At the Cabin

Personally I am tired of the Zack/Heather coupling. I just feel most of the paths, especially longer ones are about them, also most who is still active. Heather was never my favorite but lately i have been uninterested in an arc with her and Zack. So hopefully you can come up with some ideas for Victoria. I would have helped you, but unfortunately i dont have creativity and therefor i am not a writer. These are just my opinion though, and I will probably still read the story whatever you do.
 
Keeperodd said:
Personally I am tired of the Zack/Heather coupling. I just feel most of the paths, especially longer ones are about them, also most who is still active. Heather was never my favorite but lately i have been uninterested in an arc with her and Zack. So hopefully you can come up with some ideas for Victoria. I would have helped you, but unfortunately i dont have creativity and therefor i am not a writer. These are just my opinion though, and I will probably still read the story whatever you do.
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I know what you mean, Zack/Victoria were the original couple when I started the story, and then Heather ended up stealing the spotlight, lol. but that's why I want to write a storyline with Victoria, to honor my original planning, plans that somehow never ended up seeing the light of day. ;)
 
Alright, so I'm gonna head the "original planning" way. It's gonna be a story featuring Zack/Victoria, Gavin/Heather and Brandon/Ashley. The difference in this thread is that I'm going to try and treat Gavin and Brandon as protagonists beside Zack, and then focus on their sexual adventures, seeing that even if those pairings above are their endgames pairings, they'll get involved with other people both before and after the happy ending.

Sharing the focus between Zack, Gavin and Brandon is a way of straightening out the big picture of the story. Before, I wanted to give all the plots to Zack, and that made it difficult to plan the story. By splitting the plots between the three of them, I think the story will flow way better.
 
The Vicky hating Zack arc was my idea. I started it off with Heather and Zack going at it in front of everybody, and just never got around to finishing it. As for Vicky. I just always saw her as going for someone more like Gavin.
 
Cretan_Bull14 said:
The Vicky hating Zack arc was my idea. I started it off with Heather and Zack going at it in front of everybody, and just never got around to finishing it. As for Vicky. I just always saw her as going for someone more like Gavin.
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Oh, yeah, I remember now! Epic scene, by the way. I'm thinking about not going for actual hate, but Vicky becoming a bit intrigued and weirded out by that scene of Zack rubbing sunscreen on Heather (obviously before the branch where everyone starts going at it on the dock, lol).

To be honest, I think Zack and Gavin can be effectively paired off with every one of the female characters, depending on the angle the writer wants to go for. In the case of the thread I want to write, I want to explore a few bonus scenes after they return from the cabin, in a Azure Rocks Chronicles kind of vibe, and I think Gavin, once he becomes more confident, can keep up with Heather's style more effectively than Zack, even going for threesomes/moresomes. Zack idealizes love, making the three other girls more adequate for him (I totally want to write a Zack/Ashley story after I finish the Zack/Victoria one). Of course, that doesn't mean one can't make Heather turn monogamous for Zack, you do it quite well in your threads, Cretan_Bull14.
 
Here to give an update regarding the new thread I want to write; well, after a little more than a week, the planning hasn't advanced past the initial stage. There's a template I want to follow for this thread, which is, something happens between Zack/girl that draws her attention towards him, then the attraction develops mutually, and finally, they get together at the end of the trip; the problem is, as far as my writing skills go, I wasn't able to make this work with the Zack/Victoria pairing without the story becoming too bland and uninteresting, like a pair of secondary characters. The only way I could make it work was straying a lot from the template I mentioned above, like the two of them disappearing in the forest together very early into the story and having to find their way out by themselves. But, as I said, I want to stick to the cabin template. It may not be what the fans of the Zack/Vicky pairing wanted to hear, but I'll have to put it aside for the time being.

That said, I think I was able to come up with a good story featuring the Zack/Ashley pairing in the template I talked about before, with plenty of plot twists, sex scenes and fun moments. I expect to start writing over the next few days.
 
duskford said:
Here to give an update regarding the new thread I want to write; well, after a little more than a week, the planning hasn't advanced past the initial stage. There's a template I want to follow for this thread, which is, something happens between Zack/girl that draws her attention towards him, then the attraction develops mutually, and finally, they get together at the end of the trip; the problem is, as far as my writing skills go, I wasn't able to make this work with the Zack/Victoria pairing without the story becoming too bland and uninteresting, like a pair of secondary characters. The only way I could make it work was straying a lot from the template I mentioned above, like the two of them disappearing in the forest together very early into the story and having to find their way out by themselves. But, as I said, I want to stick to the cabin template. It may not be what the fans of the Zack/Vicky pairing wanted to hear, but I'll have to put it aside for the time being.

That said, I think I was able to come up with a good story featuring the Zack/Ashley pairing in the template I talked about before, with plenty of plot twists, sex scenes and fun moments. I expect to start writing over the next few days.
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Best of luck to you! If you can't keep on updating Ms. Todd's storyline, just tell me and I'll take the stick from you if you're going to be wrapped up in your own story! :)
 
Had a last minute thought about my new thread, thinking about changing the concept a bit and making it a 3-day long, weekend trip instead of setting it on Spring Break, to keep things a bit more straightforward. I can't remember who it was, maybe it wasn't even here on CHYOA, but someone once said to me that it was a bit unrealistic that the characters' parents would allow them, a group of teenagers, to spend an entire week (or two weeks as it was at first) at a cabin outside town without supervision. Well, I'll write a few threads across the Story Map while I think about this.
 
duskford said:
Had a last minute thought about my new thread, thinking about changing the concept a bit and making it a 3-day long, weekend trip instead of setting it on Spring Break, to keep things a bit more straightforward. I can't remember who it was, maybe it wasn't even here on CHYOA, but someone once said to me that it was a bit unrealistic that the characters' parents would allow them, a group of teenagers, to spend an entire week (or two weeks as it was at first) at a cabin outside town without supervision. Well, I'll write a few threads across the Story Map while I think about this.
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I suppose partly it would swing on what Heather's dad thought of Heather's suitability as responsible family representative and host.
 
Doesn't seem that much of a problem to me. I guess it's easier for parents to supervise their kids in the age of cellphones, but "teens on their own in the woods" is still a strong concept. If anything, you could say everyone lied to their parents that Heather's dad would be checking in on them, or that Heather lied to them about it and they told their parents while thinking it was true.
 
Zingiber said:
I suppose partly it would swing on what Heather's dad thought of Heather's suitability as responsible family representative and host.
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Patzo said:
Doesn't seem that much of a problem to me. I guess it's easier for parents to supervise their kids in the age of cellphones, but "teens on their own in the woods" is still a strong concept. If anything, you could say everyone lied to their parents that Heather's dad would be checking in on them, or that Heather lied to them about it and they told their parents while thinking it was true.
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It was just a commentary to illustrate my point. The real reason would be to have a "hardcore story" of sorts; in the threads where the trip lasts for more than 5 days, there's too much 'slow burn', and the sex scenes take more time to happen. In a three-chapter story, things can move in a faster pace and get to the end sooner while still keeping the relevant development and scenes.
 
duskford said:
It was just a commentary to illustrate my point. The real reason would be to have a "hardcore story" of sorts; in the threads where the trip lasts for more than 5 days, there's too much 'slow burn', and the sex scenes take more time to happen. In a three-chapter story, things can move in a faster pace and get to the end sooner while still keeping the relevant development and scenes.
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Yup. Slow burn is a real thing, in fact my entire story is pretty much a slow burn from the Tutorial onward.

Both Duskford and everyone against the whole "longer than a few days" crowd have good points.

Duskford is right. Slow burns suck if they're not handled properly. My story is a controlled slow burn with huge outbursts of flame inbetween, but it's still a slow burn. They take time to get to the good parts (and let's be honest here, not very many people are going to go to a story, "finish" and then pick back up where they left off.), and even then waiting for the good parts suck too.

However Patzo and Zingiber are also right. Having more time to do more things with more girls is good -- and can easily be rectified given context. This allows the whole experience to be made even better if people want to contribute onward. If the story ends within a few days -- people might not have time to add on anywhere they see fit.

There's a slight difference in ideals here -- I really think that Duskford has a more "Novella" type feel for the story (3 chapters-ish) where he plans on right now, and everyone who believes that it being longer is still feasible believes that it has the potential to be a novel. (Longer chapters, lots of build-up)

It's like running a marathon or a 100M sprint. Both are great for cardio -- but which one do you like more, Duskford?

It's all up to you Duskford -- I love your writing and "At The Cabin" was actually one of the first stories I'd read on here. Whatever you do with it I'm okay with, but there is pros and cons to both side of this coin. Again I could be totally misinterpreting everything here, but that's how I feel about it.
 
Kobe said:
However Patzo and Zingiber are also right. Having more time to do more things with more girls is good -- and can easily be rectified given context. This allows the whole experience to be made even better if people want to contribute onward. If the story ends within a few days -- people might not have time to add on anywhere they see fit.

There's a slight difference in ideals here -- I really think that Duskford has a more "Novella" type feel for the story (3 chapters-ish) where he plans on right now, and everyone who believes that it being longer is still feasible believes that it has the potential to be a novel. (Longer chapters, lots of build-up)
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I'm a bit of an episode kid; I have an easier time jumping in and putting in a thread here, a few threads there, than actually carrying forward a plot. (If you look at my stories, I'm trying, but the plot arcs tend to wander much more often than they complete). So the longer arcs give me more places to fill in bits.
 
Kobe said:
Yup. Slow burn is a real thing, in fact my entire story is pretty much a slow burn from the Tutorial onward.

Both Duskford and everyone against the whole "longer than a few days" crowd have good points.

Duskford is right. Slow burns suck if they're not handled properly. My story is a controlled slow burn with huge outbursts of flame inbetween, but it's still a slow burn. They take time to get to the good parts (and let's be honest here, not very many people are going to go to a story, "finish" and then pick back up where they left off.), and even then waiting for the good parts suck too.

However Patzo and Zingiber are also right. Having more time to do more things with more girls is good -- and can easily be rectified given context. This allows the whole experience to be made even better if people want to contribute onward. If the story ends within a few days -- people might not have time to add on anywhere they see fit.

There's a slight difference in ideals here -- I really think that Duskford has a more "Novella" type feel for the story (3 chapters-ish) where he plans on right now, and everyone who believes that it being longer is still feasible believes that it has the potential to be a novel. (Longer chapters, lots of build-up)

It's like running a marathon or a 100M sprint. Both are great for cardio -- but which one do you like more, Duskford?

It's all up to you Duskford -- I love your writing and "At The Cabin" was actually one of the first stories I'd read on here. Whatever you do with it I'm okay with, but there is pros and cons to both side of this coin. Again I could be totally misinterpreting everything here, but that's how I feel about it.
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Zingiber said:
I'm a bit of an episode kid; I have an easier time jumping in and putting in a thread here, a few threads there, than actually carrying forward a plot. (If you look at my stories, I'm trying, but the plot arcs tend to wander much more often than they complete). So the longer arcs give me more places to fill in bits.
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Both of you are right, I think the solution is to have a story spanning five days (chapters) instead. That way it won't feel rushed or a slow drag, with plenty of spots for anyone to jump in with a different take.
 
The problem with changing the length of the trip at this point, is that some arcs are either close to that five day threshold or are already past it. My main thread is a prime example: Zack and Heather's date on the island happens on day four of the trip. They'll be returning to the cabin on day five just in time for Hannah and Taylor to arrive on day six. And I've got threads written almost up to the end of the original two weeks.

Now, for the people who don't mind the trip length being shortened, there are several ways to work this in. One way is have the trip end earlier than expected because Robert needs the cabin for a business meeting with some important clients. It could be something that is expected and the teens know going in that they'll have less time to do what needs to be done. Or it could be a surprise, and things get left unsaid or put on hold.
 
Cretan_Bull14 said:
The problem with changing the length of the trip at this point, is that some arcs are either close to that five day threshold or are already past it. My main thread is a prime example: Zack and Heather's date on the island happens on day four of the trip. They'll be returning to the cabin on day five just in time for Hannah and Taylor to arrive on day six. And I've got threads written almost up to the end of the original two weeks.

Now, for the people who don't mind the trip length being shortened, there are several ways to work this in. One way is have the trip end earlier than expected because Robert needs the cabin for a business meeting with some important clients. It could be something that is expected and the teens know going in that they'll have less time to do what needs to be done. Or it could be a surprise, and things get left unsaid or put on hold.
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It wouldn't affect the threads already written, I'd never do that. This hypothetical five-day trip would be an alternate beginning, like the one with 12 characters or the one umbra started, 'Redux'.

One thing you mentioned is in my plans, Robert needing the cabin early. It'd have been planned as a week-long trip, but then it would get shortened to five days.
 
As I drop in randomly, can I just say that I really like Boomer97's current party storyline? His Gavin/Heather dynamic is adorbs, and I think feeds into the complexity that Heather's character can evoke and the implications of the broader "coming of age" theme in "At the Cabin." Sure, she's the head cheerleader and all, but she's a gamer and takes a genuine interest in Gavin's mechanical prowess, and his inhibitory resolve just seems to melt. (The alcohol did help that along, but still.) I'm looking forward to seeing more of the night!
 
Yarkoz said:
As I drop in randomly, can I just say that I really like Boomer97's current party storyline? His Gavin/Heather dynamic is adorbs, and I think feeds into the complexity that Heather's character can evoke and the implications of the broader "coming of age" theme in "At the Cabin." Sure, she's the head cheerleader and all, but she's a gamer and takes a genuine interest in Gavin's mechanical prowess, and his inhibitory resolve just seems to melt. (The alcohol did help that along, but still.) I'm looking forward to seeing more of the night!
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boomer97's whole chain of threads have been really creative and well written, as you said, his take on the Gavin/Heather pairing is one the best I've seen around here. The way he creates that playful tension between them, and with Taylor lurking around, it's a must read for everyone.

His party set up was so interesting, I went ahead and created an alternate branch to test a few dynamics before tackling a new storyline.
 
Alright, one thing I was wondering while reading boomer97's threads and writing an alternate path for it, what do you guys think about Zack/Lisa as an endgame pairing? He genuinely liked her while they were dating, the only problem being the preexisting crush on Victoria and the incident on Ashley's party that served as reason for a break up. I think that, under the right circumstances, they could get back together. Lisa can be funny, passionate and definitely is one hell of a good fighter.
 
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