Rings of Confirmation-Futurama

I read the chapters 5-9 on this branch.

The first thing I noticed is that there are a lot of low-level errors, particularly in punctuation, capitalization and typography.

A lot of your commas should be periods, in many places where there should be commas there are none, and there are miscellaneous other low-level punctuation errors. A trick you can use is to pretend being a narrator and read your prose aloud (or 'aloud' in your mind). Every time you pause, that's a sign there probably should be some kind of punctuation there. A short break is a comma (separating related clauses), a medium break is a period (separating unrelated clauses, ie. sentences), and a long break is paragraph (signaling a shift in the subject entirely or a change in perspective between characters).

As for typography, the way the text is laid out, try to split the dialogue out from the prose a little more, in order to help it stand out. More than 2 sets of quotes in the same paragraph makes it hard to see which parts are dialogue and which are descriptions. There should also be no more than a little bit of non-quote text in a dialogue paragraph, like this:
"Foo," he said, doing something brief on the side. "Bar."

He did some more things. You can describe the scenery here. It's nice weather today, but I'm really just padding this out so it becomes a proper paragraph. It's getting pretty long, so it shouldn't be merged into the previous or next one.

She flitted the blips extra thoroughly. "Quux?"

"That's garply!" he exclaimed, now thoroughly discombobulated.
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For example, here's 2 random paragraphs from chapter 8:
"Schquell No" Amy fired back smacking the form "Have you even read this Sqrap? Bra and Panty size, how often we hook up, favorite positions. Genital preference, what are these? Personality tests from Unique Knockers?" Amy tossed her copy down.

"Nope they removed those last fall" Scruffy said resting in the corner with the same magazine unfolding a centerfold of a pair of particularly unique knockers from the summer of 3016. "Made room for more behind the scene interviews" He finished admiring the behind the scenes of Miss July.
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I would change to:
"Schquell no!" Amy fired back, smacking the form <adjective>ly. "Have you even read this sqrap? Bra and panty size, how often we hook up, favorite positions, genital preference!? What are these, personality tests from Unique Knockers?"

Scruffy was resting in the corner with the same magazine, unfolding a centerfold of a pair of particularly unique knockers from the summer of 3016.

"Nope, they removed those last fall. Made room for more 'behind the scenes' interviews," he replied, admiring the behind the scenes of Miss July.
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Amy didn't "fire back smacking"; she fired back, and she also smacked the form. Scruffy didn't "finish admiring"; he said something, and he was also admiring someone. And the middle sentence in the last paragraph is too long to fit between 2 quotes, so I separated it, then merged the two quotes into one, because he's not doing anything in between any more.

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I really like the phrase "tossing it to the ground with all the delicate care of a minimum wage delivery boy". Made me laugh, full marks. In fact, you've generally got a good grasp of humour generally, including in the part I quoted above. The story is funny without trying too hard or jumping the shark (which is always bad, but it's a particular disaster for humour).

It's a little too early to say much about the higher level aspects of your writing, like the plot or character development. But... promising so far?
 
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