Sappho's Amulet

This one is far more rape-y than the other one, after reading part of the Emily storyline, I'm feeling conflicted, but all in all, I just don't like it.


In particular, this chapter bothers me:

https://chyoa.com/chapter/Yes!.3574

The protagonist could have convinced Em to make the decision to accept without using the Amulet, and it's out of character for her to not do so.

It might have gone something like this:

"I couldn't accept that," Emily says. "It's too generous."

"Explain?" You ask, careful to give her the option to refuse, and Emily looks conflicted but answers honestly.

"If you did that, and I accepted, I'd feel like I was in your debt for the rest of my life, I could never be fully happy until I found a way to pay you back..." Emily Explains.

"Well, sort of, but there's an easy way to do that..." You begin, gulping at what you have to say next. "Emily, I'm not sure how to say this... You know how I'm the first time you've ever been with a woman?" You ask, hesitant.

"Yes..." Em responds, breathless, already sensing where this is going...

"You are mine, as well..." You say, choking up...



How Does Emily React To This Statement?
Click to expand...
 
By "this one" do you mean this particular thread, or the whole story?

I agree about letting Emily make the decision. I inherited this story from another writer, and didn't want to eliminate any of the creator's work, though. Creating a branch point that follows along the lines you suggest isn't a bad notion, though.
 
I concur... that's why I abandoned it. The story just wasn't working out the way I'd originally wanted it to. (I used to be "gystex" but had to create a new account due to password problems)
 
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