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Nemo of Utopia

Nemo of Utopia

CHYOA Guru
So, I've got this story, about awakening as a god on a brand new world, naked and surrounded by your pantheon, (link in my signature if interested,) and that's all good until I ran into one of those situations with a god/goddess that is perpetually underage. Now, this would not normally be too huge an issue, just have them conveniently elsewhere while the sex went on like ya always do with kids, but...

Everyone starts naked...

This was the compromise I wrote for the chapter I was working on, but IDK if I'm going far enough, or not far enough, or if I just have to scrap the child goddess aspect of the character and amend the rules to state that no child deities are allowed in the story at the beginning period...?

Next, you behold an older girl, radiant, like the very sun: and just as you knew the previous woman's name to be "Auntie Willow" you recognize this one's name is "Dawn". Dawn has a mop of curly locks of platinum blonde hair and appears to be about 14 or so just entering the first stages of puberty: not yet a woman, but beginning the painful transition that in a mortal would be complete by the time she turned 18, and for a goddess takes ever so much longer... Her hands are bathed in a blood-red, yet holy, glow, like the light of the sun just as it crests the horizon at, well, Dawn. You instinctively know she has abilities to heal the living and harm the undead with this glowing aura. Out of all of you, "Dawn" is the only one wearing clothes, just a sundress, and underwear, but that's still a sight better than NOTHING!
Click to expand...

Any constructive feedback here would be greatly appreciated...
 
If she should wear something, I'd rather go for "leaves of innocence" (think of the creation story)

Besides that, if it isn't absolutely necessary, I'd avoid that kind of character at all.

Or that character isn't present at that scene as she already sleeps or didn't come in time as she is still playing.

Depending on the role of that character, there could be other possibilities. If the character is meant to represent the beginning of something new, she could be a very pregnant woman, who bears a (human) child every day.
 
What gene.sis said, better not to have even the whiff of potentially underage there. I mean, if she just lacked development that would be one thing, but if it's an immortal tween...probably not the place for it.
 
She's a teenager, technically, but, I see your point... Well, on the one hand, this helps the story in certain ways, on the other, I once again feel the constraints of our medium... I'll leave this open for a day or so in case of any counter-arguments, but as its looking right now, starting out with pre-adult gods/goddesses is about to be off the table. This will involve a little rewriting, but not much...
 
I went back and forth on this in my head a couple times.

This is obviously a gray area, and there *could* be room for pervy finessing that *might* make it technically-acceptable-ish.

Where I see it becoming pretty clearly on the wrong side of gray area is this -

Consider that these 'Gods' are, essentially, a species of sentient beings.

This goddess sounds like she *might* be a sexually and mentally immature member of this 'species', as compared to other members - perhaps even eternally.

Which Harkness doesn't approve of.
 
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Distinctly not eternally, but, for probably something on the order of 4k years or so...

EDIT: Also, 'species' isn't quite the correct term as they aren't so much beings of matter as sapient energy signatures that form a matter shell to maintain signal strength and coherency in their waveforms...
 
Or is it?

The question I'm wrestling with here really, I guess, is whether or not nudity is inherently sexual: but I think that unfortunately, the answer is a pretty clearcut "yes": so back to the story and some rewriting will be required...
 
Nemo of Utopia said:
whether or not nudity is inherently sexual: but I think that unfortunately, the answer is a pretty clearcut "yes"
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Plain nudity is definitely not sexual.
It is all about the depiction and the context.

You might easily identify the difference if you compare a nudism picture with a porn picture.
 
Eh, if the 1000-year-old immortal dragon loli goddess thing works for Japan, it can work for everyone else imo...
If you don't want it to get weird, best just cut the character altogether or at least bury her waaaay in the background, or just keep everything vague with nonspecific descriptions. I mean, in an erotic story everything and everyone can be considered a potential erotic factor.
Besides, you seem to have a track record of being very stringent about this particular rule, so I wouldn't even worry about it.
 
You know what my problem with the "1000-year-old immortal dragon loli goddess" bit is?

73b4832b6ba2bd7dcf79cd0050e76adadc7b6d4e_00.gif


That, that is my problem.

Why, why is that my problem? Because the second girl, the one freaking right the hell out...

Is literally, not joking, no rhetorical hyperbole here, IN GRADE SCHOOL!

And you're saying that THIS:

c56ed202e35ea81a3c3f3da1ba27554d.png


Who, let me remind you is literally like SEVEN is somehow, OKAY, because the other girl is a "1000-year-old immortal dragon loli goddess"...?

*Drops Mic...*

 
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