At the Cabin

umbra said:
Now that's a better explanation and I can see why you would want a do-over.

Some of those points are why I decided to start from the start. The history I have created using your work as a starting point addresses some of your issues.

A/Z/C have a brief history that explains C's issues, and to an extent Z's attraction to V. I wasn't planning on using the bears, but you did name the lake silver, so maybe a silver vein.

But just know that whatever you plan, you'll have people supporting your efforts.

-Umbra
Click to expand...

Thanks, umbra. If you have any questions while writing your threads, don't hesitate to ask here as well. You seen to have a lot planned, that's good.
 
I'm more used to writing complete stories than theads. Your initial idea has a ton of potential and as I was reading, as you and others put together these characters and history, my mind just started to roll with it. To me, Heather and Kurt have similar values regarding sex, but they were shaped differently because of how society views boys and girls. Zack is attracted to Victoria because of an unconscious and suppressed attraction to Ashley. Chloe has esteem issues because she's attracted to Zack and compares herself to the Ash/Vicky body type. Gavin is attracted to the idea of Heather but lacks the skill and confidence to ask her out. I've already mapped out in mind how I see these characters interacting.

It's funny how the mind works and this story is exactly what I needed right now. It's the perfect distraction from the writer's block I'm suffering with the other two stories I'm working on. So again, thank you for letting me play with your toys.

-Umbra
 
Yeah, that's the best way to do it. I also planned the story of my main thread divided in days, but I get sidetracked too much easily, resulting on the problems I'm facing.

Your plan seems very interesting, I'm really curious to read how these stories will unfold, and of course, how everything will end. Good luck with it!
 
I was talking to a friend and they helped figure out what was bothering me with Arrivals. I'll have to think on it. I may even be able to get it to work for me without a major rewrite and still have the characters in the right place for Sorting.
 
umbra said:
I was talking to a friend and they helped figure out what was bothering me with Arrivals. I'll have to think on it. I may even be able to get it to work for me without a major rewrite and still have the characters in the right place for Sorting.
Click to expand...

Great, it'll become even better, then!

As for my rewrite, a few plots and points I'll probably include:

- Zack being more prominent at their school, and having a friendly rivalry with Brandon (thinking about making him an athlete like Cretan_Bull14 did on his threads, but I'm not sure yet).
- Ashley and Brandon dating for a shorter period (from around eight months to a year, instead of two years).
- As I said on a previous post, Zack and Ashley having a previous friendship, maybe they met in place kids play and that's what caused Taylor and Hannah to meet. Later they ended up veering apart from each other due to different interests and got closer again on high school (myabe after Zack decided to play a sport, if I go that way).
- Victoria being the president of the student council.
- Victoria and Gavin being partners at chemistry class (something that was already largerly used on the alternate storylines; I just fail to remember who was the one that first thought about this).
- Chloe having that horny side of hers hidden since the beginning (the sexy werewolf, as Yarkoz said, lol).
- Heather and Kurt going through a love and hate kind of attraction that culminates in a hot encounter.
- Zack and Kurt start being friends sooner (maybe after some event where they relate to each other).
- Gavin and Kurt fighting over something.
- The rivalry between Zack and Brandon eventually gets more serious.
- Zack knows Jennifer from a summer camp he used to go and she was a counselor there (that's a plot we had originally thought for Kurt on the orgy storyline).

That's it for now, I'll continue to plan things later.
 
Duskford: Are you planning to rewrite as a Chyoa story here (alternate start to At The Cabin and/or new story), or do you think you have a storyline that would make sense as a Literotica series perhaps? (Chapters, but not interactive).

Some writers have versions of their stories both here and on Lit (Torg, notably; my Lit stories have no connection to my Chyoo/Chyoa stories)

-Z.
 
umbra said:
I was talking to a friend and they helped figure out what was bothering me with Arrivals. I'll have to think on it. I may even be able to get it to work for me without a major rewrite and still have the characters in the right place for Sorting.
Click to expand...
Sorting made me think immediately of Hogwarts. I wonder if Heather will play a little game to assign rooms. Were there four bedrooms? That would be sort of perfect.

Victoria...Ravenclaw!
Kurt...Slytherin!
 
And naturally Heather picks Gryffindor for both Zack and herself and makes a joke involving polyjuice potion and role-playing with him later.

By the way, Patzo! Good to see you!
 
Zingiber said:
Duskford: Are you planning to rewrite as a Chyoa story here (alternate start to At The Cabin and/or new story), or do you think you have a storyline that would make sense as a Literotica series perhaps? (Chapters, but not interactive).

Some writers have versions of their stories both here and on Lit (Torg, notably; my Lit stories have no connection to my Chyoo/Chyoa stories)

-Z.
Click to expand...

I was already posting my main storyline as chapters on Literotica, Zingiber. Whenever I finished up a day, I'd compile the threads in a chapter and post there. I already left a comment on my latest chapter there with a warning that I'll do a rewrite. I'll use the same system for the new story.


Patzo, good to see you around here too!


I don't know about Heather being a Gryffindor, I think she would fit better at Slytherin, along with Kurt, Shawn and maybe Hannah. Zack, Brandon and Lisa would be Gryffindors; Ashley, Chloe and Peter would be Hufflepuffs; Vicky, Gavin and Taylor would be Ravenclaws. That's my take, lol.
 
Hey all,

That's just great, now I'm going to have to rename Sorting things out to The sorting hat. Somehow that name feels wrong in a "Daddy he touched my pee pee" kinda a way for one of my few Kurt-centic threads.

I have Zack as a Runner, took up Martial Arts to try to get Gavin active but quit when that plan did not work.

-Umbra
 
umbra said:
Hey all,

That's just great, now I'm going to have to rename Sorting things out to The sorting hat. Somehow that name feels wrong in a "Daddy he touched my pee pee" kinda a way for one of my few Kurt-centic threads.

I have Zack as a Runner, took up Martial Arts to try to get Gavin active but quit when that plan did not work.

-Umbra
Click to expand...

Thinking about making him a basketball player or getting him even closer to Chloe as a soccer player (maybe he had some health issues in the past due to not exercising himself and then Chloe took upon herself to teach him how to play soccer, and there's a running joke that she plays better than him).

EDIT: Thinking about making a whole chapter, or at least a prologue, with everyone back at Azure Rocks having the idea of going to the cabin on Spring Break, and show how they get ready for it before actually going.
 
Last edited:
duskford said:
EDIT: Thinking about making a whole chapter, or at least a prologue, with everyone back at Azure Rocks having the idea of going to the cabin on Spring Break, and show how they get ready for it before actually going.
Click to expand...

I don't know why but that made me think of a two part Aif (Adrift/Tads) where the first part had you trying to get people to join your trip and the second part had you trying to score. Beyond my skill to make though.

For running soccer joke, she's a better ball handler.

-Umbra
 
umbra said:
I don't know why but that made me think of a two part Aif (Adrift/Tads) where the first part had you trying to get people to join your trip and the second part had you trying to score. Beyond my skill to make though.

For running soccer joke, she's a better ball handler.

-Umbra
Click to expand...

Maybe it could work as an AIF with someone who could make it, lol. Anyways, my idea consists mainly of the girls sitting together at lunch and Heather saying "Hey, we should totally go to my dad's cabin next week, it'll be really fun!". Then they start inviting the boys, and after everyone is on board, I can show them making the preparations and have them think about what they want from the trip.

LOL, good joke! If Chloe was a goalkeeper it'd be spot on.
 
Zack makes a good athlete. When I first put that in my threads, I figured it was the best way to explain why Brandon chose him as his tutor. A good scene for a prequel would be that first interaction, where Brandon walks into the library for his tutor assignment.

BRANDON: SHIT! I still can't believe Coach is making me get a tutor. My grades are good enough!
ASHLEY: They're barely good enough for high school football, Baby, but not even close for college. Coach sees you going somewhere!
B: If you say so, Babe. But I'm warning you now, if they stick me with some dweeb with a pocket protector and glasses, he's going right into one of those lockers!
HEATHER: Relax Brandon, you get to choose your tutor. Pick someone you have something in common with. If it doesn't work out you can pick another. Now get in there, get your grades up and win us a state title!

(Brandon walks into the library and sees fellow athlete Zack sitting at one of the tables. He walks up to the hockey player and starts a conversation.)

B: Dude? Your coach send you for tutoring too?
ZACK: Hey Brandon! No, hockey season doesn't start for another month. I'm here because I am a tutor.
B: Bullshit! You ain't a tutor! You're a jock, like me. We're dumb and are supposed to pay these dweebs to do our homework for us, then pull their underwear over their heads to remind them of their place in the world.
Z: Well, I guess that means I'm your tutor now. Sit down and let's see what I've got to work with!
B: What do you mean you're my tutor?
Z: Well, one of the things you lug heads, sorry I mean jocks, have no concept of is how loud you are. You just insulted half the people in here and they all heard you. I highly doubt they'll be willing to hep you now, so we're stuck with each other.
 
Last edited:
Great snippet, Cretan_Bull14! Really Zack and Brandon there!

Although I don't plan on going back that far, I could make some references as to how they met. My plan is to go over the week leading up to the trip.
 
umbra said:
I don't know why but that made me think of a two part Aif (Adrift/Tads) where the first part had you trying to get people to join your trip and the second part had you trying to score. Beyond my skill to make though.

For running soccer joke, she's a better ball handler.

-Umbra
Click to expand...
I'm here for just about exactly that reason -- TADS/Adrift adventures are tougher to write than Chyoo!
 
One part got cut-off:

ZACK: Well, one of the things you lug heads, sorry I mean jocks, have no concept of is how loud you are. You just insulted half the people in here and they all heard you. I highly doubt they'll be willing to hep you now, so we're stuck with each other. And if you try pulling my underwear over my head, I'll knock your teeth out!
 
duskford said:
I don't know about Heather being a Gryffindor, I think she would fit better at Slytherin, along with Kurt, Shawn and maybe Hannah. Zack, Brandon and Lisa would be Gryffindors; Ashley, Chloe and Peter would be Hufflepuffs; Vicky, Gavin and Taylor would be Ravenclaws. That's my take, lol.
Click to expand...

I was figuring Brandon as a Hufflepuff too, like the Quidditch champ in The Goblet of Fire. So:

Here's my take:

Slytherin: Kurt, Hannah, Madison
Hufflepuff: Ashley, Brandon, Heather (as organizer and hostess)
Gryffindor: Chloe, Zack, Taylor, Lisa
Ravenclaw: Victoria, Gavin

Hannah is "anywhere but Ravenclaw"; I've picked Slytherin because she likes to work angles for her own fun and she would be pleased to be considered a snake charmer.

Heather goes to Hufflepuff because of her role as den mother.

Taylor could be anywhere, really. Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff for pre-med studies.

Madison to Slytherin for simmering resentment.
 
Nope, that's not how it's going to happen. The all plead to be put with their friends, so Hufflepuff (really, that autofills) has a banner year.

Uploaded the Arrivals edit. I feel a lot better about it. Ashley section was cut, may be added to next thread to be entitled "A Sorting, and a Hat" in honor of the recent posts.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top