At the Cabin

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by johnhoftb, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Thanks for the input, Yarkoz. Yeah, Heather is my favorite character as well and she fits the current story better, although I feel that Victoria would be a better fit for the sequel. I guess that I'll just have to find a balance to give the first story a great ending that also sets up a good scenario for the sequel.
     
  2. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    I wonder if Heather will be satisfied with any one partner. I could imagine her leading Zack through a decade of sexual adventures, or perhaps being on and off with him until they have the "Want to start a family together?" talk. And maybe still they'd have an open marriage.

    Or maybe Zack will be Heather's shoulder to cry on and reliable fallback guy. That story could work for Vicky as well, though I think Z and V would have to discover something more in common that would keep them connected.
     
  3. johnhoftb

    johnhoftb Experienced

    You could create a separate thread with different timelines, allowing you to have your main storyline and allowing people with other favorite couplings or ideas on how the couplings would pair out to add to the story.

    For instance, I could create a story line where Zack marries Chloe instead of Heather or Victoria within the same story, but entirely separate from the main story.

    But going for canon, probably Heather.

    Also, on the issues with Vain's threads, try downloading Chrome, the Story Map seems to work on there.
     
  4. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Thanks for the feedback, guys. Your opinions match my concerns spot on, that is, could Heather settle for just one guy? Probably not until she's much older. Of course I could make her fall head over heels in love with Zack, but somehow I think it wouldn't be believable. For the scenario I have in mind for the sequel, I need Zack's wife to be someone faithful and for them to have gotten together early, like at the current story's time. Victoria or Chloe would fit in that scenario.

    Back to Heather, I think that the perfect pairing for her would be someone that has the same proclivities as hers, that would agree to be only fuck-buddies, oddly enough someone like Kurt.

    Also, I liked johnhoftb's idea of setting up different timelines, I think I'll do that if I ever get to write the sequel.

    The issue with Vain's threads I'm solving here with Opera, which I think it's built on the same engine as Chrome. The issue is probably related to Firefox only.
     
    Yarkoz likes this.
  5. 2p1k3

    2p1k3 Experienced

    Why not threads with other girls as well? I mean that it is eliminates the biological drive for inhibitions to leave just the social/emotional one. Therefore it would be easier for a psyche to control if that is what they want.
     
  6. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I'm not sure I understood what you meant, 2pk13. You mean using girls besides the four main ones just for threads or as Zack's final pairing? If it's the first case, I'm already planning to write scenes with Hannah and Taylor as well. If it's for endgame, Hannah could be a fit, maybe.
     
  7. 2p1k3

    2p1k3 Experienced

    I meant to suggest the later as an idea.

    I think the former would depend on an early branch illuminating the character of the woman the author wants to assimilate into the story... making it almost impossible to 'plan'.
     
  8. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    A thought on Chloe. Looking through the threads, I see one where she gets a suggestion to update her old sports bra with one with a larger, more appropriate cup size. It looks like there's an open angle for Heather and maybe Ashley to give Chloe a mini-makeover. With sensual hairbrushing, perhaps.

    Of course, in the makeover department, Gavin would probably like Chloe to cosplay as Sailor Jupiter (tall, strong, auburn-haired, green and white schoolgirl outfit). If they got together at the cabin, it seems like a possible development after they get back.
     
  9. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I've had a similar idea, Zingiber. I'm planning to write a scene where Chloe dresses as Black Widow for Zack or Gavin, since she has red hair and large breasts. I think it would work on both of them, they're both geeks, Gavin's just a little more than Zack.
     
  10. Vain

    Vain Experienced

    Hey, and sorry for not checking in here on the forums all that often!

    I like the idea of a sequel story line, and like others have already said I guess it could need a few different options on how the first part actually turned out in the end... But that would be one hell of a job! So perhaps rather go with just one 'general' story line, which is vaguely hinting back to what just may have happened back in the cabin all those years ago.
    Like, perhaps a whole lot of things happened back then, but once it was all over it somehow turned out with these specific coupling: For example, Zack+Vicky etc... If the story is mostly about their kids or something, then it really shouldn't take into account the hundreds of parallel universes that 'could' have happened back in the original story. So just keep them apart, so to say...
     
  11. Vain

    Vain Experienced

    Regarding my own contribution to the story, I apologize for just droning on and on forever. ;) I just happened to find a story and a bunch of characters that I really like, and just can't stop writing about. Don't let my ideas somehow hinder any of you from writing similar match-ups, because if I keep on like this I'll eventually be touching more than just a few of them... I think the main goal just may be to have everyone get a little bit of everyone...

    Thanks a lot to Duskford for providing this excellent story! And to the rest of you for contributing to the ideas! ;)
     
  12. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Thanks, Vain! I don't think there's any need for an apology, your threads are great in that exactly sense of everyone getting to hook up with everyone, it's been a great read so far.

    Regarding the sequel, the way I'm planning it, I don't think it would be so difficult to set up different timelines. I'm thinking of writing the first thread along these lines: Zack is driving his car on the road to the lake and he reminisces that he had a great time there on that Spring Break twenty years ago, then he smiles and look to his side to his beloved wife. Then I would stop the thread and leave the hook "Who's his wife?", then everyone that read and contributed to the first story could write a thread choosing who they'd want to be his wife and setting up a backstory; or in the case of someone that didn't read the first one, they could create a new character or something.

    What do you guys think?
     
  13. Vain

    Vain Experienced

    Ah, that's an interesting idea!

    Then I'm really looking forwards to seeing what you make out of it.
    Was the idea to be about a nice holiday weekend with old friends to relive some old memories?
    Or are they bringing their kids to meet their good friends? (I remember growing up like that, with the kids of my parent's friends being about as close to me as cousins - and, by chance, we were always meeting up with them at this little cabin out in the woods by a lake...)
    The latter would be an awesome setup for a story really, with great possibilities for semi-incestuous relationships, if that would happen to be part of your kinks...
     
  14. XJ347

    XJ347 Virgin

    Interesting idea on a sequel. Having it 20 years ago, allows you to have their children also be of age. They may or may not have been conceived at the cabin LOL.

    As for Vain, I say keep up the good work, I LOVE the volume of text you make. I appreciate the breaks between sex, that keeps the story interesting! Keep doing what you are doing. Ohhh, and I really like the slow corruption of Victoria, she should be open to sleeping with a guy soon.
     
  15. Vain

    Vain Experienced

    The more I think of it, I'd love to follow the son and daughter of Zack and Vicky, as they try and share a room in the cabin. While enjoying the company of Ashley and Brandon's boisterous kids, or the quite uneven offspring of Heather and Gavin (one being a geek, and the other a total attention-seeker? Or possibly just one kind of hybrid between the two of them...) 'Aunt' Chloe could have a role as well, or her rather timid offspring after the unlucky pairing with 'uncle' Kurt...

    Well, that's just a couple of ideas, that's all... ; )
     
  16. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    The general idea would be for them to go for a vacation at the lake and bring their kids, who would be of age. All of the main eight characters from the first story would be there in some capacity, but I still didn't plan what kind of relationships they would have with each other after 20 years. What I do know for certain is that Zack will marry Chloe and that will carry on to the sequel.

    I ended up choosing Chloe because of the stuff we already talked about a few posts earlier, Heather has the chemistry and the things in common, but she won't be able to settle for a steady relationship until she's much older; and as for Victoria, Zack doesn't have much in common with her. With Chloe he has it all, chemistry, things in common, they know each other very well, the list goes on.

    Zack will marry Chloe, Brandon and Ashley will still be together and I'm thinking of having Gavin marry Chloe's younger sister. I still didn't think too much about the future of Victoria, Heather and Kurt, to be honest.

    With all that and their of age kids, it'll provide the writers with plenty of stuff to go for a lot of different pathways, kinky or not. And that's just my timeline, there will be the other ones written by other writers as well.
     
    Zingiber likes this.
  17. XJ347

    XJ347 Virgin

    You don't have to forcefully interject all the old characters into a new story. If Victoria loses her cherry to Zack and then Zack picked Chloe... She might have cut ties with the both of them! She thought Zack wasn't one of those jerks but he proved her wrong. I like Victoria so feel free to bring her back LOL.

    I'm 100% ok with Kurt disappearing, dudes probably in prison OR he turned his life around and wants nothing to do with the old him.

    Don't forget the cast will be pretty big when you add in all the children, so pruning the cast a bit isn't the worst idea.
     
  18. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Yeah, I'm leaning towards Chloe, but let's see where the story takes me, lol. Most of the time it's the story that writes itself.

    I see what you mean about the big cast, besides the children there'll be a few new characters, friends of the parents and friends of the kids, so it isn't too much of an absurd to not bring all of the old cast back.

    One timeline that came to me over the last hour that I found a little interesting to work with would be Zack to start dating Victoria on the first story but have them break up because of the long distance thing on college. Then after losing contact with Vicky, he would hook up with Heather, maybe even marrying her. Then Heather would get pregnant and freak out, divorcing Zack just after the baby is born. They wouldn't lose contact, just raise the baby alternatedly. Then, when the baby is 18 and the second story begins, Zack could meet Victoria again at Silver Lake, she would have become an actress and is at the lake filming a movie, starting the adventures again. It wouldn't be the main storyline, but it would be a strange and different scenario to work with.
     
  19. XJ347

    XJ347 Virgin

    Another option is to have an offscreen death between the two stories. Chloe/Heather could have died in a car accident, so when they reunite at the cabin Zack has the kids but none of the baggage.

    Just an option to prune the characters down a little.
     
  20. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I'm thinking of branching my storyline in the first story into a "Chloe's Path" and a "Victoria's Path" and then later developing both of them at the sequel.

    On the Chloe's path, Zack and Chloe would start discovering each other and, thrilled with that, they would embark in a hot exploring relationship. As for Victoria, she would meet an ex of hers that will come with Taylor's group and allow herself to get closer to him again. Heather would start doing what she came to the cabin for, enjoy herself.

    On the Victoria's path, it would be more of a slow burn relationship, they would get to know each other better and then start getting sexual. Chloe would begin a journey of testing her body, to experience new feelings and sensations. As for Heather, the same as the other path.