A bit of venting/asking for advice

[SilverSpectre006]

So after giving it a go on writing my first story on chyoa and feeling I can do better with the skills I have required, I decided to jump to a new opportunity and explore a brand new story open and ripe with opportunities!

Problem is I’ve zero feedback and support towards it XD

I’ve given my new story, Monster Hunter, my all when it comes to writing and erotica, giving it a different spin on wanting to include some story to a typical fantasy erotica to see how the audience would respond. Either I’ve yet to find an audience or I don’t have anyone interested to begin with XD

I admit the first story I wrote, Private School, Public Life, was a practice story and I enjoyed writing it for what it was. But writer’s block along with a lack of support and little feedback stacked up and took its toll, having me put a stop to that story entirely and wanting to explore something new. I got tired of it pretty much, and the drive to continue aka the fans began to leave as well. Nothing lasts forever of course, and if the fans want me to return to writing more chapters I would happily comply.

I suppose I should get back to the point though, can you guys relate to a story that doesn’t seem to catch anyone’s eye? Have you got any advice for a stranger?

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Oh, and here are my two stories in case of any requests for links.

Private School, Public Life
https://chyoa.com/story/Private-school,-Public-life.19845

Monster Hunter
https://chyoa.com/story/Monster-Hunter.21210

 

[Zeebop]

Problem is I’ve zero feedback and support towards it XD

Yeah, that happens. Porn readership is fickle and by its nature most of the readers want to remain anonymous. Even if you write something brilliant, you might not hear about it from anybody. Which is to say: it's not just you.

I suppose I should get back to the point though, can you guys relate to a story that doesn’t seem to catch anyone’s eye? Have you got any advice for a stranger?

I tied continuation of my story to likes/bookmarks, which encourages a bit of feedback that way. I still don't get a lot of comments. To build that kind of reader's rapport, you really need to find something that catches the reader's attention and maybe solicit feedback/comments for how the story will go...and even then, there are no guarantees.

But that's no reason to give up! I fully believe that a good story that updates at least semi-regularly will find an audience. A large part of it is working to engage your readers - maybe through polls, or leaving "starter" comments so that they have something to respond to, or threads on the forum.

 

[SilverSpectre006]

Yeah, that happens... But that's no reason to give up! I fully believe that a good story that updates at least semi-regularly will find an audience.

So you’re saying stay strong, keep writing and in time you will find an audience?

I suppose you’re right, that’s how it happened with my first story. It began to spark intrigue in some people and when it became story of the week just an INSANE amount of viewership, likes and favorites hit me XD like over 200 notifications over night, my lord how I would love to see history repeat itself or surpass it somehow!

But alas, it is solid advice. Trouble is the chapters are long and I don’t want to rush it, my ‘schedule’ for it is two chapters per week so far. Would you say that’s good enough?

Also about engaging your audience, well you see to have a large one, what did you do before to engage your own audience? Just to give me a more personal example if you don’t mind XD

 

[Zeebop]

So you’re saying stay strong, keep writing and in time you will find an audience?

Pretty much.

But alas, it is solid advice. Trouble is the chapters are long and I don’t want to rush it, my ‘schedule’ for it is two chapters per week so far. Would you say that’s good enough?

I have no idea. I do two chapters a day and get moderate-but-regular likes, but then my story is a bit of a fringe thing, being fan fiction. All you really need is to grab the reader's imagination...and, of course, make sure you yourself are having fun!

Also about engaging your audience, well you see to have a large one, what did you do before to engage your own audience? Just to give me a more personal example if you don’t mind XD

Hah, I don't think I have a large audience. I have a fair number of favorites, but only about 7 people regularly "like" chapters - and that's in part because of the design of the story, with many relatively short branches. Stories with a single long branch tend to attract more likes, I find, because readers like to think that the story will continue on, whereas I prefer...more variety, more choices. Encouraging others to add their own chapters/branches helps too, I think.

 

[latexdoll]

Hi, just wanted to throw in my two cents. I had well over two hundred threads before I thought anyone was reading much of anything I wrote. Now I think people might actually like my writing. Sure I might be delusional as I still don’t get a lot of comments, but I at least have a few million views total and that makes me feel great. So I guess I’d say if you like writing, just keep writing. Before you know it you will have people following you, likes, views, and all the other happy things that will delude you into thinking you are good like it has to me.

 

[FreeUse92]

I don’t know if I’m qualified to give advice given I’m a shit writer and a shit reader. Also, your stories aren’t really my genre or the ones I find hot. But since you look like you really want feedback, I will try my best.

I’m going to ignore standard writing criticism since this is, to be honest, a porn site (though there are some good writers on here). I think regardless of what I say, there are always exceptions to any rules, and if we all knew how to make popular stories, we would write them.

Now onto my thoughts.

I’ve read some of the start of Monster Hunter, and the biggest problem is I think it is… directness? When I read a porn story here, I want to know the concept quickly, what kind of kinks or fetish I’m about to get and how exactly this story is going to interest me as a PORN story. When I read the first chapters, it comes off a generic fantasy. How to fix this? I mean… you could customize the hero more… you could customize the monsters more, or you could customize the way you deal with monsters. It seems like you are trying to write a demon hunting fantasy and just adding sex to it (which isn’t so much a problem as an observation). The way you write is fine, but it’s cold to me, but again you don’t write the genre I like so that may be more my problem than it is yours. There also seems to be a lot of pronoun confusion. You begin a lot with He or She and His, and I’m confused to who exactly. Maybe my problem with reading.

Also, in the end, there is not much choice, you can’t decide how you want to deal with the demon, you dictate. Even I do this, and other authors do as well, and there are always exceptions (lots of authors write in a straight line), but it would be nice if you get a choice or an illusion of choice.

I can’t precisely narrow what I think the problem with it if there is one, but I know it’s fantasy, and it doesn’t seem to flow to me. Like one action follow another, and I don’t understand it. The hunter will go find one monster and have sex with her and then another. It didn’t seem appealing to me. Again, perhaps only my problem and my taste and my reading of it and not yours.

For your second question, I had a problem, well I didn’t consider it a problem (more of a situation) since I was writing for fun, similar to yours. I wrote a fantasy story that was not that popular, and I thought it was interesting. On reflection and after reading some other fantasy stories on here, people were just better at writing fantasy and more committed than I was. I was caught up world-building instead of delivering a hot story, so my views trickled, and my likes went down, at least that’s how I thought. I went back to writing what I personally like reading in CHYOA and what I like writing and didn’t worry so much about being a great writer or storyteller. My second story was a lot more popular. I don’t know why. It didn’t felt like I put more effort into it, and it certainly didn't feel like it was written better. I guess it had a more compelling concept. In this site, the concept is everything, although like I said there are always exceptions and a good erotica writer can make a generic concept super hot and be able to connect with readers here.

So that comes back to you as a reader, what do you enjoy reading, and what do you enjoy writing? If there was another story on this site similar to the one you are writing, would you enjoy reading it?

I mean, if you truly wanted to have an audience; you need to understand the audiences here. Most seem to like incest… free use… mind control… power and god fantasies… fanfiction (especially fanfiction relating to nerd-dom) as far as the male audience is concerned. They seem to like the stuff they can’t find elsewhere in porn or erotic fiction. There are great erotic stories being published outside of here, what can they find here they can find nowhere else? And all of this is very customizable, not so much in just names but in the execution. That or write a thread on more popular stories you like and see if you get a response there.

Lastly, add tags.

 

[SilverSpectre006]

I don’t know if I’m qualified to give advice given I’m a shit writer and a shit reader. Also, your stories aren’t really my genre or the ones I find hot. But since you look like you really want feedback, I will try my best.

I’m going to ignore standard writing criticism since this is, to be honest, a porn site (though there are some good writers on here). I think regardless of what I say, there are always exceptions to any rules, and if we all knew how to make popular stories, we would write them.


Lastly, add tags.

Hey, thanks for the response. Been a while since I set up the post, I did not expect to find any other replies to it so I’m glad XD

I’m grateful for the feedback, even if not all of them are positive. The critical points I like to call tough love, where even if someone says you’re not a good writer you can still try and get better, even ask them what it is about your writing they dislike or find unappealing. So thanks for not pulling back any punches haha

I do agree with some of your points, my current story is a direct straight line and their isn’t much I can do for it in my personal view. My first story I attempted to divert and add alternate choices, but I think I’d rather focus on one narrative before branching out on another. Or perhaps get a second writer to help me there maybe? Nah, what makes me like my writing is that it’s my work overall XD

I apologize for the pronoun comment, I understand it can be a bit troubling to follow. I try and keep it steady and straightforward to let the reader know who is talking but like, sometimes you’ll have slip ups or your first attempt at correcting the mistake won’t work. It’s a step in progress and I need to keep check of that.

In truth, I wrote the story because I love how open the aspect of it is. It could go anywhere, and I love that. It’ll just be a slow build before I get to adding branching story paths. I wrote the post because I was a bit troubled (and admittedly stressed) that I hadn’t received many views, but I’ve kinda come to accept that it’s fine. The world won’t be ending because my story isn’t popular, it won’t stop me from adding more chapters, and most importantly I like it. I’m devoted to it, I wrote for it as a hobby. Ultimately, the number of views or likes or followers I gain from it should be just icing on the cake, because in the end the question to ask is simple, is this story for me or for the fans? Right now, it’s for me. But if it pleases others, even better

I appreciate you checking out my story even if the genre or direction isn’t your thing. An act of kindness from a stranger goes a long way. Also the tags thing, I suppose a few wouldn’t hurt I honestly forgot about them completely XD danke shön!

 

[SilverSpectre006]

Hi, just wanted to throw in my two cents. I had well over two hundred threads before I thought anyone was reading much of anything I wrote. Now I think people might actually like my writing. Sure I might be delusional as I still don’t get a lot of comments, but I at least have a few million views total and that makes me feel great. So I guess I’d say if you like writing, just keep writing. Before you know it you will have people following you, likes, views, and all the other happy things that will delude you into thinking you are good like it has to me.

Many thanks! I came to learn that myself and after hearing that sort of advice from other story writers. I forgot the key rule of writing for a moment during my post, why am I writing the story? To my enjoyment or to appeal to others? You want it to be a bit of both, but I believe the story is yours to tell. You should be writing it because you want to, because you find it enjoying. If you gather some fans along the way, even better

 

[SilverSpectre006]

Pretty much.


I have no idea. I do two chapters a day and get moderate-but-regular likes, but then my story is a bit of a fringe thing, being fan fiction. All you really need is to grab the reader's imagination...and, of course, make sure you yourself are having fun!


Hah, I don't think I have a large audience. I have a fair number of favorites, but only about 7 people regularly "like" chapters - and that's in part because of the design of the story, with many relatively short branches. Stories with a single long branch tend to attract more likes, I find, because readers like to think that the story will continue on, whereas I prefer...more variety, more choices. Encouraging others to add their own chapters/branches helps too, I think.

Sorry for the late response my guy, I’ve been busy. But thanks for the advice, you have my gratitude. A few days after the post I kind or realized it didn’t really mater if I got likes or attention, I just wanted to write what I wanted to tell. Getting some fans along the way is an extra, not a necessity.

Besides, one of the main kinks people have in this website is incest and I’m not sure if I can write what I’m not turned on by XD

But still, thanks for the advice mon ami

 

[gene.sis]

that I hadn’t received many views

You shouldn't rely on views at all. It's a pretty unreliable stat as it counts every time the chapter gets opened, no matter if it comes from a user or a search engine crawler. Hub chapters and early chapters will always get more views than chapters deeper down the story. If you publish three chapters at once, the second one might have fewer views than the first, third, and the parent chapter of the first one.

 

[Myocastor_Coypus]

All I might say you should probably take at arm's length; I studied a lot of classical literature according to a quite heavily codified curriculum, and I yet have people in my entourage who routinely discuss writing of all kinds. Perhaps my concerns represent a minority of your readersip.
I read the introductions of the two stories you linked up top there.
I'll start with Monster Hunter. I like the premise as far as I understand it, but I don't like the way you write. I think you are devoting more to writing what you think sounds good than to actually telling your story. There's many sentences that I feel have been arranged a certain way because of how they sound, and they lose meaning because of it, or the meaning is muddled, for instance "Ancient writing carved into the land [...] and wonders to the mortals". How is it carved into the land? What does that mean?
There's sentences where you describe events, and the way you describe them is distracting in of itself, for instance the whole first paragraph. As a reader, I find myself disagreeing with some of the verb use and thinking of ways that the meaning could be conveyed more simply and plainly, which I don't in stories where the author just gets on with telling me what he has to tell me.
It's unclear whether you're gonna go omniscient, 1st person or 2nd until the end, and, again, as a reader, I am distracted when what initially looked like omniscient narration seems to shitf into 1st person, back to omniscient and finally settles on "you". That's my thoughts on Monster Hunter.
Now, Private school, public life. Honestly this one is fine writing wise, IMO, certainly compared to the other. Shorter sentences, narration is plain and obvious, premise also seems to be plainly set in. I notice the things that bother me a lot less. The issue is I don't relate much to the MC - or not enough. I share his insecurities, but I feel like so does everyone else I know, including my more bubbly-friendly friends who were popular at what passes for highschool in our lands. Perhaps I am harsh on this point, but I expect more from an MC who should be 18 or more as per the rules on CHYOA. I do feel underappreciated, I do have fewer friends than I wish, and last time I was romantically inclined I met with failure. Yet that is not the root of whatever angst I may have at the moment and hasn't been for a while. (to be fair 200,000 people clearly disagree with me on that, so there it is).
I hope you can find something useful in all this nonsense. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so knowledgeable about all the different stylistic devices there are. I'd worry less about unearned snobbery.

 

[SilverSpectre006]

Oooof, I still remember making this post as if it were yesterday XD

Just wanted to thank you all for the advice, the feedback, the support and some of the criticism urged me to almost rewrite my monster hunter story. There was a point made about my story being linear and not what people look for in chyoa, soooo I've added multiple other story branches based on other characters and have rewritten the title and direction on the story. I haven't abandoned my main branch, just put it on hold and plan to make it much less linear and more fantasy enjoyable.

As for my writing skills and grammar, I guess I need practice if it is not up to par Haha. I look back at the first few chapters I've written and I'm glad to know I've gotten better since then, so I hope I improve in the future as well.

But yea, Monster Hunter is now Monster Girls instead because well, I don't see many other stories about that. Only issue is first impressions means everything so it will be a slow build from here... but all, fingers crossed!

Thank you for the kind words and feedback everyone

 

[Durzan]

Oooof, I still remember making this post as if it were yesterday XD
But yea, Monster Hunter is now Monster Girls instead because well, I don't see many other stories about that. Only issue is first impressions means everything so it will be a slow build from here... but all, fingers crossed!

Thank you for the kind words and feedback everyone

Hey, thats what these forums are for... getting feedback!

Anyway, I'm here to second gene.sis's assertion that views are basically useless.

If you wanna get a more accurate judge on how popular your story is, it is far better to look at Favorites (the most important, as those who favorite your story are essentially regular readers), Likes and Bookmarks (these are less reliable than favorites, as each page you make can get up to 1 like per person, but it does give you some numbers to work with), and of course comments (if you have any, comments are going to be your bread and butter for feedback as most readers wont use the forum). Then take that information and cross reference it with your creation date for the story. The more Favorites, Likes, and Bookmarks you have since you created the story the better. once you've figured that out, compare with a couple other stories of a similar genre and creation date, and that will give you a better idea about how your story is doing.

Then you need to consider what is typical for your genre.

 

[dbhbe]

As a long time lurker, only recent contributor, I think I agree with the fact that most people are just trying to be anonymous. I am pretty sure most people don't even glance at the like button as they go from chapter to chapter. I see a fair bit of people bookmarking my longer threads, but often those ones have not left any likes on my work, or the few times I glanced at a profile, anything else. I joined to improve my writing, so lack of feedback does hurt, but honestly, I found it rather enjoyable to write here.

SilverSpectre006 glancing at your work it looks pretty good to me. I tend to be biased towards stories with a lot of options when looking for something to read, so I have not done much more than glance at the front page on monster girls before, but I read a few more chapters, and it looks solid to me. I don't think I have ever read Private school, Public life, before but it looks pretty interesting from the first few chapters. I am rather terrible at story feedback as I like to see where the author leads rather than suggesting anything. So I tend to stay quiet and see where I am led.

Hi, just wanted to throw in my two cents. I had well over two hundred threads before I thought anyone was reading much of anything I wrote. Now I think people might actually like my writing. Sure I might be delusional as I still don’t get a lot of comments, but I at least have a few million views total and that makes me feel great. So I guess I’d say if you like writing, just keep writing. Before you know it you will have people following you, likes, views, and all the other happy things that will delude you into thinking you are good like it has to me.

I've been reading you for more then a decade and know a lot of your stuff off hand just by seeing your name. So yeah, I like your stuff pretty well, breaks the norm and has very interesting situations which are always a plus in my book. I had an old folder of favorites on a laptop I had long ago that had some of your work but never really thought to leave a like. My bad, pretty sure a lot of people are also like that as well, so total likes is likely a fraction of the overall people who really like a chapter, especially for older threads and stories.

 

[gene.sis]

I am rather terrible at story feedback as I like to see where the author leads rather than suggesting anything.

Hm... I don't really want feedback on how to continue as I usually have a vision in my head what should happen next. Except I'm asking about it.

So I would rather like to have feedback about what is already published. How do you like the storyline in general? Did you read a scene which was great/bad? Funny moments? How is writing/grammar? How do you like the characters?

 

[SilverSpectre006]

Hey, thats what these forums are for... getting feedback!

Then you need to consider what is typical for your genre.

I love receiving comments but alas, I've only gotten one in my Monster Girls story. Feels sad man XD

I just changed the genre from fantasy to miscellaneous, part of a story's success is a good first impression but also arriving at the perfect genre where the people are most active or hungry for new content. At least that's what I am thinking.

I unfortunately cannot start over with a first impression =( but at least I can test out other genres to see which one hits for my story. I don't know, I hate sounding like I'm full of myself but I know my work can be received better I just need to get it right. I need a good introduction, good genre, and the right amount of erotica

It's a work in progress but I am thankful for making this forum as you guys are the most feedback I've received about my content and it is helping me making changes for the better towards it danke

 

[SilverSpectre006]

SilverSpectre006 glancing at your work it looks pretty good to me. I tend to be biased towards stories with a lot of options when looking for something to read, so I have not done much more than glance at the front page on monster girls before, but I read a few more chapters, and it looks solid to me. I don't think I have ever read Private school, Public life, before but it looks pretty interesting from the first few chapters. I am rather terrible at story feedback as I like to see where the author leads rather than suggesting anything. So I tend to stay quiet and see where I am led.

Thanks for taking the time to glance, any small bit of info is helpful to me and I appreciate your comment about my work being alright. Lately my insecurities came back which is a real bitch to deal with, and recovering from a recent surgery isn't helping XD

So far I believe to be my greatest critic, and I think I made a decent introduction with my first story which is how it did fairly well. My second story, not so much. It has been months writing into it and it still remains a fairly small project regarding the likes and views. There is always the possibility that no one is searching for those kinds of stories, just as much as there is a chance that people have glanced at my work and thought it wasn't for them.

Ugh, I've seen other stories hit gold after its first week and I congratulate them but would be lying to say I do not envy them. Comments are the true fuel to an author that keeps them going, and it's a shame I have no control over them.

But happy thoughts, it's a story I wish to keep writing so I have my own drive there. I do think I can still make this story catch a bit more attention, I'm placing it in a few different genres to see how it works out. Fingers crossed that things continue to change for the better.

...I'm venting again, damn I thought I was passed this XD fufu, I'm only human after all. Well, thanks for the feedback dbhbe, I apologize if I rambled on and on. I'm always appreciative for people that take the time to survey my work before responding, thank you.

 

[Durzan]

Thanks for taking the time to glance, any small bit of info is helpful to me and I appreciate your comment about my work being alright. Lately my insecurities came back which is a real bitch to deal with, and recovering from a recent surgery isn't helping XD

So far I believe to be my greatest critic, and I think I made a decent introduction with my first story which is how it did fairly well. My second story, not so much. It has been months writing into it and it still remains a fairly small project regarding the likes and views. There is always the possibility that no one is searching for those kinds of stories, just as much as there is a chance that people have glanced at my work and thought it wasn't for them.

Ugh, I've seen other stories hit gold after its first week and I congratulate them but would be lying to say I do not envy them. Comments are the true fuel to an author that keeps them going, and it's a shame I have no control over them.

But happy thoughts, it's a story I wish to keep writing so I have my own drive there. I do think I can still make this story catch a bit more attention, I'm placing it in a few different genres to see how it works out. Fingers crossed that things continue to change for the better.

...I'm venting again, damn I thought I was passed this XD fufu, I'm only human after all. Well, thanks for the feedback dbhbe, I apologize if I rambled on and on. I'm always appreciative for people that take the time to survey my work before responding, thank you.

Mind Control, Non-Con (such as rape or dub-con), and Incest are all fairly popular...

Adding routes that focus on those aspects and then tagging them as secondary themes might help increase your popularity.