Marcie and Gina read CHYOA

Discussion in 'Story Feedback' started by Gambio, Jan 24, 2021.

  1. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Oh you meant like unfinished paths... Oh yeah working on those too.
     
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  2. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Heh. Yeah, not so many paths in my story that end with a corpse. Well, except for that one brain-fucking branch.
     
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  3. I'm terrified of all the criticism you could give me, but intrigued nonetheless. I haven't read through all of your chapters, but I'm in awe of your motivation to continuously put out new content on the Cursed Punishment story so I'll offer up my own story in hopes it'll give some more motivation to you. Also, I'm hoping it will give me some motivation of my own to keep writing when I've slowed down to just barely enough to look like I haven't abandoned the story just yet.

    I'd probably stick with the first option for every branch as that's probably better fleshed out, but the submissive branch (option 3 on chapter 10) starts out pretty good for some girl-on-girl domination scenes.

    https://chyoa.com/story/X-Change-University.23411

    Thanks in advance if you even bother to check out the story.
     
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  4. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Haha, thanks.

    I usually don't start publishing until I have a lot of chapters available, so with Cursed Punishment i had a big headstart. I basically wrote the bulk of it back in November/December

    Yeah, writers block sucks, currently experiencing this on my own, Luckily Marcie&Gina pretty much write themselves on their own.

    I added your story.
     
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  5. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    I actually waited until I had reached at least one bad end for each of the characters in Dustbin before even publishing it.
     
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  6. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

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  7. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    If you get bored, you could always try the longest branch of LLNO. :p I think the last time you tried it, you hit a dead-end at 15 or so...but there's one branch that goes 31 chapters deep, and that's a bit of an emotional journey.
     
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  8. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru


    Might as well take you up on that, altough I would prefer to finish the current path first, so it's more consistent.
     
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  9. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Entirely up to you; that just might take a while at the current rate of likes/writing.
     
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  10. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

  11. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Probably worth mentioning that X-Change is a whole thing outside of CHYOA, but tends to focus on...short-form media. So that might account for some of the quick-acceptance there.
     
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  12. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Yeah even on CHYOA there appears to be a second story on the same subject, had me confused greatly for a moment
     
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  13. Yep. A lot of inspiration on the setting came from this HTML game: https://tfgames.site/?module=viewgame&id=1521
     
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  15. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    but that's grammatically incorrect, god damnit!


    Too many people are agreeing with Marcie and Gina, so i'm actually offering up some special service, that will hopefully stop everyone from being so god damn polite.

    New and improved guidelines:

    https://chyoa.com/chapter/What-the-fuck-is-this-shit.877247
     
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  16. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

    Heh. That might be fun.
     
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  17. Zeebop

    Zeebop CHYOA Guru

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  18. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Oh that is extremely tempting...

    Part of me really wants to, but the question is... Ruby and who?

    After all they only read Ruby's path so it would be weird to include any other characters, except maybe Claw... Since they did get one of his bad endings... Hmm... I will have to think on this.
     
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  19. Gambio

    Gambio CHYOA Guru

    Luckily no balls to be busted with Marcie&Gina, but Gina got at the very least triggered and is now fantasizing about getting kidnapped for a hot threesome


    Maybe best to wait for the follow up. I'm sure Gina and Marcie will have some choice words to say about Claw and his gang of nerds.

    I see you added plenty to the story, so just give me a holler once you finished a path, or have appropriate enough content
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2021
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  20. TheLeherengin

    TheLeherengin Really Really Experienced

    Well... I have finished Ruby's day 1 content, but that doesn't add that much from what was there since Gina And Marcie's last review. The next major content addition I'm focusing on is Emily's day 1 content. So. I was thinking of offering that up once it's completed. It's going to be a while before there's any completely finished character content since There's probably going to be at least several days passing in each character path before we get to what I'm going to call the good ends for each character.
     
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