Should the characters use a condom?

Nemo of Utopia said:
You're one of those people that never got over the fact that your mom had sex with a guy, aren't you?
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yeah, that's it. that's exactly why I'm not into stories about impregnation. Thanks, Dr. Freud! And while you're at it, go fuck yourself.
 
back to the topic: Well, there is a huge difference between real life and fiction. The condom thing demonstrates this very nicely. In real life I would never fuck a stranger without one in a story, for me, it would feel off-putting to read about the guy putting a condom on. It's just too realistic. But then again I am a fantasy writer so it doesn´t concern me anyway. :D
 
I rarely have my character's use a condom: but that's because, as mentioned: I have an impregnation fetish. Furthermore, honestly, if you're not at a point in a relationship where you feel comfortable with the idea of siring/bearing your partner's child: you shouldn't be having sex. (Well, at least not sex that can potentially result in pregnancy, and the only 100% reliable form of birth control is not engaging in that specific form of sexual contact... There are other options if you both feel you are not ready for children: anal, cunnilingus, fellatio, mutual masturbation, 69...)
 
Yeah, and I'm not even saying you're wrong, but as someone who never wants to have kids (at least, not give birth to any), the idea that I shouldn't ever have sex, even with birth control, seems pretty excessive.
 
Well, there are a handful of extreme forms of birth control which are 100% effective: such as, for example, having one's ovaries removed, but I would generally advise against them as the side effects tend to be equally extreme.
 
Nemo of Utopia said:
There are other options if you both feel you are not ready for children: anal, cunnilingus, fellatio, mutual masturbation, 69...)
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Was anyone in the whole history of mankind ever ready to become a parent for the first time?
I'm sure you'll be ready for that when you hold your child in your arms and life will teach you.

Also, you can't compare a blowjob or anal with vag sex. Some sex practices are more a physical thing, others are more about power or emotions.
So if you never had vag sex with your partner, you may not even have the chance to feel enough "comfortable" to have a child with them.

Actually, it sounds like a twisted religion thing to force people to have sex without any birth control.
 
229 said:
Yeah, and I'm not even saying you're wrong, but as someone who never wants to have kids (at least, not give birth to any), the idea that I shouldn't ever have sex, even with birth control, seems pretty excessive.
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As I (someone with no medical degree) understand it combining the right birth control methods can reduce the risk of pregnancy after a year of use to between 1 in 100 and 1 in 10,000. Do some research, find out what proper use is, know the risks, and make your own decision.
 
Nemo of Utopia said:
I rarely have my character's use a condom: but that's because, as mentioned: I have an impregnation fetish. Furthermore, honestly, if you're not at a point in a relationship where you feel comfortable with the idea of siring/bearing your partner's child: you shouldn't be having sex. (Well, at least not sex that can potentially result in pregnancy, and the only 100% reliable form of birth control is not engaging in that specific form of sexual contact... There are other options if you both feel you are not ready for children: anal, cunnilingus, fellatio, mutual masturbation, 69...)
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Ditto on the impregnation fetish but in my defense, my wife and I are working on having another baby....

I know I am late to the party on the condom thing but wanted to weigh in. First off, yeah in a realistic story it is better to at least bring up the idea of using one even if the characters don't in the end. Buuuut for me there is a definite turn on for having the girl put it on the guy herself, especially in creative ways like working it on as part of a blowjob. No hands needed.

In my stories I normally write about fantasy so instead of condoms I sometimes use an herbal tea with properties to prevent pregnancy.
 
I think my input on the subject is in a contemporary story of modern or semi-modern setting, condoms or birth control should get at least a passing mention. The male character notes they're so caught up he doesn't care, the female character likes the risk, other factors make it a non-issue, etc. A flat omission of them feels deliberate in a sort of 'I don't feel like dealing with this' way that nags me from a writing perspective.

Fantasy and other genres I can usually ignore it. Why is the ten foot ogre or his elf victim gonna care, why is the guy hypnotizing the virgin he's obsessed with going to bother, etc.

As for what's hotter, go with the story. Make it good with or without a condom and I don't see anyone getting turned off by it in a reasonable way.
 
gene.sis said:
Actually, it sounds like a twisted religion thing to force people to have sex without any birth control.
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Yes, it does, at that: but that's not where I'm coming from. My mother was raised Catholic: but her parents didn't take the birth control prohibition very seriously, they used condoms, gels, diaphragms, AND "the pill". She's one of EIGHT Children. (Birth control they were fine with, abortion, not so much...) All I'm saying is: no matter how many forms of birth control you layer on top of each other: if you have vaginal sex, sooner or later the odds catch up to you. Now abortion's an option at that point as far as I'm concerned: but, be prepared to have to make that decision! (And that whichever you decide, your partner might disagree!)

FallenSaint said:
First off, yeah in a realistic story it is better to at least bring up the idea of using one even if the characters don't in the end. Buuuut for me there is a definite turn on for having the girl put it on the guy herself, especially in creative ways like working it on as part of a blowjob. No hands needed.
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I second this suggestion: I speak from experience saying that having the woman roll the condom on can be incredibly HOT: even if she uses her hands the very fact that she's doing it shows you she's into having this happen: and there's nothing hotter than a girl that wants you!

FallenSaint said:
In my stories, I normally write about fantasy so instead of condoms I sometimes use an herbal tea with properties to prevent pregnancy.
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Did you know that this is grounded in reality? There used to be an herb that grew in the mountains of Italy called Silphium which was a nearly 100% effective form of organic birth control that had no noticeable side effects. The Romans harvested it to extinction...
 
Nemo of Utopia said:
Did you know that this is grounded in reality? There used to be an herb that grew in the mountains of Italy called Silphium which was a nearly 100% effective form of organic birth control that had no noticeable side effects. The Romans harvested it to extinction...
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Actually i didn't know that but it just seemed like an easy explanation for safe sex in a worl with no condoms. Even with magic in my stories i prefer the tea explanation than "Poof safe sex" because the tea only lessens the chance of pregnancy and feels more realistic even for a fantasy story.
 
Nemo of Utopia said:
All I'm saying is: no matter how many forms of birth control you layer on top of each other: if you have vaginal sex, sooner or later the odds catch up to you.
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If a condom doesn't protect a girl from getting pregnant, anal wouldn't protect her either. Then you could only rely on same-gender sex, masturbation or abstinence.

What should happen if there is a barrier in-between? Yeah, the barrier can disappear.
But that aren't odds. It's all about the users.

There are so many ways which could lead the method to fail.
Condoms: Having sharp fingernails, being not wet enough or using oil in combination with latex condoms
Pill: Having diarrhea after taking it or taking antibiotics.

And if a woman gets asked why she got pregnant, would she answer "We were to dumb to contracept"? Seriously?
 
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rejectred said:
I am about to write a sex scene that's more realistic than what I normally write and I am wondering if I should have the characters use a condom.
When I have penis in vagina sex irl, I use a condom, but have never been taken out of a store if the characters don't use one. In fact, thinking back on my favorite erotic I'm haveing a hard time remebering if a condom was used. So I guess as a reader I don't care.
What is your opinion?
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The question of using a condom can lead to some fun light drama or it can be a more serious concern.

For example, a couple deciding if they want to take the risk that not using a condom entails because they just want each other so much. A couple deciding that they don't care about what might happen. You can also go down the road of having the condom break or otherwise not work as intended.

For me it is a little extra layer of believability, you don't have to labor the point though. Usually, a short conversation and some internal thoughts are enough.
 
lizisbest said:
Although as an addendum if you just never bring up condoms or the risk of not using them most people will roll with it and assume you are working in a world where it doesn't matter.
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Well said! I've been thinking the same thing, but it never quite reached the level of consciousness where it came up in a comment, so thanks for articulating it!
 
Female condoms and other birth control methods. Has anyone added those into a story since we are on the subject of characters using condoms.
 
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