Friends

Baumwoll

Baumwoll

Virgin
Hey, I'm the writer of "Friends" https://chyoa.com/story/Friends.10933

I'm just looking for feedback on my writing. Like, is it easy to read, understandable? Am I missing important things I should describe or add to the story?

If you don't know anything specific, just hit me with anything and I'll see if it helps me. I do not need new ideas though :)

Thanks in advance and happy reading!
 
I have to admit that i did not read past the introduction chapter! It just didn't make click.
In my opinion the introduction is to short, does't give exactly many details about the main character, and no details at all about his "friends", who are probably the main focus of the story. It does not inspire me to read on.

That's probably sad for me, as it looks to be a fine story in the making, that one should definitely give a try: 42 chapters, more than 10 likes per chapter, 260 Favorites, two other authors who have contributed several chapters to your story already.

So that would be my suggestion: Rewrite or expand the Introduction, perhaps give a short teaser about one or several friends, something that gets me on the hook and makes me want to know more about them, so that i actually want to read on ;-)
 
Thank you!
I have to admit, the introduction is weak. I just didn't know whatelse to write since every path from there on is basically it's own story.
But I will try to think of something! Thanks again!
 
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