Almax
Really Experienced
Nah, no worries at all, I imagine it's as strange and foreign and interesting to you as not being it is to me. The way brains can work completely differently is pretty cool, so don't worry about asking by any stretch! I feel like I might repeat stuff I said in the comment you were replying to in my response, but I'll try word it in different ways so that it's clear what I mean.
Basically, I know it's not some sort of repression because I am actually fully comfortable with sex. I'm physically capable of having it, it still feels just as good while having it, and I'm not even close to being against having it. I found out I was asexual pretty much the second I heard the real definition, since I'd always assumed it meant "can't fall in love", which is not the case for me. When I found out it just meant "doesn't have a craving for sex", it wasn't a big moment or anything, I was just "oh there we are then". Followed by realising how interesting it was to me that my brain worked differently than a majority of people, and trying to understand how those other people's brains worked.
Asexuality has nothing at all to do with being unable or unwilling to have sex, essentially. You can of course have some of those traits all at the same time, but that's like having brown eyes and stubby fingernails -- having one doesn't really impact the other at all. Some confusion comes sometimes when people who misunderstand what asexual means will call themselves it because they're not emotionally down to have sex, because asexual is such a weird and poorly marketed word. For real, why would we snatch the word that means "reproduces with itself"?
I'll use the hunger analogy again, because it's one I'm pretty proud of and I think it's a good way to understand the feelings for yourself. In this world, nobody really needs sex or orgasms, right? Anybody can go without them if they focus up, and everybody can survive without them. But people still crave it and desire them. So, imagine a world where it's like that for food -- nobody needs to eat to survive anymore, but people still feel hungry and get cravings. They'll survive fine without eating, and if they put their minds to it they can go without eating, but it's something they need to fight. An asexual person in this world can still chew, can still digest, can still enjoy the taste of food, and can still go out of their way to bake something because they know it'll taste nice just like anybody else. But an asexual person won't feel hungry.
If I was dating someone who, for whatever reason, never ever wanted to have sex, I'd be just as cool with it as you'd probably be if they never ever wanted to cuddle in front of the TV. "Aw man, that's an enjoyable way to spend time together emotionally, but no worries because there are a million other ways left". For someone who wasn't asexual, that would either be a dealbreaker or they'd try to work with it if they really loved the person, but even still would see it as a difficult thing to overcome and probably talk to their friends like "I dunno man, I love them so much, but it's a hard thing to get past. Hope we get through it together.". So being down to not have sex if your partner's against it doesn't mean you're asexual, being down to not have sex if your partner's against it without any struggle or problems at all means you're asexual. Well, maybe a half second of problem if you really enjoy the way sex feels, because then it's like dating someone on a diet who doesn't want you to bake any chocolate cakes in the house even though you love to eat chocolate cakes, but you'd get over it pretty quickly and it's a different problem than someone who isn't asexual. "I enjoy the thing I now can't do, aw man." instead of "My body tells me I need to do that thing but I can't now.".
So long as they didn't also happen to have an unrelated aversion to sex for whatever reason they may, an asexual person would be just as down to have sex seven times a day with their partner as they would no times a day with their partner, so long as their partner was cool with (and probably the deciding force behind) that choice. Tons of asexual people even choose to masturbate even though they don't need to, because again, sex feels good and chocolate cake tastes nice. Hopefully that answers all of your questions!
