Caverns & Taverns

[Darth_Halford]

So, I'm probably way past due being here, but this story is actually my first forray into creative writing. 9 months and almost 200 chapters later, I think I did an at least salvageable job, but I'm looking for some best practices and areas to improve.

Specifically, I'm hoping somebody may have some ideas to expand on some narratives that are a little short. Namely, the Orc Sorcerer kinda had a good start, but I completely lost where I wanted to go with that, and have no sense of how to get it back. Also, the Tiefling Rogue is just there as a placeholder. I had the idea of having be an Evil character, just to be a break in pace and tone from the others, but I don't know that I know how or really even want to go down that route (noncon is a huge dealbreaker for me)

 

[MidbossMan]

I'm way overdue for reading more of this one, but I like it a lot. I've been especially fond of the elven bard storyline where she meets a sullen orc; as you go further into it, a lot of locations and an interesting plotline are established, the kind of thing one would want to read even outside of a porn story.

There is a place or two that may benefit from some more proofreading; of course, everybody has that. I get around some of it by having my brother as co-owner on stories; he edits my chapters to clean up for him a bit. If you know somebody like that who reads your story religiously, you could ask for their assistance. I'd be happy to do the same as I read or just message you small things, if that's something you'd appreciate. If you'd rather I not nitpick, that's understandable too.

As for advice, I'll try to give those routes a read after I finish the one I'm on!

 

[insertnamehere]

I agree with MidbossMan regarding proofreading. Additionally:

Firstly, your story has gained a decent reputation on the site already. I'm sure most on the forum would recognise the name Caverns & Taverns, at least. That's certainly something to be proud of.

Your writing quality is above average for the site. You employ correct grammar and structure your paragraphs in a sensible manner. It's clear that you've actually graduated seventh grade English, which is more than some CHYOA writers can say. In other words, you very obviously care about the quality of your work. That atttitude will take you a long way.

What you could use, in addition to a good proofread, is further editing. In places, your prose is unnecessarily clunky, even though it gets the main point across. For instance, "The last place you remember yourself being is shaky..." initially reads as though the character came from a place called Shaky; a better way would be, "Your memories of the last place you visited are shaky..." Another example is, "You stand away from the mirror in order for all of your large frame to be seen in it," could become, "You stand away from the mirror in order to see all of your large frame." Try to avoid using vague phrases such as the, "... to be seen in it," unless you're trying to hide information from the reader, or you're speaking generally.

The way you've structured the story makes it seem as though it's not one story, but eight totally different ones (I'm not sure if there's any in-universe connection). This is a great format if you're trying to attract other authors, and with a setting like this, it's only a matter of time. What this means is that the story might seem disorganised or random to passing readers, but that's a natural consequence of the CHYOA format and there's not much you can do about it.

I haven't read all of the threads, and most of those I've read in the past have since been updated, but it seems you've included healthy amounts of conflict and plot development. This shows that you pay attention to not just the nature of the erotic content, but its context. An engaging story-based framework for sex scenes is the difference between a fleeting piece of porn and a long-lasting creative project, so in that regard, you're performing well.

Caverns & Taverns has a great deal of potential and already does many things well. If you want to try and polish the work you've already published, then I would recommend starting with cleaning up your prose.

 

[Darth_Halford]

I did initially mention in the story's advert/description that it was an anthology, but after some time it just didn't seem like that really "sold" the story.

I'm glad the actual plot of the stories is received so well, because I tend to have this fear that most readers just want to get straight to the porny-bits and will log off immediately after that itch gets scratched, and therefore, what I'm doing is "wrong" or "counter intuitive". I also have this fear that I can't write sex that well, and that I sure as hell can't write anything in the erotic world that hasn't already been done. If I can create a story or fantasy world that seems relatively new and interesting, than not being the most imaginative, provacative writer can be forgiven.