Naomi's Little Black Book

[direforhire]

Hey everyone, this is my first time on the forum.

I wanted to say that I really appreciate those who enjoy my story thus far even though there was a time that I didn't make any update to it but I wanted to reach out to the community and ask for any feedback you may have about it.

Also I encourage everyone to add to the story if you want to, I love to see what ideas ya'll have to add.

 

[brevdravis]

Ok, first off, it helps to add a link to the story you'd like feedback on. Here it is for anybody else who'd like to read.

Thanks for reaching out to folks, and I'll try to be honest and give feedback in the hope that you understand that first and foremost, I want you to KEEP WRITING! Because that's the only way anybody ever improves.

I did give your story a look through and although it wasn't my cup of tea, I will say that you have put a lot of thought into it. Although right away you drift into wish fulfillment fantasies, which I admit are very popular on this site. However, there's really no stakes involved in this story as of right now. So I'd suggest possibly adding some opposition or resistance to what's going on, rather than having the main character essentially having unlimited power. Without something to strive for or some kind of stakes, folks in general are much less likely to get invested or interested in writing.

Other than that, seems well written, and nothing glaring jumped out at me with regards to spelling or grammar, so kudos there. Overall, welcome to the forums, Keep writing, and write what YOU want to read. Contributors are pretty rare, but you're doing the right thing by asking.

And some music because I always do that.