Idol sister

NaughtyOppa

NaughtyOppa

Experienced
[First name]'s sister is a famous singer. The problem is she's not been home for a year, and in that time he's started seeing her as more than a sister thanks to her performances. They've made him realise she's a sexual being as much as he is. Ruh roh!

Incest, slow burn, a little angsty but not overly so. Image links throughout, but totally optional and not really necessary to enjoy the story.

https://chyoa.com/story/Idol-Sister.32475

Feedback/suggestions/questions appreciated. Hoping the characterisations make sense :-)
 
Seems good! The sex scenes have a nice, slow pacing I appreciate. The story is a really classic one for the genre that never gets old and it's a very appealing fantasy. I also like that you made the images optional, that is my personal preference. The chapters are meaty and read at a very brisk pace with natural, flowing dialogue.

It will be interesting to see if things get kinkier or if they hit any hitches as it goes along, right now I'd call it a pretty soft story. Not that that's bad. I like a nice, sweet romance. :)

A quick observation: in the chapter "She Tries to Laugh it Off" there was a little typo in a sentence that says "putting on your baggiest pair of sweatpants and straightening your shits hurriedly" and I assume should say shirt. I thought you might want to fix that since otherwise it reads a little silly!

Nice story so far!
 
MidbossMan said:
It will be interesting to see if things get kinkier or if they hit any hitches as it goes along, right now I'd call it a pretty soft story. Not that that's bad. I like a nice, sweet romance. :)
Click to expand...

Ah, thanks for catching that typo!

And thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate it :)

There will be some bumps along the road...
 
Started adding in some Choa perspective from the previous 11 months.

As for the "Ayy let's just fuck" branch, having some trouble with that, but I'll try to get it to work...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top