The executioner

[majus]

I recently published a quest type of story: The executioner.
Here you can discuss the story, give your suggestions and ideas.

Plot: The story describes the career of an unnamed executioner and his interactions with convicts. How interacts with them, he interrogates them... and executes them. It also describes his struggles to survive in courts in times of political turmoil as well as the shunning of rest of society.

It's a dark story in which the players have almost no influence on the plot (in this case: stories of people, events in kingdoms, hero's expeditions, etc.), they only deal with the effect of these events (interrogations and executions) and their choices can change little directly... but, unknown to them, their actions can have sometimes far-reaching consequences which could impact lives of many...

 

[mack2028]

I looked at the story and saw the massive list of characters and just tuned out. I don't want to be a dick but it seemed like way too much effort to understand what is going on in that story. That being said this doesn't seem like the kind of story people will want to read here as it breaks one of the rules (no excessive violence) and doesn't seem to do it in service to a very sexy idea. If you are doing it as a straight non erotic story that is... ok I guess? It would be interesting to see a version of the site that only did that so people could write chyoa fiction but mostly what we do is erotica.

 

[mindtheMILF]

Well written story. Sure there is violence as mack2028 mentions, but better be on the border of the rules then be confined as a writer. The story works and as a quest story there is interaction with the readers which can control that violence. I hope to see more.

 

[majus]

I looked at the story and saw the massive list of characters and just tuned out. I don't want to be a dick but it seemed like way too much effort to understand what is going on in that story. That being said this doesn't seem like the kind of story people will want to read here as it breaks one of the rules (no excessive violence) and doesn't seem to do it in service to a very sexy idea. If you are doing it as a straight non erotic story that is... ok I guess? It would be interesting to see a version of the site that only did that so people could write chyoa fiction but mostly what we do is erotica.

Allow me to answer your concerns mack2028, starting with the number of characters.
There are four characters - make it five at the beginning: executioner, liege, sister, convict and (only mentioned) victim. I wouldn't describe five as a massive number... or are you talking about something else?
As for rules - the story doesn't break rules. If it would, it would be banned by the admin before it was even published. Anything that I think, that might break the rules, I consult with moderators before publishing it.
As for people not wanting to read that kind of story - I actually shared your sceptisism. I first published the first 3 chapters on 'Quest Story Proving Grounds', fully excpeting to be lynched for such a heretic idea... but to my surprise, I wasn't. Few people actually showed interest in the idea - which I must say was little... suprising.
It will be rather strong story, but that's why I put a forewarnings at the beginning and in the description - to make sure all readers were warned.
As for it being erotic - well, it will be. That's why I published it on chyoa. It would fit into BDSM and Non-Consent categories, but there will be consensual scenes as well as others.

It isn't a typical chyoa erotic story - that is true.

 

[mack2028]

That's fine I guess, I must have misunderstood because when I looked at the first chapter when it first came out there was a list of something like 20 things. I guess those are maybe just initial options? Like I said I didn't really understand when I first read it.

 

[mack2028]

I guess just 18, though I don't get into the quest ones though they do seem to be popular lately. The violence thing stands though, I am worried some of my stuff is going to get me in trouble and it doesn't involve the promise of brutal vividly described executions.