The Bazaar

[geezermcpleezer]

Hi,

I've been lurking since chyoa began (and for a little bit before on chyoo2), and recently decided to actually start writing. I started The Bazaar a couple days ago, and now I'm here to ask for feedback.

One specific question I have is how do you deal with many fetishes in the same story? The Bazaar contains pretty much any fetish I feel like writing about, but not everyone is interested in them. For one chapter I put a (tg) in parentheses to show it, but I feel like that can detract from reading, and stopped afterwards.

This is my first time, be gentle.

 

[Zeebop]

Still dealing with the fetish-overload thing myself; all I can say is that I like variety and folks that care seriously about what-chapter-has-what can follow the tags. I think putting it in the chapter title is a good way to alert the reader as to what they can expect to find down that path.

The chapters so far are fairly short, especially considering a lot of them are relatively straight paths with few branching options. You also use the default "What's Next?" almost without fail, especially in the later chapters...and if the sections are linear, that's fine, but if you're to be given a choice or branch at any point, you might make that a little more clear or decriptive.

 

[geezermcpleezer]

Still dealing with the fetish-overload thing myself; all I can say is that I like variety and folks that care seriously about what-chapter-has-what can follow the tags. I think putting it in the chapter title is a good way to alert the reader as to what they can expect to find down that path.

The chapters so far are fairly short, especially considering a lot of them are relatively straight paths with few branching options. You also use the default "What's Next?" almost without fail, especially in the later chapters...and if the sections are linear, that's fine, but if you're to be given a choice or branch at any point, you might make that a little more clear or decriptive.

Yeah, the chapters are short because I feel it can emphasize things differently than if you put it all in one big chapter, creating sort of a mini-cliffhanger, and also I want to leave alot of branch points to work with. If it's excessively short I guess I could work on that.

I do overuse "What's next", I'll try to work on that, but I also like how vague it is, where something like "What do you do next" might limit you to writing about the protagonists actions.

I think I'll start putting parenthesis fetish tags on each chapter, but only where they're introduced. That was my original intent, but I fell out of it after the first fetish, and I'm also scared of chapter titles looking like this: You fuck their butts (anal)(tg)(inc)(bi)(pee)(bdsm)(nc)(group)