USF -

[DoAdventures]

Hello all,

Link to the story
https://chyoa.com/story/Ultimate-Surrender-federation.8554

firstly I would like to thank everyone that has viewed, liked and contributed so far to my newest story and I'm overwhelmed that it is story of the week.

Secondly, I'm on the hunt for some help / feedback and contributions or ideas on where and how you would like it to go?

Thanks

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

The introduction doesn't GRAB people and give them a good reason to look past the front page.

 

[DoAdventures]

The introduction doesn't GRAB people and give them a good reason to look past the front page.

The first chapter by far out likes any other chapter within the story, but thank you for the above.

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

They almost always do, but...

 

[DoAdventures]

They almost always do, but...

But...?

I only mentioned the above as I've found the majority of my more "successful stories" don't tend to have "the most likes" on the first chapter, if I'm using that as a barometer to understand your first message.

When it comes to writing a wrestling type story though, I've found (In my opinion) that it's a different kind of reader. More focused of the availability of characters and although interested in match types, outside factors, deeper story lines and I'll be honest proved to big a project for me.

 

[Nemo of Utopia]

If that's been your experience, then stick with what's working.