T.L.C.

[gscmar64]

I'm hoping to get some feedback on what i did right with this story.

https://chyoa.com/story/T-L-C.9479

It's gotten more favorites than the entire total of my previous six stories combined.
Would also like to get suggestion on what you would like to see in the story besides better spelling and grammar!

 

[lazyhorny]

an romantic happily ever after with him and his siters would be really nice.

 

[lazyhorny]

on what u did right u wrote an harry potter esq story and mixed in romantic incest and humour, that is how i see it. loved the story except what happened with that explodign crystal.

 

[gscmar64]

What about that didn't you like that dad did it with no warning or Jory retaliating?