All's fair in love and war

[Ben Rosewood]

I recently adopted this story and I'm interested in feedback

https://chyoa.com/story/All's-fair-in-love-and-war.4919

 

[Zeebop]

The pictures in A Mole Hunt In California are a nice touch. It might be interesting to see some of the same chapters from a female agent's perspective. Also, you're going to want to be careful with your glossary - in Former Green Beret Troy Wolfgram you have him working for STD instead of STUD...kind of a different organization there...

 

[Ben Rosewood]

The pictures in A Mole Hunt In California are a nice touch.

Good to know. I was admittedly 50/50 on pictures as it basically cheating on character descriptions. Still, part of me loves hunting down the right images that are free and have no licensing issues. That and adapting the story to fit what images I can find.

It might be interesting to see some of the same chapters from a female agent's perspective.

Ultimately I do intend on having multiple agents, although right now I want to (mostly) complete Troy's first mission. Part of the reason I edited the hell out of the first chapter was to allow for a broader pool of agents and missions for them to perform.

Also, you're going to want to be careful with your glossary - in Former Green Beret Troy Wolfgram you have him working for STD instead of STUD...kind of a different organization there...

Thanks doc, I'll get that one checked out right away. I forgot I had changed the organization from STD to STUD

 

[Kore]

that are free and have no licensing issues

no licensing issues?
why should that images be "free"?
are they CC0 with additional permission to use them in a sexual context?