At the Cabin

First, thanks for the thread johnhoftb, combing through the comments was becoming annoying. Second, I agree the characters are a bit cliche, but I find them are fun to explore. Duskford has a large world with a lot of potential, like a sandbox.

I have my own random pairings I'll be contributing, but anyone else is welcome to add to them.
 
Thanks for creating this topic, johnhoftb. :)

While I agree that the characters are based on cliches, I also think that's part of the fun. Like Yarkoz said, it's like a sandbox where we put those characters, point them in various directions and see what happens to them. On another note, I'm beginning to add more characters on my threads, I think it's a way to spice up the story even more.
 
I think I should go ahead and post a couple of more things.

First things first, as y'all have seen, the story is up as the Story of the Week. Not sure when it stops, but hopefully this can bring in more than just us three as writers, cause I'd really like to see other folks' ideas.

Secondly, I've been thinking of ways to bring more characterization to Heather. Right now, all we know is she is a cheerleader, an avid gamer, and has a crush/fallen for Zack. My thinking is bringing her more as a foil to Kurt by showing off their similarities while at the same time contrasting the their differences.

I've been thinking that both Kurt and Heather are manipulators, but they differ in their methods. Where as Kurt is someone who I could see bashing every single button a person has, Heather is someone who gets know you and then pushes the right buttons to get what she or others want.

On relationships, Heather wants a relationship, but doesn't mind a few flings, while Kurt is looking for some conquests and having a conquest stick with him just being a bother.

Thirdly, I'm thinking we could establish more of Kurt's character, maybe why he's such a dick. Not take away any of his dickishness, but just give him a reason why.

Finally, I have a couple of ideas for new characters, a nymphomanic, and a pornstar on vacation. Not entirely sure how to write them in, but hopefully y'all can find ways to do so.
 
Yeah, I saw it, thanks to whoever pinned the story as Story of the Week.

About Heather, I've been including her more in my storyline. As head cheerleader, she attracts a lot of attention, usually from jerks who doesn't treat her well. So she saw Zack as the epitome of a good guy and set her sights on him; I'm not sure if I'll make her really in love with him specifically or just the idea of him, and this is where Gavin can step into the picture. Your analysis of her pining for a relationship but not minding a few flings is correct, I think.

As for Kurt, I've been thinking of explaining his dickishness as him having his heart broken by a girl in the past. He fell in love with her, but she was just looking for a good time and that ended up creating Kurt as we know him today, a man who doesn't believe in love and just replicates his old crush's behavior.

As far as new characters go, I'm saying go ahead to everyone who wants to write in a few. It would greatly expand the story's universe. Now that I talked about Kurt's old crush, maybe someone will want to bring her into the fold, perhaps tying up with johnhoftb's idea of a nymphomaniac or even the pornstar.
 
Congratulations to the story of the week.

I love the story a lot. But I`m not a native speaker and haven`t contributed myself.

All of you have written very good chapters for the story. I love the Romance between Zack and Chloe. I hope you have some ideas to develop their story after their happy end in the cave.

Also the Story between Heather and Gavin is working well.

The Birding Scene with Gavin and Victoria may be a bit extreme and unexpected.

There may be a few options with Brandon and Ashley. Maybe Ashley would search for other ways to broaden their sexual Horizon without damaging friendships.

The character of Kurt should be used more. Maybe the girls should be more oblivious of his intentions. He should take a more active role in seduction and corruption.
 
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Don't let that stop you, lorderotica, I'm not a native speaker either.

One thing that I find useful to discuss is the pairings on the story, other writers can use it as a base. The way I see it, Zack has two main pairings that he could pursue, Victoria or Chloe, with Heather and Ashley being a more alternate path to follow. Johnhoftb is doing such a wonderful job in writing the Zack/Chloe pairing that I decided to focus on my Zack/Victoria storyline. But that doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to read other writer's take on the story.

Then there is the option of thinking outside the box and mix the pairings, leading them to situations that normally wouldn't happen. This is where Yarkoz is doing a very good job with his threads of mixed pairings. Writers that didn't like the main pairings can follow this route as well.
 
On Kurt, I like the idea of him being jilted in a bad relationship, and I'm thinking of a storyline like Duskkford suggested of having Kurt's ex be a nymphomaniac, as per Johnhoftb's idea for a new character. That could've warped Kurt's attitude to relationships in general and led him to the idea of domination over women because he sees them as "sluts." But I'll continue my storylines for a bit longer first before I think about that further. I don't necessarily want Kurt to be completely redeemed if there is a storyline with his ex that explains his behavior, but that might make him more tolerable.

I agree with your assessment of Heather and Kurt Johnhoftb, and I was thinking something along the same lines. Both are very sexual active but in different ways. Hence, I'm thinking she might perceive Gavin as more of a fling as opposed to Zack who she would really want to be with. Maybe someone could take up a storyline where Zack and Heather share a room and the story proceeds from there? I can sense that it wouldn't go over well with Gavin in that timeline, though I wonder how he would react in Johnhoftb's Zack/Chloe storyline to their relationship.

I like to think of my contributions as the "broken universe" where weird mixes occur, as Duskfrord said, where a normal conclusion of events don't necessarily happen, like Zack and Ashley's sudden sexual encounter. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how events can progress after a time, and that's where I am with Gavin and Victoria. Duskford suggested some very good ideas, and I think I have a way to make it work, but I wouldn't mind more input. I'm also thinking of another track of pairings, though with perhaps a softer focus with more voyeurism or group activities. Lorderotica, you gave me a good idea of Ashley broadening her sexual horizons by experimenting with Brandon more and floating the idea of a threesome or something like that. I like abnormal pairings and situations in erotica, like strangers or people in other relationships or creative incest between relatives, and I'm happy to contribute to Duskford's universe here.

That said, watching Duskford and Johnhoftb flesh out the Zack/Victoria and Zack/Chloe story lines is a treat. I'm greatly looking forward to where they take them.
 
About Heather, I admit that I'm kind of split on her since I started putting her more on the spotlight, I began seeing her as a real possibility for Zack, along with Victoria and Chloe. As for a possible relationship between her and Gavin, at least on my storyline the current status is that he has a crush on her and she seems to be in love with Zack; even if he's with a good friend of hers, I think it would be interesting to explore Heather's limits on what she could do to get Zack for herself.

To be frank, even if Gavin and Heather got together, I don't think a relationship between them would work when they return from the cabin, Gavin is too much insecure to date someone like Heather. On that note, I'm surprised no one suggested a pairing between Gavin and Chloe yet. ;)

On the new characters' front, I'm thinking about adding a friend of Brandon from the football team. It started to bother me that he doesn't have anyone from his own group of friends on the trip.
 
Yarkoz said:
I like to think of my contributions as the "broken universe" where weird mixes occur, as Duskford said, where a normal conclusion of events don't necessarily happen, like Zack and Ashley's sudden sexual encounter. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how events can progress after a time, and that's where I am with Gavin and Victoria. Duskford suggested some very good ideas, and I think I have a way to make it work, but I wouldn't mind more input. I'm also thinking of another track of pairings, though with perhaps a softer focus with more voyeurism or group activities. Lorderotica, you gave me a good idea of Ashley broadening her sexual horizons by experimenting with Brandon more and floating the idea of a threesome or something like that. I like abnormal pairings and situations in erotica, like strangers or people in other relationships or creative incest between relatives, and I'm happy to contribute to Duskford's universe here.

That said, watching Duskford and Johnhoftb flesh out the Zack/Victoria and Zack/Chloe story lines is a treat. I'm greatly looking forward to where they take them.
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I'd be interested in seeing unusual connections. Maybe Ashley will navigate from a threesome just for fun to taking home two boyfriends. Maybe a woman will be better at coaxing Chloe out of her shyness. Maybe Kurt will talk Gavin into setting up a secret camera or microphone. Maybe one of the big sisters will show up and tip things sideways.

Enjoying the story!

-Z.
 
The camera idea is very interesting, Zingiber, I can just see Kurt driving Gavin back to town to get the things needed to make it work. The big sisters will arrive in my storyline later and the groups will interact, let's see what comes out of it.
 
duskford said:
To be frank, even if Gavin and Heather got together, I don't think a relationship between them would work when they return from the cabin, Gavin is too much insecure to date someone like Heather. On that note, I'm surprised no one suggested a pairing between Gavin and Chloe yet. ;)
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I've been thinking of using a relationship between Gavin and Heather in order to break down some of Gavin's insecurities, even if it doesn't work out.

I'm not to entirely sure how a Gavin and Chloe relationship would start. Possibly an accidental kiss or catching someone having sex like the others have been doing?

duskford said:
On the new characters' front, I'm thinking about adding a friend of Brandon from the football team. It started to bother me that he doesn't have anyone from his own group of friends on the trip.
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It's quite possible that Brandon wants to spend time with these close friends and his girlfriend rather than spending time with his football buddies, whom he likely spends a lot of time with.


As for Kurt, I've been thinking of using Zack's sister, Taylor, in order to get him to realize he's being a douche by having him fall head-over-heels for her, try to play his game on her, her turning it around on him, and then calling him out on it. This would ultimately be a bittersweet ending (Kurt doesn't get the girl, but he is a changed man).
 
Yeah, I see your point about Gavin/Heather, it could help him but to think it would last, I just don't know. I don't plan to write beyond their time on the cabin.

About Gavin/Chloe, I see their relationship a bit like she has with Zack, but without the "taboo" of being childhood friends. Gavin feels intimidated by the other girls, so spending time with Chloe could lead to something else, maybe an accidental kiss or letting things get too far after watching someone, like johnhoftb said.

Yes, Brandon went on the trip to spend time with his girlfriend, but from the guys he's only close to Zack and a little to Gavin, Kurt he didn't even know before the trip. My idea is to bring in his friend along with the same group that'll bring the big sisters, maybe he is the younger brother of one of the guys or girls that'll arrive there.

I like your idea for Kurt, he doesn't have to necessarily have a bad ending.
 
johnhoftb said:
It's quite possible that Brandon wants to spend time with these close friends and his girlfriend rather than spending time with his football buddies, whom he likely spends a lot of time with.

As for Kurt, I've been thinking of using Zack's sister, Taylor, in order to get him to realize he's being a douche by having him fall head-over-heels for her, try to play his game on her, her turning it around on him, and then calling him out on it. This would ultimately be a bittersweet ending (Kurt doesn't get the girl, but he is a changed man).
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I do not think, that he needs his football team members in the cabin. Actually Brandon knows most the group. As we know he introduced both of the groups to each other.
If he needs a guy to talk there is Zack, if he needs someone for sports there would be Heather. Ashley is the leading part in the relationship with Brandon. If they decide to experiment it would be her initiative.

I think the Gavin with the hurt feeling could form a believable bond with the other outsider Kurt.


@duskford
In another Thread you asked about introducing celebrities. I think that the characters in the story are strong enough, that a guest starring celebrity would be of no use. But I am shure you wouldn`t have asked without a good idea.

I am thinking if contributing something myself but need time.
 
@lorderotica The celebrity thing I'm not really sure if I'll even use, but it's an idea for the let's say "kinky universe" that I started with the thread in which Zack becomes Heather's roommate. In my idea, Gavin would wander into the woods and find a vacationing actress of one of the superhero movies that he likes, then him being the geek that we all know and love would be ecstatic and maybe a sex scene could happen there.

As for the potential friend of Brandon's, he wouldn't be staying at the cabin with them. He would be in another cabin with another group, but would come to talk to Brandon every once in a while.
 
So guys, I was thinking about a plot twist for Gavin, but I wanted to ask here for more opinions. I have in mind a scenario in which Gavin sees the couples in the cabin (Zack/Victoria and Brandon/Ashley) acting all lovey dovey with each other and he decides that he wants that for himself with Heather. But then he figures that to make her take an interest in him, he has to shed all his issues (shyness, low opinion of himself) and find a way to act more confident. With that, he makes a decision to stop being his old self and starts to use his intelligence and resourcefulness to make Heather notice him, do things for her and all. Do you guys think that this would be a believable scenario?
 
He could always try and fail but still get her attention. Maybe she begins to wonder why is acting all weird. My general rule is what creates the most drama and go with that.
 
Being confronted such as that I believe Kurt's initial reaction would be reactionary offense. Maybe trick Zack somehow, get to mistakenly sleep with his sister. as retaliation. The end result being the siblings continuing the sexual relation much to Kurt's dismay... and Taylor being the older and still having unresolved feelings for Kurt chooses to convince Zack to create a situation where there is a lack of a way for Kurt retaliate further. That would could force him to turn his fury inward, and deal with his own demons.

Taylor's age and own interest add to the reason of why she would think of Kurt at all; And how he may react further and what would be best for him. Such thoughts would gift wrapt the realization that him manipulating a naive Zack was a failed attempt to humiliate her. Furthermore, I believe it would help the scene further if her reasoning to 'help' Kurt instead of 'hurt him is explained with pre-existing feelings for him...

As an added bonus this would add the category tag of Incest to duskford's quandary.
johnhoftb said:
... As for Kurt, I've been thinking of using Zack's sister, Taylor, in order to get him to realize he's being a douche by having him fall head-over-heels for her, try to play his game on her, her turning it around on him, and then calling him out on it.
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Reading a thread where Ashley convinces Zack that she is who he wants to be with, is what I have been daydreaming. Of course, the whole stealing a best friend's girl and other drama would just make it interesting. I have thought of writing it but am apprehensive about how duskford and others would react to it. Furthermore, I can be rather slow in developing threads further past their initial concept on my own.

In addition to the emotional turmoil involved. The way that came to my mind for Ashley to 'want' Zack is that he got her pregnant. That of course would be dialogue for 'after' the cabin; And, I am unsure if duskford wants people to go beyond the Cabin element. I mean, of course there would still be plenty of things said and drama at the cabin; But, that could be somewhat hinted at in flashbacks or just them referring to past conversations. Such as, it being difficult to 'forget' what someone says regardless of how much emotion is present.

The idea of how Ashley could know how Zack is the father is for genetic reasons. They can do prenatal genetic testing while unharming the fetus in any way as it grows. Say there was some genetic disease Brandon's family has and they now can eliminate while the child is in the womb. The specialist doctor could be a friend of Brandon's family and be obligated to tell him and from there Ashley's situation could help her decide... and add further drama. A genetic disease such as being predisposed to colon cancer. I believe most would choose to alter those particular genes if given the opportunity.

There are several possible paths from there. One more mischievous one being that Zack and Ashley pushed it past them as he went on to gain Victoria's interest. Being a month or two down the road, Zack wouldn't be the only one with misgivings with the idea of stealing their best friends lover.

Then my personal favorate of a category tag impregnation could be added to further frustrate duskford's dilema. ;)
Yarkoz said:
...
I like to think of my contributions as the "broken universe" where weird mixes occur, as Duskfrord said, where a normal conclusion of events don't necessarily happen, like Zack and Ashley's sudden sexual encounter. Unfortunately, I'm not sure how events can progress after a time...
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Thanks for your input, 2p1k3. I like to give freedom to everyone who contributes to the story to add their own take, no matter how weird or kinky it may be, so don't worry about my reaction. As for writing beyond the two weeks at the cabin, I've never gave much thought to it because none of the writers got past the second day on their threads, myself included, but if you want to do it, go ahead. Although I had some fleeting thoughts about a sequel, taking place in two or three years, where they would return to the cabin, with different relationships amongst them and bringing the younger sisters along for the ride.

Regarding a Zack/Ashley story where she would be the main girl, it could be interesting because surely it would be the one with the most drama. I don't know if Yarkoz plans on making Ashley leave Brandon for Zack in his thread, but the idea is there if you or someone else wants to do it.
 
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