Debauchery is Underrated

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by CurvyLinesEverywhere, May 14, 2022.

  1. CurvyLinesEverywhere

    CurvyLinesEverywhere Really Experienced

    Story link: Debauchery Is Underrated
    Loosely based on: A New World! Your Party of Hopeless Hotties and the cerebral MMO isekai anime Log Horizon
    (Hopeless Hotties clearly having been inspired by the comedy JRPG isekai anime Konosuba)

    In other words, this CHYOA is a LitRPG Character-Insert Fanfic featuring the MC of an MMO isekai anime inserted into the world of an isekai IF that's a thinly-disguised fanfic of a parody JRPG isekai anime.

    The fact that I just typed that sentence gives me life.

    For real though, it's a story about a master strategist dominating a fantasy setting full of self-defeating hot chicks. In any genre other than Isekai porn, that would probably be pretty a boring Mary Sue of a read, and on any website other than this one, it would probably struggle to find an audience. Gods, I love you people.
     
    Last edited: May 16, 2022
  2. CurvyLinesEverywhere

    CurvyLinesEverywhere Really Experienced

    Real talk: Think I should make the action in Chapter 26.1 more explicit?
     
  3. TheLowKing

    TheLowKing Really Really Experienced

    Let me preface this by saying I've not read Hopeless Hotties, and am not really into isekai, or even fanfic in general.

    I'm up to chapter 14 and I'm enjoying it so far! I like our clever protagonist and the way he manipulates people into thinking what he wants them to think. THe first proper sex scene was hot too, though I don't think Shiroe needed to feel quite so guilty about what happened. Niki sure doesn't seem to have minded, so no harm, no foul, right?

    I think he does need at least one weakness, though. It might be interesting to see one of his ingenious plans falls flat because he failed to notice something small but important, requiring his party (I'm assuming Niki won't be his only companion) to step in.
     
  4. CurvyLinesEverywhere

    CurvyLinesEverywhere Really Experienced

    I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying it, because that means that whatever it is I'm doing right, it can survive my deviation from canon.

    Oddly enough, the guilt is one of Shiroe's character flaws. One of his greatest fears is that his own arrogance will hurt the people he loves. This causes him to strive to keep his own ego in check. Self-solving problem, right? Not really. It makes him slow and methodical to a fault. When his plans do fail, he course-corrects, but a bigger problem is the opportunity cost borne of his caution. A reckless opponent taking bigger risks could, theoretically, outpace him. Moreover, his goal is not necessarily to succeed, but to create the space in which his friends can succeed. It's a weirdly indirect and subtle version of the power fantasy at the heart of most of the isekai genre. Making him a kinkster actually kinda screws with that dynamic. I am frankly not smart enough to write him properly, and every time his straightlaced approach slams into the slapstick comedy world of Konosuba/Hopeless Hotties, both elements are made weaker for it. I'm doing it anyway, because Darkness deserved a competent top, dammit.

    If you want to, you could disable the game and jump to 26.1 and see if you feel like you wanted more than I gave you.
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2022
  5. TheLowKing

    TheLowKing Really Really Experienced

    Hm, yeah, I think it could with some more, well, debauchery, I guess? It's clear sex has happened, but as a reader I get very little insight into the specifics. The Ginny/Pepper scene felt like a bigger payoff.
     
  6. CurvyLinesEverywhere

    CurvyLinesEverywhere Really Experienced

    Debauchery Was Overstated :p