Need Help writing

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BladeGod

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Yo I could use some help writing the sex stuff in my story A Kingdom to rule....I suck at description for that kinda stuff and I want my story to be enjoyable so can someone help?
 
Do you have a link for your story, or is currently unpublished? It's rather hard to help without anything to read.
 
Okay, first you need to flesh this fantasy universe of Midnick out a bit more. I'd highly recommend fleshing things out in a text document separate to CHYOA. Be warned that these things can become complicated very fast.

Whilst I'm no expert when it comes to fantasy, I'd say you should be able to answer these questions:

-How does magic work in this universe?
-What is the current technological era of this universe (The Dark Ages, Industrial etc). Has magic affected this in any way?
-Are there any mythological beings such as Elves, Orcs, Dragons, Futas?
-What sort of tone are you going for? Is this a dark story similar to Game of Thrones, or something lighter?
-What morales does this society(ies) have? Things like incest were a lot more prevalent in history, and sex before marriage as often been taboo in a lot of societies.

I respect this may be rather daunting, but it is best you tackle this now so you can keep your story consistent. Once this is done, I'd recommend compiling this into Glossary similar to this.

That said the premise of working your way up the chain is appealing. It allows for lots of power plays (which I personally enjoy a lot), including political intrigue and the such. It's got a lot of potential if you put the work into it.

Next, I'd recommend you look into getting Grammarly. This is a helpful add-on that assists with grammar and spelling. I know I'd be fucked without it.

Beyond that, it would be ideal if you edit the first chapter. It's a rather sudden jump into a fantasy world that we as the reader are unfamiliar with. I'd also recommend putting thoughts in Italics to make it easier to distinguish from speech. Also, the dialog in the last paragraph is missing " " marks.

Getting to your original question about writing sex, my recommendation would be to read as much as possible. CHYOA obviously has a ton of erotica, and websites such as Literotica and Noveltrove are also a good source of stories. You also have Google to search up anything you're not 100% sure on.

If I was to give some general advice on writing sex:

-Sex should flow with your story. If the story has to be put on pause for a sex scene, it's going to come across as awkward. Likewise, if you write with the sole intention of having a sex scene, you're going to get about five chapters deep and then go "What the fuck am I doing?"
-Sex scenes are much more enjoyable when they involve interesting characters, relationships, and stakes.
-Sex scenes are like sex themselves in that build-up is as, if not even more, important than just fucking (same can be said for battle scenes). Build-up includes things such as getting to know the characters, flirting, dates, and the such
 
thanks for the advice... you've given me stuff to think on and honestly thanks for not insulting my work like others
 
I hope you will let me be a hard ass for a moment.

Do not even try to be open world. Skyrim had several proffesionals working fulltime for years focused solely on writing and story structure. If you think you can write a story where you can do anything and be anyone you will end up disappointing. Each time you add a customization option the number of stories you have to write increases exponentially. Focus on one character you like and a story you want to tell about them.

I also would strongly suggest putting in some erotica as soon as possible (in the introduction would be ideal.) It doesn't have to be a full on sex scene just something that will catch a readers intrest and tell them what kind of sex they can look forward to in the story. What kind of sexiness do you want to write? power exchange? fantasy races? romance? harem? just raw sex in a medieval setting? something else?
 
RejectTed said:
I hope you will let me be a hard ass for a moment.

Do not even try to be open world. Skyrim had several proffesionals working fulltime for years focused solely on writing and story structure. If you think you can write a story where you can do anything and be anyone you will end up disappointing. Each time you add a customization option the number of stories you have to write increases exponentially. Focus on one character you like and a story you want to tell about them.

I also would strongly suggest putting in some erotica as soon as possible (in the introduction would be ideal.) It doesn't have to be a full on sex scene just something that will catch a readers intrest and tell them what kind of sex they can look forward to in the story. What kind of sexiness do you want to write? power exchange? fantasy races? romance? harem? just raw sex in a medieval setting? something else?
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This is honestly letting the tail wag the dog. Yes you should have a theme in mind. But the order of operations should be Setting-Characters-Hook-Relationships-Pron. In that order.

When you let the sex lead, you end up forcing it. And you don't need to write the forgotten realms to start a fantasy story. If your character is a sewer beggar who's selling her body for food, what's it matter what King Tinkletits is up to on the next continent over? If you want to fill out the world, you can do that progressively as long as you make sure you're always painting with your back to the door.

Even in the biggest worlds, you just need to keep track of the stuff your wrote, which is always something you should do to prevent continuity errors.
 
BladeGod said:
thanks for the advice... you've given me stuff to think on and honestly thanks for not insulting my work like others
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Well if anyone does give you crap, they either 1. Haven't put anything out there at all 2. Are on a similar level to you 3. Were once on your level and have forgotten that they needed practice too

Also, as one last piece of advice: rather than creating stories, to begin with, it might be better to contribute to other stories. There are plenty of stories on this site that require a little love. It's also likely that the original creator is active and are willing to help you out and give you advice. Might be a good way to work on your craft whilst your molding the world of Midnick.
 
Meh I've got expeirence actually writing, just not this stuff....but thanks though its my first try at a clear run through if the sex happens it happens
 
RejectTed said:
I hope you will let me be a hard ass for a moment.

Do not even try to be open world. Skyrim had several proffesionals working fulltime for years focused solely on writing and story structure. If you think you can write a story where you can do anything and be anyone you will end up disappointing. Each time you add a customization option the number of stories you have to write increases exponentially. Focus on one character you like and a story you want to tell about them.

I also would strongly suggest putting in some erotica as soon as possible (in the introduction would be ideal.) It doesn't have to be a full on sex scene just something that will catch a readers intrest and tell them what kind of sex they can look forward to in the story. What kind of sexiness do you want to write? power exchange? fantasy races? romance? harem? just raw sex in a medieval setting? something else?
Click to expand...

And yet skyrim was disliked by quite a few I may make a story and finish it but at the same time I want the freedom to fuck around that and an open world allows readers to put their own ideas in
 
BladeGod said:
And yet skyrim was disliked by quite a few I may make a story and finish it but at the same time I want the freedom to fuck around that and an open world allows readers to put their own ideas in
Click to expand...

I mean, yes. But blank slates are intimidating to most people, I don't write a word of Annika with a blank slate. Gatekeeper's character and where he left it inspired me to pick it up. The biggest mistake people make is they think other people will carry their water. Don't make that mistake. Make people fall in love with something, and then they'll help you.
 
targetthyself said:
I mean, yes. But blank slates are intimidating to most people, I don't write a word of Annika with a blank slate. Gatekeeper's character and where he left it inspired me to pick it up. The biggest mistake people make is they think other people will carry their water. Don't make that mistake. Make people fall in love with something, and then they'll help you.
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true I'll right myself but I want others to have the ability to actually put in a character that fits or an idea, closing the world off would make it harder fr them
 
Ben Rosewood said:
Also, as one last piece of advice: rather than creating stories, to begin with, it might be better to contribute to other stories. There are plenty of stories on this site that require a little love. It's also likely that the original creator is active and are willing to help you out and give you advice. Might be a good way to work on your craft whilst your molding the world of Midnick.
Click to expand...
You said what I was trying to say with the Skyrim comment except way better

targetthyself said:
This is honestly letting the tail wag the dog. Yes you should have a theme in mind. But the order of operations should be Setting-Characters-Hook-Relationships-Pron. In that order.

When you let the sex lead, you end up forcing it. And you don't need to write the forgotten realms to start a fantasy story. If your character is a sewer beggar who's selling her body for food, what's it matter what King Tinkletits is up to on the next continent over? If you want to fill out the world, you can do that progressively as long as you make sure you're always painting with your back to the door.

Even in the biggest worlds, you just need to keep track of the stuff your wrote, which is always something you should do to prevent continuity errors.
Click to expand...
I think we will have to agree to disagree on this. Your correct forcing sex into a story will ruin it, but the majority of modern TV shows open with a hook.

Or imagine a story set on a starship with frisky crew. It opens with two characters mid lovemaking. The author describes how characters look and act. When they finish, we see what their relationship is to each other. Then, they leave the room and the ship (the stories setting) is shown. Finally, something happens introducing the hook and starting the main plot.

For an example in this story, the character could've wanted a castle because it let them fuck the maid consiquece free or romance the queen. Alternatively instead of a man an angel or valkyrie could have saved the main character.

To be clear about my Skyrim comment, I wasn't trying to say that you can't make a complex world full of complex characters, just warn against promising the player can do whatever they want.
BladeGod said:
true I'll right myself but I want others to have the ability to actually put in a character that fits or an idea, closing the world off would make it harder fr them
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Or it could give them a place to start. People won't add to yoor story because you give them a blank canvas; the can get that by clicking the "write a story" button at the top of the site. They'll write because they like your characters, setting, or story.
 
and yet if you answer the four questions given by ben they should have enough to go off of ultimately an open world is also there for the writer because it allows you to do whatever you wish and hone the skills you have even further
 
RejectTed said:
You said what I was trying to say with the Skyrim comment except way better


I think we will have to agree to disagree on this. Your correct forcing sex into a story will ruin it, but the majority of modern TV shows open with a hook.

Or imagine a story set on a starship with frisky crew. It opens with two characters mid lovemaking. The author describes how characters look and act. When they finish, we see what their relationship is to each other. Then, they leave the room and the ship (the stories setting) is shown. Finally, something happens introducing the hook and starting the main plot.
Click to expand...

This is fine for your uses. But a hallway bang in the opening just comes off as filler you could have spent developing characters readers will want to follow. Unless there's some reason you need them to be having sex to display a hook (For example: the story is about a space STD or bio-organism that is contracted via sex) then that's not a hook it's a just hallway bang, you want to draw the reader in, set up a bigger payoff, maybe have him flub the advance and they fight about it. If you give it all away on the first chapter, what are they going to need the second chapter for? Are you a literary slut sir!
 
BladeGod said:
Meh I've got expeirence actually writing, just not this stuff....but thanks though its my first try at a clear run through if the sex happens it happens
Click to expand...

I'd still advise you take contributing to other stories into consideration. CHYOA presents a series of unique challenges compared to writing a short story:

-Maintaining continuity and continuing story threads. It can be easy to lose one's place in a story
-How long do you make a chapter? Too short and there's not enough information, whereas too long might cause readers to lose interest.
-How open-ended do you make a chapter? Too linear and you might lose contributors, but at the same time, a story does need to progress.
 
RejectTed said:
I think we will have to agree to disagree on this. Your correct forcing sex into a story will ruin it, but the majority of modern TV shows open with a hook.

Or imagine a story set on a starship with frisky crew. It opens with two characters mid lovemaking. The author describes how characters look and act. When they finish, we see what their relationship is to each other. Then, they leave the room and the ship (the stories setting) is shown. Finally, something happens introducing the hook and starting the main plot.
Click to expand...

Whilst I agree that the vast majority of good stories do have a strong hook to begin with, that hook doesn't have to be sex. I'd rather learn about this frisky space crew before the action than cut in halfway between the action. Why are they on the space craft? Research? Exploration? Space Piracy? Military Action? Trade? These all have the potential to be very interesting without throwing me some erotica right away.

Of course, that is a matter of personal taste, and in the right context, opening with a sex scene could also be fine. I'd also agree that one should aim to at least publish with one sex scene, considering that's what 95% of readers are here for.
 
thanks I've fixed some stuff in the story and focused in on a character BUT overall the world is still an open one due to writers preference
 
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