Online Adventures

2

229

Experienced
Online Adventures (https://chyoa.com/chapter/Introduction.296786) isn't really something I'd call a story yet. It actually started with me trying to do it as a part of something else, but it quickly took main focus, and I made it its own story.

It took a long time to get all of the loop stuff down, and the basic idea is that you join a sex and porn forum. It's meant to be a very customizable experience, but I don't really have any plans for the content yet. I probably bit off more than I can chew with the relationships, so I'd like to split my time between finishing that and getting the actual story stuff in, rather than waiting until I've finished that section.
 
A while ago I made a change to the way relationships work. I originially was constructing a bunch of premade boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives but it wasn't really working so I took it all out.
 
Haha, true, although for this one I'm not even sure what a good cover pic would be. A computer?
 
I would suggest:
  1. Write a session yourself. This would probably be more rewarding (at least in the short term) than writing that complex character customisation. It would also be a helpful example for other contributors; I like that belly dancer chapter Ted wrote, but it's clear that he has no idea what he is doing. And it would improve the stories search ability (more likes, tags, time on the front page).
  2. Include loops. When someone reaches the end of a particular branch in game mode they have to start from the beginning, creating a character all over again. Or they can hit the previous chapter button, but this feels like cheating, can take a long time if the branch is deep, and literally undoes whatever choices the reader made.
 
I was already thinking up an angry response and then I realized it was you lmao.

I've never actually used tags, actually.
 
229 said:
I was already thinking up an angry response and then I realized it was you lmao.

I've never actually used tags, actually.
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Wow, I didn't mean to sound harsh, but i guess i kind of did.
To clearify: I would really like to have a few chapters you wrote to copy off of. I honestly have no idea what I am writing have the time. And while i do like the character customization, I don't think it was very fun to write, certainly not as much fun as writing smut.

As for tags, I can understand why you don't use.
 
Oh no, I meant about the "it's clear that he has no idea what he is doing."

Yeah, it can be a little hard to come up with a good idea for this one though.
 
229 said:
Yeah, it can be a little hard to come up with a good idea for this one though.
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Try asking yourself "what makes this sexy?"
For example if you wanted to write an rp session with BearTrap about catching him wearing women's clothes. Why is that sexy? Its not really my thing, so I don't know but it would probably be embarrassing and he may not be fully dressed. Whatever it is figure it out and write about it.
Or if you need more detail what about his embarrassment is sexy, his blush? how he tries to hide it? a slight change in mannerisms? what mannerisms are sexy? Keep asking yourself until you get a story.
At least that's what I do.
 
RejectTed said:
Try asking yourself "what makes this sexy?"
For example, if you wanted to write an RP session with BearTrap about catching him wearing women's clothes. Why is that sexy? It's not really my thing, so I don't know but it would probably be embarrassing and he may not be fully dressed. Whatever it is, figure it out and write about it.
Or if you need more detail what about his embarrassment is sexy, his blush? how he tries to hide it? a slight change in mannerisms? what mannerisms are sexy? Keep asking yourself until you get a story.
At least that's what I do.
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That's some sound advice.
 
Nice to see a new chapter published from 229. It's not my thing, so I confess I didn't read the whole thing. But it provides a much more believable example of casually role-playing, by two people making it up as they go. Probably better than my writing style not that I am going to change.
 
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