Speaking as a male who may or may not be typical when it comes to sex, here are a few things I'd say to keep in mind:
(1) Obviously, there is as much diversity among men as women, and so this is all very generalized and may not be accurate for everyone.
(2) You're pretty much spot-on with the first two things you've mentioned: that the primary focus for men's pleasure is the penis, and that men tend to be visually stimulated.
(3) It is a myth that men do not enjoy foreplay and would rather get right down to business. Men especially enjoy touching a woman's body, and will tend to focus on their favorite parts - depending on the man, this might be breasts, ass, or feet & legs.
(4) Men tend to get turned on very quickly, and if stimulation of some kind is kept up (but not to the point of orgasm), they can stay that way for an hour or more.
(5) As a rule, men don't tend to say very much during sex. Usually, men like it when women are vocal, though.
(6) During sex, men are focused on the present moment. One of the great things about sex, and this seems to be true for men more than women, is that it's almost impossible to worry about anything else while one is doing it; the sensation and stimulation drives everything else out of one's head. So, men won't generally be thinking of things like an upcoming football game or even a conversation which took place ten minutes ago with the woman he's having sex with.
(6a) This focus on the present moment and the physical sensation during sex is the reason why men might seem callous or unfeeling; it's not that we don't feel love and affection during sex, it's that we can't articulate it. This is also why men are fully capable of having sex with women who we don't like very much; once we're in the moment, that just doesn't seem to matter (afterward, though, it can matter a great deal!)
(7) Sometimes, men will go into sex with some lack of confidence, especially if he's inexperienced or has never been with this particular woman before. As such, he might start off holding back a bit until he gets some kind of confirmation that the woman is enjoying it, and then he will become more bold and perhaps more aggressive.
(8) Men can tell when they're about to orgasm about five to ten seconds in advance. There is a sensation which feels something like a buildup of pressure, and then several involuntary muscular spasms at the base of the penis which, of course, ejaculates semen. The feeling of pleasure hits right at the first such muscle contraction, and it usually feels like a wave of tingling sensation which starts at the genitals and radiates through the body to the extremities. It also feels like one is producing a lot more semen than one actually does.
(9) We can't tell when a woman is faking an orgasm.
(10) After orgasm, men "come down" fairly quickly. It is still pleasurable to continue intimate contact, kissing, cuddling, etc., but the physical need is satisfied. This is actually when men feel more of the emotional connection, as opposed to during the act of sex itself when it is more about shared physical pleasure.
Hope that helps!
Speaking as another male, all of this is accurate, and I can't think of much to add except a few small details, listed below:
11: the more of an emotional connection you have with your partner, and the longer you stay in physical contact with your partner, the longer the "afterglow" lasts. This is part of why we remain interested in petting and cuddling.
12: Men CAN be multiply orgasmic during a single 'run', however, it is not pleasurable, in fact, it is intensely painful, and leaves us sore and shaky for at least a week afterward. (I speak from personal experience here, other men might not have this reaction to the experience, and most I've talked to say it's never happened to them.)
13: Many men are tightly coiled springs of repression and embarrassment about their sexuality, trying to fit themselves into a badly fitting mold of what their society perceives as the 'ideal' man. In most of the world, this includes not admitting they are gay, or bisexual.
14: Additionally, in large parts of the USA and Europe, this includes not admitting that what they really want from a woman most of the time, is not precisely sex, but just physical intimacy, which their culture says is only permissible leading up to, during, or after sex. They want sex, yes, but what they want more is the skin-to-skin touching that comes with it, and if they could have that whenever they wanted without needing to have sex to get it, they would accept it and be happier.
15: That said, we do want and need frequent sex, daily, ideally, but we want to be physically intimate with our partners multiple times a day. However, we are told from a young age that this is only for women, and many of us resent that privilege bitterly. (I'm lucky that I was raised by my mother, who is very smart and explained all of this to me.)
16: Furthermore, males are different in our sexual appetites as we age. While all humans desire sex more strongly in our youth, men's appetites decline more rapidly than females but reach a stable plateau state earlier. And tend not to terminally drop off until far later in life. (
On average in both cases.)
