At the Cabin

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by johnhoftb, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

  2. Patzo

    Patzo Really Experienced

    For anyone who hasn't played Cards Against Humanity, the team behind it hosts a limited version (http://cardsagainsthumanity.com/lab/) to find popular cards that will go into upcoming editions. You might find it interesting to see how crude the game can get: it's much funnier with other people there to react to the cards.
     
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  3. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Ok, the orgy storyline has begun on this thread: http://chyoa.com/story/at-the-cabin/thread/everyone-s-going

    I've wrote the start of the party and stopped when Hannah dimmed the lights and put on some music, the cabin across the lake now looks like a nightclub. I guess we can start switching scenes with the characters fumbling their way on the dancefloor. Then after we feel it has gone long enough, Jennifer can interrupt the party and the game of truth or dare (?) can begin.
     
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  4. Patzo

    Patzo Really Experienced

    Alright. Are we going to have a "turn order," so to speak, on this branch? Or are we doing first-come-first-served for the time being?
     
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  5. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Maybe we should establish an order, so no one starts writing a thread that someone else already started.
     
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  6. Patzo

    Patzo Really Experienced

    I have an idea, but I'll post it in the comments on "Everyone's going." It'll be most relevant and most quickly seen there.

    EDIT: Fuck it. Basically, yes, I think we should do a turn order. It won't be much fun if people rush their work trying be the first to submit, especially if someone else's work goes up first anyway. Proposal: duskford, Yarkoz, Zingiber, me, repeat? Does anyone else want in?

    EDIT2: Just swapped Zingiber and Yarkoz's place on my proposal. This swapped version is what I wrote on "Everyone's going," and that one can't be edited, so...
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2015
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  7. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    I'm okay with this, and in theory I can submit fairly soon -- however, I will say my time here will be limited in the coming week. After the 30th, I will have more time, but duskford's time also sounds limited too, so maybe a slow start might be better in case other people want to join.
     
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  8. Patzo

    Patzo Really Experienced

    No worries. This doesn't have to be THE way of doing things, I just wanted to put something out there so we can figure out what works and what doesn't.
     
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  9. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Fine by me, both the order and the need for a slow start. I can write everyday at night, barring something unexpected coming up. On the weekends I have more free time.
     
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  10. Patzo

    Patzo Really Experienced

    Alright perfect. Yarkoz can submit a thread whenever he's got the free time, and then Zingiber and I will hash out our stuff before it comes back to duskford. It's probably for the best we don't match the rapid posting of the Alternate Beginning threads anyway. We can take extra days to dive into each thread and fill them out.
     
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  11. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    Agreed! Besides, I think the rapid postings are more spontaneous and stream of consciousness. Bottom-up development like we've done Patzo. This is a more structured, and top-down development works best with a slow unfurling. It can be enticing -- reminds me of my old RPG/LARP days.
     
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  12. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    One thing I forgot to mention, the three threads I've already posted are most edited versions from stuff of my main story. The new content starts at the end of the third thread.
     
  13. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    Do you want to add something more first, duskford?
     
  14. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I don't think so, Yarkoz, I only made a quick edit on a sentence at the third thread a couple minutes ago. We're good to go now.
     
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  15. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    I'll fit in somehow, whether it's turn-ordered or whatever.
     
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  16. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Ok, so I was asking myself, what should be our end goal with this orgy idea? Ozymandios requested a full fledged orgy, so I have an image in my head of 16 naked bodies doing whatever they want with each other in the same room until the sun comes up. And then, like it was suggested a few posts back, some threads dealing with the aftermath, that is, how each character is dealing with what they've done/seen. Anyone thinks differently or wants to add something to this?
     
  17. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    Well, I suppose there are angles to be explored -- who reacts in what way? Are there surprises in who jumps in, who holds back, who cuddles up in a corner or drags someone off to a room? Who gets off on being watched? Who likes watching? Who was imagining how "he" or "she" would be, sexually, and gets surprised?

    OK, who's our cast?

    (The other cabin): Dustin, Shawn, Peter, Kendra, Hannah, Taylor
    + Jennifer
    (Heather's cabin): Brandon, Ashley, Heather, Kurt, Gavin, Chloe, Zack, Victoria
    + Lisa

    Revised: that's 16; 7 boys, 9 girls ( @duskford : Thanks, I'd forgotten Kendra. ).

    I'll see if I can break it down by experience/eagerness in another post, remembering that I've spent most of my attention in the Alternate Start cabin with Lisa, Madison, Hannah, and Taylor and need to review the threads leading up to everyone going to The Other Cabin.
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2015
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  18. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Yes, those are exactly the angles I think we should explore, Zingiber, the build up and the character's thoughts during the whole thing. Those questions are sure to be featured at some point.

    Jennifer is the ranger, you forgot Kendra at the other cabin. There's 16 characters participating, 7 boys and 9 girls.
     
  19. Patzo

    Patzo Really Experienced

    I'd agree with a bacchanalia and just naked bodies everywhere. Hell, I might go all-out synaesthetic with my narration at the height of things, just to say how overwhelming all of it is. In terms of specific character beats, I have some ideas:

    > Chloe and Gavin have sex together, each others' firsts. It's as much about passion as it is about feeling they should do it, since Gavin's gone down on her and now they have a weird tension between them. But maybe it's not satisfactory, or seeing other people get freaky revs them up again, so they go on to have sex with other people. Threads set after the orgy explore whether they really want a relationship or something casual or to never mention it again.

    > Kendra both lusts after Shawn and hates the way he treats her. As the night goes on, Shawn pisses her off so much that she decides to pick a guy (maybe Kurt, since he's already been flirting with her) and, as the night continues, couple with him at the start of the orgy (possibly starting the orgy?). Shawn doesn't like it when other guys try to take what's his, though, so he joins in, the two guys using Kendra together.

    > Peter has a lot of pent-up frustration from his breakup with Hannah, and Taylor is just frustrated in general. The two of them jump each other because while just friends, they trust each other enough to try something more without it getting weird. Except they end up in a position where they're face-to-face with Zack and Hannah for maximum awkwardness on all sides. Whoever gets to that one can decide how they resolve the situation, both in the moment and in the aftermath.

    > Kurt's been admiring Jennifer's body since they came to the lake as kids. He hits on her, and he's old enough and handsome enough that this time (you know it's not the first he's done this) she agrees. Jennifer is an even better lay than he ever dreamed, but he's no slouch in the sack either, pulling out all his tricks. Kurt wants to make her beg for him, and she's not gonna let a man so much younger ravish her without working for it.
     
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  20. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    That's all good plots to approach during the scene, Patzo. Damn, the best one was this idea about Kurt and Jennifer, the problem is that it'd create conflict with an earlier thread that stated Heather befriended Jennifer about two years ago, when she got lost and Jen had just became a ranger, so it wouldn't be possible for her to have had met Heather and Kurt since they were kids (unless we establish a special continuity for these threads).

    Another point you've touched upon that we haven't discussed yet is what will trigger the orgy. For now we'll have a dancing scenario and there will be an arousing game later, but the fact that will make everything start still has to be discussed.