At the Cabin

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by johnhoftb, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Yes, over the various threads, Vicky only didn't have sex with Kurt. The farthest they got was spooning in my thread, like Yarkoz said, and some interaction on thread written by Patzo, where she sucked on him for a while and he came over Ashley and her.
     
  2. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    That's true, nearly forgot, duskford -- a shared blowjob is a bit further than than spooning in my opinion :)
     
  3. henrytemp

    henrytemp Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    So I broke off of Duskford's thread with a scene between Vicky and Kurt. I plan to continue it as a long thread. I mentioned I had some ideas I wanted to try that didn't fit my main thread and Dusk asked about them.

    I guess first I have to give a spoiler on my main thread. I came up with a few rules for that thread before I started writing. The big rule was that I had to put off anyone in the cabin having sex with anyone else in the cabin for as long as possible. The idea was to build up as much tension as possible between the characters before it finally explodes. (I had two possible exceptions- Brandon/Ashley and Kurt)

    So right away in the new thread I've blown that up and now all the characters will have to deal with the aftermath. One idea I want to play with is two characters trying to hook up but trying to keep it completely secret. Similar to what Vain is doing with Zack and Ashley in his newer thread. But this wouldn't be a cheating situation. My thought right now is for it to be Chloe and Gavin. In my main thread I have them on an arch but it's a very wide arch that keeps them apart until near the end. In this thread I want them to do the opposite and hopefully it will provide for some fun scenes.

    In my main thread Kurt has a pretty good shot at 3 of the girls. I think once word gets out about Vicky he loses any chance at the others. The exception here is Heather. Though I haven't had any real motivation to bring them together, the notion of him getting revenge on her opens some possibilities. Nothing violent or anything like that. It would be more something like his revenge leading to awkward scene leading to whatever. I'd also like to explore how he handles Victoria. Does he keep up the charade? Can he keep up the charade? And will he feel bad for hurting her?

    Those are kind of ideas so far for the new thread that differ greatly from the main thread. Also I can have Brandon/Ashley have more fun since there's nothing driving a wedge between them right away and certainly some stuff between Heather and Zack.

    I have to say thanks, Duskford for the Vicky-Kurt idea. this will give me a chance to take a break from the main thread without just resorting to one-off scenes.
     
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  4. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    All good ideas, henrytemp. I like the idea of Chloe and Gavin sneaking around to hook up, it opens a lot of interesting possibilities, what with them being inexperienced and smart enough to hide in a place no one would look at. I agree that by taking Victoria, Kurt will lose the others; to have him be with Heather, it'd probably have to be some sort of hate sex, like on the thread Yarkoz wrote, or having him trick her into it, maybe even winning a bet against her or something along these lines. Brandon/Ashley can work too, we usually find some way to split them on the other threads, so keeping them together might be interesting.

    You're welcome, it's an idea I really wanted to see developed, and I must say you did it very well. Great work!
     
  5. henrytemp

    henrytemp Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    I thought I'd talk about where I'm going in my main thread too just to give you all an idea of where I'm going.

    I have two love triangles involving Zack and Kurt. One with Ashley and one with Victoria. I've set the Ashley one in motion as it's pretty easy- Kurt is secretly trying to hook up with her and Zack is trying not to hook up with her but will keep getting thrown into situations with her. The Vicky one is a bit harder. I haven't started her arch with Kurt yet but talked about my plans for it before. The challenge is how to have her balance Kurt and Zack since both would be openly wooing her. While it may be two love triangles the truth is all 4 are on a collision course and I have some scenes planned out down the road I really like.

    The other storyline is Gavin-Chloe. Up until I posted the scenes a few days ago my plan had been to have Chloe and Brandon get together (thus the 'my hero' stuff) and Heather and Gavin to end up together. I've changed my mind. (though mind is subject to change again haha) I'm now planning a long arch between the two that will bring them together briefly before separating them completely, then bringing them back together at the end. Of course Heather and Brandon will still play parts in this.

    Brandon and Heather I've struggled with. Their teasing and eventual crossing of some line (not sure how far) was supposed to be the catalyst for Ashley and Kurt but I have struggled with every scene with them together. It probably shows in my writing in those scenes. So I see little chance of them ending up together. I guess I'll see how it plays out.

    Other stuff- I never planned the Chloe-Kurt stuff. It came about as a happy little accident when I decided I wanted him away from the lake so Zack could be alone with Vicky and Heather. But the scenes have been fun and I have a few more planned out. I like the scenes between Kurt and Chloe because they are so different than the scenes between Kurt and Ashley. Kurt is a dog regardless, but since Ashley has a boyfriend I think he views her, in that thread, with a bit of malevolence. ie "She's just another cheating whore" like the girl who broke his heart. (my plan is that his attitude toward her will change at some point) On the other hand with Chloe it's all about a naive hottie that he just wants to enjoy. He's still a dog, but it's more playful.

    anyway thanks all for reading and for the feedback. appreciate it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2015
  6. Cretan_Bull14

    Cretan_Bull14 Really Experienced

    Hey all! Now that I'm back from vacation, I'm going to start working on the "Victoria hates Zack" branch of my story line. I've altered a couple of threads to allow it to flow better. It may be a few threads before I get to the root of the problem, and it may not be what you expect it to be ;)
     
  7. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I've had the same problem when trying to hook up Brandon and Victoria on my main thread, because of Brandon. I find it hard to write romantic scenes involving him, it's easier to write scenes where he just fucks someone because of some repressed need/lust to be with a girl other than Ashley.

    Good to see you back, Cretan_bull14! I look forward to read how you're going to develop your idea, as it is a different theme no one did before.


    On another note, I also thought about sharing at least part of my future plans on here as well. A few posts back, I've said that it would require two stories for me to write the whole tale I want to tell. That said, I always wanted for the whole cabin/lake/park scenario to feel like the 9th character of the story, but as I added more characters and went deeper on the story, I've realized that the characters and their stories became more important than the place. So, the second part of my storyline will take place back at their hometown of Azure Rocks, where I'm going to delve into its darkest secrets and continue the characters' stories initiated on "At The Cabin". I'm thinking about having them deal with a mystery at their school over the last couple months they have on there before graduation. Of course, there's still a lot to do on "At The Cabin" as the 'bear suits' mystery heads to a conclusion.
     
  8. maxmin99

    maxmin99 Virgin

    duskford, Will Zack and Heather and victoria still b together at end of story, I think they look great
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2015
    Duskford likes this.
  9. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    That's my plan, maxmin99, at least for now. I'm trying to write the story in a more open way in the case I want to change my mind later if some plot doesn't work out.
     
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  10. maxmin99

    maxmin99 Virgin

    I hope that the plot that require them to separate never ever come
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2015
  11. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Well, right now only Zack and Heather are together, and they'll split very soon. It'll only be later on the story that the three of them can come together.
     
    maxmin99 likes this.
  12. maxmin99

    maxmin99 Virgin

    So far story is coming very good
     
  13. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    Would someone like to take on the kitchen table option for a bold Zack carrying his crush and surprise new sex partner Hannah out of her bedroom on his cock?

    I've explored a couple of other options (her window ledge, his bedroom) but there seem some nice follow-up options open if anyone feels inspired.

    Start with
    to take Hannah to the kitchen table,

    or start with
    to carry her to a bed where Heather and Zack's big sister/Hannah's college roommate Taylor are sprawled, blissed out after their orgasms.
     
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  14. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I was thinking about writing the kitchen table variant, but as I already had planned to write them on a pool table in my main threads, I felt that I'd just end up repeating myself, even if my Hannah is slightly different from the one on these threads.

    But I agree that there's a lot of options for follow ups, such as the kitchen table, the bed where Taylor and Heather are passed out, in the bathroom during a shower, out on the deck, etc.
     
    Zingiber likes this.
  15. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    I'd like to see a shower scene. Hopefully they have some grip strips to help keep their footing.
     
  16. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Your latest thread also offers a few interesting outcomes, the one where Zack and Hannah hide under his bed and someone is about to enter the room. Kerion01 suggested they could be treated to the sight of someone else having sex, but as that bedroom is shared by Zack, Chloe and Gavin, it'd probably be a bit unlikely, given Chloe and Gavin's current mindsets.

    A fun scene I've thought of is about Chloe coming back to the room and start changing her clothes, making Zack horny. Then it can split into different ways as well, such as Zack beginning to fondle Hannah, Hannah starting to tease him, or even both of them springing out naked from under the bed and surprising the hell out of Chloe. Maybe Hannah can give a crash course of sex education to Chloe.
     
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  17. henrytemp

    henrytemp Really Experienced CHYOA Backer

    oh man the story is in a lull right now, myself included. hopefully it can pick back up soon. always more fun with lots of threads to read.
     
  18. Torg

    Torg Really Experienced

    I'm working on another thread -- a Zach and Chloe thread.
     
  19. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I always aim to post a thread every two days, at least, and there has been a few recent threads by Zingiber, manmanzane and you, but it's been almost a month since we saw anything from great authors like Yarkoz, Patzo, Vain and Cretan_bull14. Like you said, let's hope it can pick up back soon.

    On another note, I've had a new idea for another different beginning thread. On that one, nothing happened in the past to make the two groups within the gang (Zack, Chloe and Gavin) (Victoria, Heather, Ashley and Brandon) to join together, and they only know each other from being in the same year at school. Then, on the break, Zack's group would have been there to camp and meet Heather's group, who was at the park to spend the break at the cabin. It could probably make for some new interesting situations if they aren't close like in the main setup.
     
    Zingiber likes this.
  20. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    I exist! Things have just been busy on my end with life, and really, the muse hasn't been with me as much unfortunately. I also adopted a couple of stories as well, "Conjugal Visits" and "The Great Outdoors" that I've been cleaning up at bit -- and Patzo graciously added to the latter just now. I will return everyone, don't fret ;)