Marcie and Gina read CHYOA

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by Gambio, Jan 24, 2021.

  1. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

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  2. MissNix

    MissNix Experienced

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  3. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Alright, added you. I'm happy to do another X-change story, so Marcie and Gina get a chance to complain that this is apparently a thing
     
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  4. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    That's the spirit!
     
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  5. MissNix

    MissNix Experienced

    Haha! Sounds good. :)
     
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  6. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

  7. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Marcie and Gina seem like such fun characters... I should really actually read the thing they're from. Also that part about the fantasy story thing hit real hard... I turned mine into an RP setting... So at least I still get to play with it a lot.
     
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  8. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    As a wise emperor once said: Do it!

    I recently finished it as well, so the whole thing is available. Its 80+ chapters, so should take you a while.


    the opposite with me actually, It started as an RP that i then used the background to write the Novel.
     
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  9. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Okay so... Where would I read it?

    Also actually I tried to run that RP here. The ZP RP unfortunately it sort of just died.
     
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  10. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    It's in my signature! I would say, but i just noticed that the link is broken

    https://chyoa.com/chapter/hard-candy.842660

    This is the start of my path, there are a few chapters before that to set the whole thing up.

    Some other authors have added to it, so for my path simply pick the first option each.
     
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  11. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Ah Hard Candy is the right thing. I did try it in the past, but yeah Link was broken. I'll check it out.

    Edit: Also it seems the Marcie and Gina read part is also broken and is in fact the link to Hard Candy now

    Second Edit: Wait... So... neither of the people in the picture on the first post of Marcie and Gina reads are actually Marcie or Gina... Huh...
     
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2021
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  12. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Well I didn't update Dustbin at all today, because I spent pretty much all day finishing Hard Candy and I don't know if there's a better place to say it, so I'm saying it here. It was amazing and I loved it.

    The characters are all really likable even if sometimes in intentionally unlikable ways. It honestly kind of reminds me of like Death Note or Code Geass. A cleverly written mind game. The actual sex stuff was mostly meh or actually a turn off for me, but the story and characters kept me going. Hell I'm probably gonna go back and read parts because I feel like I missed some important moments, like I definitely missed what was up with Lindsey, but damn it was good. Although I also have to say... The fact you consistently used the wrong life/live became almost a running gag as I read through it. Like I eventually got to a point where I couldn't believe it wasn't intentional anymore. Part of me feels like doing a full review of it at some point and maybe also read the branching paths by other authors to compare, but if I do do that... I dunno when.
     
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  13. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    Awesome, glad to hear you liked it!



    It's difficult for me to give a direct source of influence. My goal was basically “some girls playing realpolitik in high school” I can see where you are coming from with Death Note and Code Geass tough.



    I can't write compelling sex scenes for the live of me, so I tend to go over them quickly. I am a huge fan of body control and humiliation tough and erotica gives me an easy excuse to indulge in that kink as much as I want.



    Yeah, I really didn't want to spell Lindsey's motivation out as I felt it would lose a lot of punch that way. It's not too difficult to put together tough.


    The live/life thing is indeed a metaphor towards the fleeting concept of live itself. Have you ever noticed that live spells evil backwards? Now go over the text and read the passages where I misspelled it carefully. You'd be surprised at your findings!



    ...nah i'm just fucking with you. I'm just not very good at this whole writing thing.


    Oh, and yes I just really like that picture. Gina is on the cover image of "Cursed Punishment" and Marcie looks just like my avatar.
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2021
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  14. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Just takes practice! We also have tips for that.
     
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  15. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    The picture used for Marcie and Gina reads is a real nice picture and yeah I did see the picture of Gina at the beginning of Cursed Punishment.

    Also I don't want to come off as a dick here, but...

    Live is the verb form, Life is the noun. If in the context of the sentence it is something the person is doing it is live. "I will live" if in the context you are talking about something that exists, Ie someone's life, or the concept of being alive, then it's life. I hope this is helpful and doesn't just come off as me being patronizing.
     
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  16. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    God damnit, now I have to actually improve


    I genuinly wasn't aware Live/Life was an issue of mine. I always had a hard time with grammar lessons and tend to just wing it. That works well enough for the most part, altough when I get something wrong like this it tends to stick for a long time
     
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  17. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    I mean the life/live was the only major repeated one at least.
     
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  18. NaughtyOppa

    NaughtyOppa Experienced

  19. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    added

    Good heavens we actually are building up a backlog again, was not expecting this
     
  20. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

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