Bully feedback

G

Gorean

Virgin
Hi guys, I made this account a while back but never ended up posting anything until recently. Some of you might have seen a story I've been working on named Bully. It's a Non-consent story so it won't be to everyone's taste but it's based in a free use world where you're a high school bully who torments your female classmates through a whole spectrum of abuse.

If you have read it, could you be kind and leave me some feedback here about what you think of it? I'm also open for suggestions as to where I could take the story. Also, I've set the story to private, not fully knowing what that meant, is there anyway to change that to moderated as I would love to read what other writers come up with?

Thanks :)

https://chyoa.com/story/Bully.21335
 
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Hey Gorean,
So not had a chance to read it all but there are a couple of things I've picked up.

The perspective seems to change from POV to third person on the first chapter and on the third chapter of the head girl branch.

That's all I have so far but I like he premise of the story, the only other thing and this is just me, unless the pictures get really hot, I would prefer to read what she looks like than have the potential of different images with different models for the same girl depict what you want. That's just a personal preference though.
 
I appreciate your help doadventures, will take a look at the perspective, it's met to be all in third person.

Might change the picture of the head girl branch to just be Dani Daniels although the issue is certain scenes later on is going require the use of different models just because of the range of fetishes that I want to add. I suppose I could not include images beyond the introduction of characters but I feel that the images do add something and also lessens the workload for me in terms of how easy it is to describe something. That being said, the model swaps can be distracting.

What do other people think about this?
 
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