"Happy Maid"

Javalar

Javalar

Really Experienced
Hi there,

I am completely new to CHYOA, but decided that I want to test all this by starting my own story. You can find it here: https://chyoa.com/story/Happy-Maid.8800

Somebody already started a discussion in the comments about the concept, so I thought opening this thread might be a useful thing for a better structured discussion.

My idea was to have three parallel plots who only split at certain points, but get combined again after a while (often at the start of a "new day", for example). The reason for this was on the one side to make writing more effective, but also to give the reader a stronger feeling of actually reading one core story and core plot, instead of different plots leading into competely different directions. I know that this is a bit different from quite a lot of other stories here, so feel free to comment on it, if you dislike it (or if you like it, for that matter). I personally like the idea that the "world" around you does not change that much, but your decisions change significant details.

I am also still experimenting with the parameters, so that part might not make sense yet.

You can, by the way, find the whole and complete story on my tumblr blog (which contains erotic fiction and pictures, so NSFW warning, but that should be rather obvious, given the nature of this board here).
https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/javalar/139568036369

That's basically where the story is heading. Then again, I did have the experience of stories who develop a life of their own, so who knows where the story is really heading.

At the moment, the story is closed completely and "private", but I plan to open it, once I have written a core concept. My main idea is that people can add more maids if they want to.

Let me know what you think. :)
 
Who's Dave? There's no mention of him in the Introduction and he is mentioned in the first sentence of the second chapter.
 
He is mentioned in the introduction, but only very briefly as "your beloved husband".

Women are supposed to have careers. You sure had planned to have one. You havn’t even turned 30 yet, and your beloved husband Dave is a few years older.
Click to expand...

I am, personally, a big friend of rather short descriptions of main characters, so that people can fill these with the imagination they like. But that's personal taste, of course.

In any case, I have added a [Characters and variables explaind] section to the introduction, and the readers can get more details about the main characters there - although, again, more about their mindset at the beginning of the story than about their appearance.

https://chyoa.com/chapter/[Characters-and-Variables-explained].237750
 
How is it, actually. Are there people out there who would be willing to contribute to the story? I am still not sure if the story is ready to be opened, but it would be interesting to know if there is any interest at all.
 
I'd be interested in writing a few things for you to review and see what you think?

I really like the Blanche :-)
 
Sorry, I have been silent for a while here, and also concerning the story. For almost a month there were no new chapters added.

But that has changed a few days ago, and I am working to finish the "Friday evening", which, in most plots, will also somehow cover the whole weekend. The next point that is supposed to combine all threads again (or: most threads) will be the coming Monday where "YOU" will go back to the office.

Meanwhile, I realized that I have branched out quite extensively on this Friday evening, and I definitely need to tie down some of those branches and lead them back to Monday, otherwise the story will fray out.

Currently, there are the following branches:

  • Go home to Dave
    • This is the most basic plot which more or less follows the evenings we have experienced before. You arrive home, and if Dave waits for you or not depends on how much you have antagonized him so far. If he is there, there will be another sex scene, as usual playing out a fetish depending on which Happy Maid you decided (BDSM, Maid/oral or Bimbo/breasts). All of these still need to be written at the moment, and there will be again different chapters if you bought stuff at the online sex shop before, which brings the total of scenes that need to be written to 6.
    • If he is not at home, we enter a different phase of the story: The Happy Maid gets sexually active, seducing Dave. All three of those scenes are, at the moment, partly written, and all three of them will have one path that will lead to a "Bad End", or rather in this case: to an accelerated ending that completely enthralls the protagonist and make her lose the struggle for independance and free will. I want to give everybody a chance to escape those Endings though. Which means that these plots are a bit more complicated - but also more fun. All of them are at the moment at least partially written.
  • Meet with "Kyle"
    • That's the identical Bad End as before, and it's already completed.
  • Meet with Sara
    • This is a completely new structure, because the protagonist flees her home. In a way you could say it's the escape from the Matrix. This should emphasize the possibility to end this story without becoming a sex slave, but I want to make it hard, so a lot of choices will be Bad Ends or will lead the protagonist back into her home. The problem with this path is that there is a risk I could create a completely new branch that needs work (a branch that is about escape and exposing the conspiracy) and I am not sure this is a good idea because one of the strengths of the story was that it always had all branches getting back together at one point. I am, in fact, thinking about a possibility where the protagonist returns home on a voluntary basis to uncover the conspiracy by pretending to play along. In any case, the meeting with Sara at the moment has several paths:
      • Fleeing to a hotel. This will most likely end in failure and opens a path where we introduce a fourth Happy Maid: Sara. This will open a new fetish and play with Lesbian fantasies.
      • Going to the HQ of Happy Maid: There are also several options where this will end in failure and enslavement, but I plan one path that will help the protagonist understand more of what's going on (probably by sneaking around the offices) and then, as mentioned, return home. There is not a lot written yet.
  • Meeting the guys from the Dating platform:
    • This is one of the options where other authors could add new people and create new paths pretty easily. So far we have "Pete" and "Steve"
      • "Steve": I plan a chapter where both Steve and the protagonist wake up from their sexual enslavement, at least for a short time. This can provide the reader with further information about what's going on. This is not written yet, but will happen on "Saturday".
      • "Pete": Only one chapter written yet. No specific plans. Could be similar to Steve (clues) or completely different.
And that's it.

Quite a lot of work. And as mentioned before, I am thinking about opening the possibility to contribute, so I am writing all of this down that people get an idea where everything is heading.

After this, we are resuming on "Monday", starting a new week. My plan is to go through the week a bit quicker than before. Focus will lie on the fact that the whole office starts to change. Colleagues asking for sex and/or the protagonist starting to offer sex (especially if Dave rejected her and she needs to find satisfaction elsewhere). I want to keep the parallel structure of "enslavement/mind control" and "struggle to keep a free will", so there should be possiblities to find out more and hone your suspicions. I am not sure yet what that will be though. But the story should definitely still present the option to stay with your head above the water, at least partially. It's more fun to end up as a sex doll if you have done as much as possible before to avoid this fate. The core idea of Happy Maid is that there should be at least one path that leads you to "win" this game and escaping with a sane mind. Although, of course, all those Bad Ends are actually more fun. ;)
 
Ah, yes, of course. That's simply because the other path (Dave is home) is not written yet. The whole Friday evening is still work in progress.
 
Sooo, Happy Maid has been elected for Story of the Week.

I don't know exactly who to thank for, but I feel very excited and humbled. :)

On a sidenote, I did start to work on the "Dave is home" path. I will work on all Friday evening paths (Dave home, Dave & maid, escape with Sara... etc.) simultanously.
 
I took a look at your story, I remember reading a bit of it several months ago but holy shit is it deep down. Not only did you write a lot you did a good job of cleaning up dead ends and added a variable system two things I love to see people doing. You have written a incredible amount and deserve each of the 600k views and 500+ likes.

I have no idea where you find the time and inspiration but congrats
 
Lake_Nine said:
I took a look at your story, I remember reading a bit of it several months ago but holy shit is it deep down. Not only did you write a lot you did a good job of cleaning up dead ends and added a variable system two things I love to see people doing. You have written a incredible amount and deserve each of the 600k views and 500+ likes.

I have no idea where you find the time and inspiration but congrats
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for this comment, it really made me smile. :)

It's nice to get other people excited, and I was always unsure if my story would gather interest, especially because I am not writing in my native language.
Not leaving any dead ends, advancing the whole story and the different branches as evenly as possible and using the variable system are indeed among the points that were most important to me, so it's very nice to hear that those are also the ones who impressed you the most.

I didn't even think I was investing so much time. I just sit down in the evenings and let my imagination flow. ;) But of course, if I look back at everything I wrote and the add the time, I probably should feel a bit frightened about it. :D
 
Still working on Friday evening & the weekend.

This was a bad idea, branching out so much. ;)

On a sidenote, while working on the visit to "Steve", I realized that the whole "dating website" option had been broken and partly not accessible, because the former scene of rejecting Dave had not added to the "Antagonizing Dave" counter. That's fixed now, altough you need to reject Dave twice to open up that path for you. It's a fun one, though.

We're getting there, though. Several paths have almost reached Monday morning, which will be the big unifying plot point.
 
As of today, two chapters of Happy Maid can be found in the "top 10 chapters". I feel honored and humbled.

Although I think it's probably good if the second one will be replaced by another story's chapter soon. The list is a nice showcase for stories, and I don't want to block two spots. ;) Still: Very happy.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top