Power Play

[FallenSaint]

Looking for some feedback on my story Power Play.

https://chyoa.com/story/Power-Play.6126

I have a lot I want to work on with three of my stories and trying to decide how to manage my time between them. I know Shadow Hunters is popular and now Forbidden Temptations is getting some attention from other writers butI only have a few hours a week to give a story.

So feedback on this will help me judge interest levels and make some decisions.

 

[Zeebop]

The chapters are of a good length and lots of great detail, your descriptions of action are clear, and I think you're developing themes and plot well enough, but it's very linear so far, no real choices to make. Sexual action is pretty straightforward - I like the dialogue, but it could use a bit more variety. Your main female characters in the party are both bisexual, so maybe you could develop on that a little bit, or explore an alternate encounter or two that loops back into the main storyline?

 

[FallenSaint]

The chapters are of a good length and lots of great detail, your descriptions of action are clear, and I think you're developing themes and plot well enough, but it's very linear so far, no real choices to make. Sexual action is pretty straightforward - I like the dialogue, but it could use a bit more variety. Your main female characters in the party are both bisexual, so maybe you could develop on that a little bit, or explore an alternate encounter or two that loops back into the main storyline?

Yeah I haven't had much chance to make more branches yet. I plan to have one where they go after the Elf girl first. Depending on which girl you go after first, the other will be in a slightly worse situation. Also a different "Sub" member will be brought in on each route. Hanna for instance will not be available if you go after the Elf first.

Liana being bisexual is mostly to have had her as a friend of Grey and Sha'Kir from before. For her I actually have her mostly planned for straight and some incest (Not my thing but it works well with something I have planned) so she will have a lot going on sexually. For her path thinking of adding both a man and woman, probably Dwarves but not certain yet.

So far though in the party only Sha'Kir is bisexual. Grey has tried to talk Hanna into giving women a try but it hasn't happened yet.