for more intimate interactions. in other words if 20 scenes in gavin spins chloe for the first time they won't immediately go at it even if other characters are. but say Zach and heather have had a bunch of interactions throughout the game they would. Could also have a starting point where say Brandon and Ashley would have a high score and any interaction would be sexual and maybe zach/chloe have a negative score where it would take more time.
thoughts? does this sound interesting at all?
On top of that was thinking about a points system, where interactions between characters would build to allow for more intimate interactions. in other words if 20 scenes in gavin spins chloe for the first time they won't immediately go at it even if other characters are. but say Zach and heather have had a bunch of interactions throughout the game they would. Could also have a starting point where say Brandon and Ashley would have a high score and any interaction would be sexual and maybe zach/chloe have a negative score where it would take more time.
thoughts? does this sound interesting at all?
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
Coming here to share with you guys a reflection I've been having about an aspect of the story for the past few days. I think I figured out why it's so much difficult to write a multi-threaded storyline with Zack/Victoria as the main pairing as opposed to a Zack/Heather one. The dynamic between Zack and Heather proved to be "spicier", with them teasing one another and Heather's reluctance about falling in love and having a boyfriend. Whereas Zack and Victoria play out like he's friendzoned and she's still trying to figure out what she wants, and it's very hard to make the story evolve from that or to replicate a dynamic as interesting as the one that the pairing of Zack/Heather provide. That is, without an unforeseen, abrupt event taking place to bring them together, like the cave with the bear suits from my old storyline, but even that feels forced, to me at least.
One possible solution to this might be changing the status quo between Zack and Victoria a bit. I can't remember who it was now, but someone suggested that it could be an interesting thing to have Victoria hating Zack somehow and him having to work to change that opinion of hers. That'd be just one possibility.
I'd like to hear my fellow writers and readers' thoughts about this, if it isn't too much trouble.
One possible solution to this might be changing the status quo between Zack and Victoria a bit. I can't remember who it was now, but someone suggested that it could be an interesting thing to have Victoria hating Zack somehow and him having to work to change that opinion of hers. That'd be just one possibility.
I'd like to hear my fellow writers and readers' thoughts about this, if it isn't too much trouble.
Zingiber
Really Really Experienced
One possible solution to this might be changing the status quo between Zack and Victoria a bit. I can't remember who it was now, but someone suggested that it could be an interesting thing to have Victoria hating Zack somehow and him having to work to change that opinion of hers. That'd be just one possibility.
I'd like to hear my fellow writers and readers' thoughts about this, if it isn't too much trouble.
Let's see if I can recall the general Zack/Victoria dynamic:
- Zack thinks she's beautiful and smart and amazing and wants to tell her he has a crush on her.
- Victoria has had a history of bad boyfriends and may hold on to disappointment, heartache, and hesitation; she is friendly but keeps things light.
- Victoria's focus is academics, where she's found consistent success and rewards; staying out of relationships plays to her strength here and keeps her out of trouble.
Here are some angles that might get them to open up more to each other.
- Victoria talks with Zack or with a female friend about her "bad boyfriend" pattern and gains an insight into where it's coming from, and that Zack doesn't fit that pattern.
- They discover a common interest they hadn't known of (teammates for trivia, and they're both obsessive on a particular category?), or else they have some other reason (talking about college plans?) that leads to a deeper discussion of what they like that leads to Victoria re-evaluating Zack.
- Victoria watches Zack's interactions with Chloe or another girl at the cabin which shows him in a different light -- maybe demonstrating that Zack is a good and loyal friend, but doing something in a context that strikes Victoria as sexy or attractive in a way she hasn't noticed before.
- "Late night truth telling": They're the last two awake and just open up to each other about their thoughts, fears, desires, and future plans, which (again) reveals things they have more closely in common.
- Pillow talk? After everyone else hooks up (Brandon/Ashley, Gavin/Chloe, and even Kurt/Heather, with some alcohol involved), Victoria decides that Zack is a safe guy for her first time, and what happens at the cabin can stay there. But after an awkward but sweet first time, they end up having a deeper talk.
- Zack is worried about Gavin or Chloe and asks Victoria for her thoughts; they end up coming round to talking about themselves/each other.
- Victoria pulls Zack up short for being a jerk to someone else at the cabin; he says part of his frustration is from his feelings for her, he doesn't know how to approach her.
Duskford
CHYOA Guru
Thanks for the quick answer, Zingiber. The reason I've been having those thoughts is that I want to write a storyline spanning through five or six days to be my definitive path for At the Cabin, and I'm leaning towards making it a Zack/Victoria story, but being a definitive branch, I figure that I should go ahead with what works (Zack/Heather at this time). However, I want to make sure that Zack/Victoria definitely can't make for an interesting story before making such a decision.
About the angles you mentioned, the common interest sound like the best option, and I already had something in that sense in my old storyline when I had them discovering that both loved mystery novels. I've been thinking of introducing a mystery for them to bond over, but a less serious one than the bear suits; like going into the park's gift shop and buying a fake map to a treasure supposedly buried by one of Azure Rocks' founders, and then, in the middle of it, finding the true map or something.
But the main issue, in my opinion, is the dynamic of their interactions and dialogues, it doesn't seem to have the same spark that Zack/Heather have. Well, I'll retreat into my cave to think more about this.