At the Cabin

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by johnhoftb, Sep 20, 2014.

  1. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    So, I was thinking about Kurt's role over all the storylines, and decided to start a discussion on him. How do you guys see him on the different storylines? I thought about three different endings for him in my story that I'll probably use on the alternate endings, ranging from serious ones like him getting arrested to funnier ones like his mother coming to pick him up after he screws up something; I even thought about an ending where he acts like a hero in his own peculiar way.
     
  2. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    All are fun endings for him (I like the idea of his mother picking him up, that's hilarious), and I think he has the capability of being a "hero" if he senses his dominance being threatened. Like a "I'll disrespect people and women, but I'll do it my way and I'll be damned if anyone else gets to do it in front of me." I imagine him being like a territorial bear like that.

    I've been playing around with him being a tortured mess -- like we discussed earlier, the reason he's a jerk is because of a very bad relationship that completely changed his attitudes towards women. I created his ex, Melanie, for that, but I haven't explored any details yet. I also imagine him to be quite intelligent, on par with Heather, and that's how he's able to manipulate people the way he can -- like how you have explored duskford. Still, his approach is pretty primal, and no amount of intelligence will save him from his pride if he can't think about what he's actually doing.
     
  3. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Yeah, all my thoughts were along those lines. The idea of him being like that because of an ex I think it's a must. If he was a jerk just for the sake of being one, he would be a pretty shallow character and that's not what I'm aiming for.

    Your take on the hero idea is similar to the one I'm thinking about doing, Yarkoz. I thought about him seeing someone threatening the girl who he's currently obsessed and having him saving her.
     
  4. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    I suppose Kurt could be a jerk because his dad is a jerk to the women in his life in the same way, but has other qualities Kurt would like to take on.

    Particularly if his mom and dad are separated, Kurt's treatment of women could be an active struggle between Kurt and his mom, or between Kurt's mom and dad with Kurt as proxy.

    At some point Kurt will get tired of being a player (likely by falling hard and getting dumped).

    Or he'll decide to hang onto a woman who will put up with his ways. For a while. One wonders if there might be a Loreena Bobbitt in his future if he goes the mail-order bride route.

    -Z.
     
  5. johnhoftb

    johnhoftb Experienced

    Site's back up!

    Figured I go ahead and not waste a post and say that my above idea for Zack's role in Chloe's body issues s coming up shortly, and another idea I've got in my head will hopefully get written here soon.

    Also, Zack and Chloe getting caught has a small change to the thread based off of another story y'all may have seen. :)

    Also, I noticed I kept using Zach instead of Zack in the threads I recently wrote...
     
  6. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Glad to see everything is back. I didn't stop working on the story either, I had a lot of ideas for both the current story and an eventual sequel. On the first one, I've been writing a few threads and decided to make Kurt become more integrated to the story.

    As for the eventual sequel, I've been thinking, if I ever get around to write that storyline from the future, it would be a third story in the series. First I want to do a piece set on the summer following the first story with Zack and his girlfriend (whom I'll let the other writers choose at the start) returning to Silver Lake with the older crowd that'll be introduced on the current story alongside Taylor and Hannah's arrival.
     
  7. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    Apologies for being offline for a bit, real life got in the way. I don't have much to submit, but I'll be writing more soon. I'm really enjoying everyone's submissions so far!
     
  8. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Welcome back, Yarkoz! Really, things are progressing, I'm almost reaching halfway point in my storyline and Vain and johnhoftb are still adding to their own threads as well.
     
  9. Yarkoz

    Yarkoz Really Really Experienced

    I see that, I'm enjoying it immensely! I feel bad for still being on day 2, but I chose the multiple paths to write lol -- I do have a question though, do you want me to submit brief character bios to you for the other characters thread? I don't mind if anyone decides to use Dale or Cassidy in any of their threads.
     
  10. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Yeah, I thought about adding a separate 'other characters' thread for characters created by the other writers, so it wouldn't get too much confusing with the current thread.
     
  11. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Finally reached halfway point (I think) on my story. Now things should get hectic with the arrival of Taylor, Hannah and their friends as the mystery behind the bear suits, the cave and the figure in the darkness start to unfold.

    On another note, I changed a little my idea of alternate endings. I was going to write a story where the end could be branched into Zack choosing one of the girls, but now I thought about another approach. I think it would be best to drop the alternate endings on different points in the story where each one would fit better. For example, if you read page 70 of my story, you'll see that Zack is prompted to make a decision, to refuse Lisa's advance or take her back as his girlfriend. In the "canon" path, he'll refuse her and the story will continue, but if he chooses to take her back, it'll trigger the alternate path to one of the endings, the one in which Zack stays with Lisa.

    And finally, regarding the sequel, I'll definitely write the short story about the weekend the characters will spend at the cabin on the summer following their high school graduation. I'll do it like I said before, on the beginning of the story I'll leave it open to the writers to choose with whom Zack finished the first story and go from there.
     
  12. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    So, I was thinking about possible outcomes to the story and something crossed my mind. What do you guys think about the pairing of Zack and Lisa as endgame in comparison to the other possible pairings?
     
  13. Torg

    Torg Really Experienced

    Just thought I'd stick my head in here. *waves* I hope you folks are liking my threads.
     
  14. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    I've enjoyed your threads so far, Torg, that scene with the foursome in the woods is really hot.
     
  15. Torg

    Torg Really Experienced

    Thanks! It's a lot of fun to write. The characters are the real draw for me in this story. Thanks to all for giving me a solid base to work from.
     
  16. Zingiber

    Zingiber Really Really Experienced

    Zack/Lisa is probably as good as any of the match-ups, and they already have an intimate tie. I expect that there will be multiple intense, soul-baring conversations to find out if their explosive sexual chemistry justifies working through jealousy and any other issues that come up around expectations and their hopes for the future. They can probably do OK in the "for better" times; would they survive "for worse", or just if the fire cools off a little?
     
  17. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    Zack burnt the bridges badly when they had sex at her cabin and he didn't take the chance to take her back, not to mention the fact that he cheated on her when they were dating, even if he thought it was her at the time. A possible storyline that I thought was one of Zack getting so caught up on his indecision between Heather and Victoria that he doesn't notice Lisa interacting with other guys, and when he does he gets jealous and starts to do everything to win her back. Anyway, just a possibility.
     
  18. lorderotica

    lorderotica Guest

    Lisa became a strong character in just a few threads. It seems that she might not be over it. It actually tells a lot about Lisa and Zack that they are far les reluctant with each other as Zack was with the other girls. Maybe she will be passionate enough to win him back.

    And she is the one who recognises that Zack was to weak to make a choice so far.
     
  19. Duskford

    Duskford CHYOA Guru

    That's exactly why I'm toying with the idea of giving her a bigger role, lorderotica. Her character fit very well into the conflict in Zack's head and, like you said, became a strong character as well. At the moment, she's not over him, but she was very hurt to be denied by Zack, especially after having sex with him. My idea would be for her to interact with the other guys and unconsciously leaving Zack jealous, then he would have to make a decision between three girls instead of two.

    As for her being able to tell that Zack wasn't too willing to make choice, well, they dated for a few months and got close during that time. Of all the girls at the cabin, she's the one who knows him best, aside from Chloe.
     
  20. Vain

    Vain Experienced

    Great writing with the last thread about Kurt, and a nice way to let him mature into one of the good guys of the story! : )
    I can't quite help but feel that a cynical like him would have a lot more trouble opening up about his past however, without having some ulterior and selfish reason behind it... I for one might not have wanted to reveal my own secret in return, like Zack did, in case the guy would turn back to worse again at the slightest hint of another fall out, and use that same secret against him. Only time (and the author) will tell though... ; )